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i could never understand why i lacked the tools to distance myself from people who hurt me and kept hurting me. i’d always go back, i’d always “forgive,” and i’d always fawn (try and be better because it’s obviously my fault i wasn’t perfect, duh.) .
there has been a recent shift in my life where i will feel physically angry when i’m subjected to mistreatment. sometimes i’ll put it aside in favor of my fears but sometimes i feel it and let it be.. and when i do, i find i have the power to uphold simple boundaries that protect me from the mistreatment. it’s the darndest thing (would you believe it if i said i’m black?)
Apr 24, 2024
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As a recovering people-pleaser, turns out the whole world doesn’t fall apart if instead of suppressing anger I actually let myself feel it from time to time 🫨
Dec 7, 2024
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perhaps the greatest challenge in my life is this one. i can name one or two times in my life when i felt truly angry at someone--it always manifests as sadness. im trying to learn how to be angry at people, how to feel safe being angry, and how to embrace anger. it's hard !!
Feb 18, 2024
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It is actually very unnatural to not feel any anger. Anger is a sign that something is not right. If you have not felt any anger, it is probably because you had been taught to repress it.
From personal experience, it is going to suck for a little bit. When I finally got in touch with my anger, I had been repressing it for 25 years and it felt like it was seeping out of my pores. It felt so unnatural to who I was, but I could not stop it. positive side of this is that I was working with the therapist and I was able to come out the other side. I now understand my anger a lot better and I know how to handle it when I do get angry. It becomes a passing emotion now and not one that I get stuck in.
Remember that this is temporary. Find places to channel it. Work with your therapist to get to the root of why you have all of this anger built up and address it there. It’s important that you treat it at the surface level, but if you don’t get to the bottom of it, you won’t actually integrate it and transform it.
This is part of continuing to grow into a whole human being! Exciting stuff, although it is hard and not always fun. I believe in you though!!
Nov 21, 2024
Top Recs from @shooting_star
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for like 5 minutes, it helps, promise! you can wash ur hands right after and you’ll find it wasn’t the end of the world when you got a little dirty for those 5 minutes, as uncomfortable as it was. and for all the discomfort, your brain switched off and you could just be with the old, familiar sensations of your youth. get lost in it!
Apr 23, 2024
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you’re familiar with hellmann’s, you’ve obsessed over kewpie but have you tried dutch mayo? i truly believe it would sway the staunchest of hater’s hearts into the loving arms of mayonnaise. so tangy, so sweet, so delicious. like i would have it as the sole condiment on my fries type good!
calvé is my go-to brand! zaanse & remia are other well known brands!
Apr 22, 2024
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1. it reminds you why you’re on this path and the light and hope that awaits you on the other side
2. it feels more satisfying than the, “5 tips to get over someone” articles due to the inexhaustible content
3. you could text him.. or you could seek out that dopamine hit you’ll get when you read a random reddit comment from 5 years ago that validates you in just the right ways and renews your strength for just that little bit longer! no depressive crashes here
4. again.. the VALIDATION. there is nothing new under the sun and you will get through this
5. the horror stories will help you appreciate that things aren’t worse than they are <3
6. you’re basically playing therapist and detective, stitching together overarching narratives you may have missed while in the thick of it, psychoanalyzing the reasons for this breakdown, and most importantly realizing just how needful this move was for both parties. it all helps in bringing a sense of peace
!!
Apr 22, 2024