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perhaps the greatest challenge in my life is this one. i can name one or two times in my life when i felt truly angry at someone--it always manifests as sadness. im trying to learn how to be angry at people, how to feel safe being angry, and how to embrace anger. it's hard !!
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i could never understand why i lacked the tools to distance myself from people who hurt me and kept hurting me. i’d always go back, i’d always “forgive,” and i’d always fawn (try and be better because it’s obviously my fault i wasn’t perfect, duh.) .
there has been a recent shift in my life where i will feel physically angry when i’m subjected to mistreatment. sometimes i’ll put it aside in favor of my fears but sometimes i feel it and let it be.. and when i do, i find i have the power to uphold simple boundaries that protect me from the mistreatment. it’s the darndest thing (would you believe it if i said i’m black?)
Apr 24, 2024
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It is actually very unnatural to not feel any anger. Anger is a sign that something is not right. If you have not felt any anger, it is probably because you had been taught to repress it.
From personal experience, it is going to suck for a little bit. When I finally got in touch with my anger, I had been repressing it for 25 years and it felt like it was seeping out of my pores. It felt so unnatural to who I was, but I could not stop it. positive side of this is that I was working with the therapist and I was able to come out the other side. I now understand my anger a lot better and I know how to handle it when I do get angry. It becomes a passing emotion now and not one that I get stuck in.
Remember that this is temporary. Find places to channel it. Work with your therapist to get to the root of why you have all of this anger built up and address it there. It’s important that you treat it at the surface level, but if you don’t get to the bottom of it, you won’t actually integrate it and transform it.
This is part of continuing to grow into a whole human being! Exciting stuff, although it is hard and not always fun. I believe in you though!!
Nov 21, 2024
As a recovering people-pleaser, turns out the whole world doesn’t fall apart if instead of suppressing anger I actually let myself feel it from time to time 🫨
Dec 7, 2024
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lay it all out there like this is the town square
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ohhhhhh
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