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Treating your emotions as friends

Lately sadness has been visiting. We’ve talked about why they‘re around, and I understand. They can stay as long as they need. I don’t need them to change, or leave. They’re with me while I’m making waffles with my son. They’re with us on our trip to the record store to buy a gift for my sister. I make space for them when it’s needed, otherwise they’re just another part of the gang. It’s not a problem to be solved. Their existence just requires an expansion of loving to wrap them in. Sadness deserves kindness and gentleness, too.

@mossyelfie

Jun 15, 2024

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ALLOW YOURSELF TO FEEL SAD

There is no getting around it really. Acknowledge the pain and sadness and be grateful to have experienced something that continues to make you feel deeply. Sorry if this is not helpful at all lol

@propanecowboy

Apr 10, 2025

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feel sad!!

i usually feel like when something bad happens there's kind of a finite amount of sadness associated with it. so i can choose to get it all out at once or try to fight it and just end up spreading it over a longer period of time, and one of those is much healthier. so put on some sad music and cry

@corduroy

Oct 6, 2024

Top Recs from @veronjque

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From someone that often is PARALYSED due to fear and anxiety: take that walk

This morning I started to recognise the familiar symptoms of an anxiety attack, that usually leads me to be completely unable to function. I have my resources and I can handle them (anxiety/panic attacks), even if they cause me an immense amount of pain, both physically and emotionally. But there’s one thing I was never ever able to do, that people often told me would help: put on comfortable clothes and take a walk, go outside and breathe, get the fuck out of your room. I thought I would never been able to do that, never. “I am not strong enough, it may be good for others, but me? I’m weak, I cannot function, something bad might happen, my body is not my ally in these cases”. I guess I was wrong, and I’m so happy to admit I was wrong. I said to myself, when those symptoms arised this morning: “ok, breathe, it’s just the same familiar stuff you know very well. Now, you can deal with it, even if you’re scared. But this time, why don’t you try something different? For just one time, allow yourself to react by moving your body, try to show your mind that there are other ways to deal with this”. I was scared as fuck, but I did it. And I discovered another part of myself that I thought wasn’t there. My body, this time, wasn’t against me…and maybe it never was, the poor thing was just trying to adapt to the comfort zone that stillness represented. I am incredibly strong, so much more than what I thought. And if someone needs to hear this: YOU ARE TOO.

@veronjque

Jan 25, 2025

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We talk with our hands. Yes, I’m one of “those” 🍝

This thing always makes me smile. When I was little I never thought that something that came so natural to me could be perceived as weird/intriguing/surprising by people from other cultures. Growing up I understood that for others it was fascinating and funny, in some kind of way, to see us Italians, in our cities, in bars, restaurants, in squares, in the middle of the street, communicate with one another using very specific hand gestures paired with very specific facial expressions. It’s not just casually moving our hands up and down chaotically to emphasise what we are saying. I swear, we are able to communicate with each other without saying a single word, just using hand gestures+the facial expression associated with that gesture (we have at least 250 specific hand gestures). The roots of this sociological and anthropological phenomenon are to be found in the history of my country.  Basically for a long time Italy was not a unified country, we had dialects and languages that were different in every region, we had what we call “Signorie”, ruled by rich Italian families, then reigns that were ruled by Austria, Spain, France and so on. Basically, we couldn’t understand each other. Latin was the language of the educated, and Italian vulgar (Italian of the origins, which then gave life to the Italian spoken today) was not yet spoken. The only way to understand each other was through gestures. Even now, if a Venetian had to speak in dialect with a Sardinian, and the Sardinian had to speak in Sardinian, they would not understand well, but if they had to use the gestures they would understand instantly. I would love to create a sort of tutorial for italian gestures, maybe one day?  If someone knows a gesture, you can ask me what it actually means.  Maybe I can start with the most famous one, and the most misunderstood of all: “🤌🏼” When do we use this and what does it mean?  Let’s start with three different situations were you can use this gesture, even though there are more (the intensity of the meaning varies from the situation ur in): 1) What do you mean? (move the hand not to fast, up and down, close to your body) context: a friend says something that you don’t understand, you are confused. Facial expression: a kind of grimace with the corners of the mouth pointing downwards, the slit eyes (as when you can’t see well from afar), the eyebrows slightly frowning. You are not angry, just confused. 2) Start by raising a bit your open hand in front of the person you are facing (✋🏼-> meaning “stop”, “wait a minute”), then proceed with moving up and down your hand “🤌🏼”, turning the hand horizontally towards you chest. You’re not agreeing with what the person is saying, you’re a bit nervous, this gesture means “wait, what the heck are you saying?”. Facial expression: similar as the first one when you put you open hand up (bit more confused), then when you move the hand horizontally, accentuate that expression even more, with the mouth straight and clenched. Context: you are pissed, not angry. You’re starting to get angry. 3) Raise your arm horizontally, the hand is still in this position “🤌🏼” but turned horizontally as well. With a lot of emphasis, move the arm towards your chest and then facing it towards the other person, repeatedly. Meaning: “WHAT THE F DO U WANT?” Or “WHAT THE F ARE YOU SAYING TO ME?”. Context: someone insults you, someone makes you very very angry by saying something. Facial expression: the face you do when you’re really angry 😤. (this is not good because this means an argument is going to start).  If you want a part 2…let me know? I don’t know if this is interesting, or if it was clear.

@veronjque

Apr 30, 2024

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I realised he really took notes

He was particularly fixated on changing his style. He was no longer comfortable, he wanted to look good, feel good. He often asked me for advice, he wanted an honest opinion from a friend (he had also asked another friend of ours in common). He asked for honesty without sugarcoating it: I went into detail on which colours would surely highlight his light-blue/green-ish eyes or his complexion (I insisted on how blue navy would’ve suited him), I told him it would have been perfect if he wore a nice shirt every now and then. Simple jeans, more classic cut pants. A good haircut. I did not see him for a few days, then... He showed up at Uni, walked by me and I didn’t even recognise him, he proceeded to sit by my side and I didn’t even turn around because I thought he was a random person that I didn’t know. He touched my shoulder and said, "Hey, we don’t say hi anymore?" with a big bright smile. He really took everything literally. Friends? Sure. Did I pay attention to a single word that was said that day in class? Absolutely not. I want to scream now.

@veronjque

Jul 16, 2024