Rec | MEANINGFUL CONNECTION

Rec

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as i’m moving through life and moving through different relationships i’ve realised that i really just crave meaningful connection. no matter under what label or circumstance i meet someone, i want to feel like i matter. i feel, sometimes, so hopeless in this goal of making meaningful connections bc so many people that ive been friends with have turned out to be worse people than i thought them to be. whether its them changing into someone i don’t recognise, or showing true colours when we discuss values, i just am at a point where i really struggle to form relationships. but theres a few people in my life who i just have to think about and immediately my mind lights up! i find that i can have a bit of an all or nothing attitude. that is, i had a shit day therefore i’ve always had shit days and will forever have shit days, or like now, i struggle making meaningful connections therefore none of my connections have been, are, or will ever be meaningful
maybe it’s just past 9pm and i should go sleep…

@smalldogbigfeelings

Apr 18, 2024

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@lhannan

This is a huge mood for me too! Especially since I grew up online where finding connections (on the early internet, in the 90s - early 2000s) was really easy! Since not too many people used it everyone made friends with everyone. Transitioning from that to the modern internet where you kinda already have to know somebody has been rough actually! As for the all or nothing thinking, I used to struggle a bit with that too and cognitive behavioral therapy helped with that. Didn't even see a therapist, just read up on it and did some exercises. I still feel disconnected from people so not sure if it will help with that part, but it helped me in other ways! Anyway this was posted 4 days ago so uh hope you have a better day today!

Apr 23, 2024

@smalldogbigfeelings

lhannan i think the same way you struggled with that transition, i think im maybe just in a transitional period of life where simple things just feel so much harder than they used to! i have been thinking about going to therapy so i will definitely look into behavioural cognitive therapy. thank you for the recommendation!

Apr 29, 2024

@ninaa

its SO hard making meaningful lasting connections! a lot of our western culture feels surface level for so long, even feeling as if I’m in A talking stage with a friend? It’s so fuckin weird. im not from the warmest of cultures but people here don’t even care what you have to say when they ask how you are. Like you asked ME? we Move through life like we don’t need community, like we don’t have obligations to people and it’s making us lonely. show your friends you care! It’s cool to care! Honestly could talk on this for foreverrrr

Apr 21, 2024

@smalldogbigfeelings

ninaa yes! i find it really hard to gauge sometimes what „level” if friendship i have with people which is so dumb and confusing. and yes yes on the community part! western culture is so self-obsessed that we don’t feel like we can rely on others, and that others don’t offer support in significant ways! i’ve been trying to be more communicative with friends about the type of things i value in connections and i do feel more connected when i offer support and ask for support without feeling embarrassed or bad about it! this came from a tiktok where someone said if you’re not actively asking for help, you’re doing a disservice to your community! i think it was meant a little bit as a joke but i realised that sometimes i wait for support without asking for it, and how will friends know i need help if i don’t communicate that with them!!

Apr 29, 2024

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wanting to be wanted

I met with a friend yesterday that I haven’t seen or really spoken to in months. We discovered that during the month of January we both endured similarly painful experiences of being wanted my someone and wanting them in return, only to have that person take everything back within the span of a couple days.
It’s a really confusing and jarring feeling and it’s like mourning something that hasn’t even had the chance to begin. During this conversation We reflected a lot on our generation (mid twenties) and how apathetic so many people have become. When did it become a crime to want and be wanted??
As much as I’ve been finding myself and have been on a real journey of self fulfillment lately, I still find myself aching with the loss of this person, or maybe the feeling this person gave me. I wish that someone could love me in the way that I love. I wish oversharing wasn’t a word in our vocabulary and that we could speak freely and from the heart at all times. Im so done being casual and nonchalant and apathetic; I care so much I can’t stand it.

@emmmmuh

Feb 8, 2025

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Some things to consider

Something to think about is why you might not feel a deep connection to anyone. For me, it’s because I don’t do enough to meet new people and because I don’t feel comfortable sharing with people I do know. I make a lot of jokes and keep things on a surface level. And of course there are psychological reasons for that.
Does everything have to be meaningful? Not at all! I think there are a lot of posts here about deep, meaningful feelings, but those posts aren’t so different from people staging photos and using filters on instagram. people choose how they want to present themselves on the internet. I, for one, wouldn’t tell anyone in person the things I’m writing to you! So don’t compare yourself to others, especially online representations of others!
But, do try to meet new people and do things you enjoy. You only can find “your people” if you actively look for them.

@bee1000

Jan 25, 2025

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Caring begets more care, loving begets more love

In a world and in a political landscape where it is so easy to despair, looking into the eyes of another human being and really listening while they speak means so much. The more you seek connection with others, the more opportunities for joy and belonging will open up to you. It is so easy to feel downtrodden, isolated and afraid nowadays. My own tendency to isolate in times of stress and sadness has often left me little energy to think outside of myself and my immediate circle. There are times to turn inward, but it is so much more valuable when those times of reflection are met with connection. I, like so many, have had unhealthy ways of coping with my own traumas and grief, my insecurities and broken heart. Over the last year, I have put in real work to better myself, to respect myself, and in garnering this renewed self-love, I've found I have more to give tenfold. Eating well and moving my body really does wonders, gives me more energy and inspiration to take care of myself, and by proxy those around me. I suddenly want to read more, cook more, engage in more meaningful conversation, take on new projects with friends that will enrich our lives. I've been feeling so existential and sentimental recently, in an extreme way I've never experienced before, because it is paired with the efforts I've made to treat myself differently and better. For the first time in what feels like a very long time, I actually find myself wanting to make the most of my life, of life in general, instead of lying in wait for some invisible, impending threat, or even merely waiting for things to maybe work out in an acceptable, tepid way someday. I want to make the most of everything. I think this is the key to sustained happiness and hopefulness–—listening to what your body wants, treating it as well as you can, and using the stamina you achieve to connect with others and be present in the world. It may all be doomed, but I still see beauty around me simply by not turning away from it anymore, enough beauty to really, really believe that it is such an exquisite accident to be alive.

@linfo

Mar 7, 2025

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