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In a world and in a political landscape where it is so easy to despair, looking into the eyes of another human being and really listening while they speak means so much. The more you seek connection with others, the more opportunities for joy and belonging will open up to you. It is so easy to feel downtrodden, isolated and afraid nowadays. My own tendencyĀ to isolate in times of stress and sadness has often left me little energyĀ to think outside of myself and my immediate circle. There are times to turn inward, but it is so much more valuable when those times ofĀ reflection are met with connection. I, like so many, have had unhealthy ways of coping with my own traumas and grief, my insecurities and broken heart. Over the last year, I have put in real work to better myself, to respect myself, and in garnering this renewed self-love, I've found I have more to give tenfold. Eating well and moving my body really does wonders, gives me more energy and inspirationĀ to take care of myself, and by proxy those around me. I suddenly want to read more, cook more, engage in more meaningful conversation, take on new projects with friends that will enrich our lives.
I've been feeling so existential and sentimental recently, in an extreme way I've never experienced before, because it is paired with the efforts I've made to treat myself differently and better. For the first time in what feels like a very long time, I actually find myself wanting to make the most of my life, of life in general, instead of lying in wait for some invisible, impending threat,Ā or even merely waiting for things to maybe work out in an acceptable, tepid way someday. I want to make the most of everything. I think this is the key to sustained happiness and hopefulnessāālistening to what your body wants, treating it as well as you can, and using the stamina you achieve to connect with others and be present in the world. It may all be doomed, but I still see beauty around me simply by not turning away from it anymore, enough beauty to really, really believe that it is such an exquisite accident to be alive.Ā
Mar 7, 2025
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A little personal, but being non-binary, I grew up very dissociated from my body and my time, so I donāt remember a good chunk of my formative years and have retained none of my hobbies. Recently tho, I have been trying to piece myself back together, so I have been spending a lot of time on my own. Another thing about me is that I have crushes everywhere I go, so I spend a lot of time loving others. After breaking-up with an ex that made me feel very neglected qnd unappreciated, I decided that I was going to give myself as much love and attention as I give my crushes and lovers. This has changed me.
I just let myself feel my feelings and get carried away by them. I get myself little treats and flowers, I get myself little treats and gifts. I organize little fun dates/plans for myself where I engage in new hobbies. Small manageable things that donāt feel too overwhelming to learn, like decorating Altoids tins with collage or journaling. By letting myself navigate the world through my feelings, Iāve discovered what I like, dislike, and developed little rituals and habits that I can then tell other about and share.
Social media has helped me that way, surprisingly. I treat my instagram like a scrap book and use it to document my feelings with shitposts and photos; the visual story telling makes me appreciate the little things. Pinterest allows me to collect things I like and develop a taste with no effort and no consequences, and I end up with huge pin boards full of pictures and art I love and that make me feel particular things I can name and explore. This app has been good for that too.
It takes time, love, self-compassion, and trust. Trust that the love others give you is legitimate. Trust that you are liked for a genuine reason. Trust that the mundane is magical by itself, love it for that. Trust that you donāt need to be special to be worthy of love, you can just be a person and thatās really cool <3
Mar 11, 2024
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I saw the part about missing being surprised and delighted which stuck with me, and I think sometimes it helps to look for the wonder in the world and to go out of your way to romanticize your life almost. I think humans can fall into a monotony in their every day routine which can really dull our shine and happiness, and itās up to us to give ourselves different stimulation to counter that. I also think that we are constantly holding ourselves to the measurements of others. There are so many things to be proud of yourself for outside of āmaking movesā and learning to enjoy life again can be one of them, because whatās the point when we lose that whole point?
Go out of your way to find a new place in nature you love and just take some time to ignore screens and breathe it in, visit a new book store, buy yourself flowers, find a new coffee shop or restaurant, visit a museum by yourself and take all the time in the world inside, try learning a new language or reading more books, take a free online course. There are so many things that you can do to better your mental health or better yourself, that would simultaneously enrich your life and make you feel proud of yourself.
May 14, 2025
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This time 4 years ago, I was reeling from the most embarrassingly heinous situationship thatās ever befallen anyone I know (lol this guy is perhaps a story for another time). Now Iām 2 years into living with the love of my life, thinking that I was too broken to ever get close to a human being again
Some of the (many) things that worked for me:
- Taking an extended period away from dating, far longer than I had thought. In a fucked up way, I think Covid saved my life since I functionally had no way to get back out there for 6+ months (Iām not counting those weird FaceTime dates). Even if you think youāre ready, itās possible you could still benefit from time outside the cesspool just working on yourself and investing in friendships/hobbies/your career/learning new stuff/whatever.
- On a related note, therapy was very needed!
- Start a new, group hobby where youāll see the same people each week. Not that youāll forcibly end up dating someone you meet there, but an expanded circle often brings good into your life and itās exciting to have something new in your life that isnāt tied to success on a dating app.
- Not to be that person since I always hated when people said this to me when I was single, but it always happens when you least expect it. All of the above contributes to a new you who isnāt yearning for it above all else. People are drawn to others who seem to be thriving without them and I promise you youāll attract much higher quality people when you project this attitude (my own prospects were night and day since I was content in my own life and saw someone as additive not just looking for love/acceptance/contact from whoever could provide it).
Those are the things that came to me initially, but will keep noodling. Rooting for you ā¤ļø
Apr 1, 2024
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Iām on an instagram break plus I like you guys more so please enjoy this painting I am proud of. Referencing Boschās garden of earthly delights, specifically the third āHellā panel ā¤ļøāš„ acrylic and gouache on raw canvas!
Feb 5, 2025
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Like I am sometimes haunted by thoughts and thinking too much can be low key scary
Jan 30, 2025
Mar 13, 2025