🎁
this is the best example of “less is more” in action. lengthen this period of celebration by orchestrating a few different small group events, it allows you to focus more of your time and energy on the people you’re with rather than trying to spread yourself thin between everyone you know being in the same place all at once. the pressure of wanting things to go right on this one special evening is lessened, bc you know you’re going to have more opportunities. allows for diversity of vibe (i can do dinner AND a picnic AND a bar hang!!) less overwhelming and more funnnnnn
Apr 2, 2024
Related Recs
manifesto forthcoming.
i hear time and time again - “i’m not a birthday person.” as a convert, i’m here to challenge that limiting belief.
not unlike new year‘s eve, getting your hopes up for a single night is futile. thus, i have the following advice:
-embrace birthday week
month is a little much, even for me, but allow the week to be birthday-centric. this doesn’t have to be sunday to sunday; it can consist of any of the surrounding days that feel relevant to THE day
-multiple experiences
much like new year’s eve, hanging your hat on one night is doomed. thus, i recommend that you implement ALL (not some) of the following:
INTIMATE DINNER
+with partner, family, a couple of friends. something that feels low key and non stressful. great for a thursday or sunday night. let them know ahead of time (if they need reminding) that you would like a candle of some sort on a house dessert (is this too bossy?? NO! you’d do the same for the ones you love. next). (i also get desserts with candles the whole month, unabashedly. and do the same for loved ones.)
SOLO DAY
+plan things for yourself: solo lunch, matinee, massage. buy a fancy latte. take a cab. spare no expense; today you turn off the switch in your head that wonders if it’s worth it because it is.
FRIEND DAY
+have people over, meet at a bar, or throw a full on party. this is group time. i honestly recommend doing this one last. you’ll likely have enough fun with the other two events that this will feel like a cherry on top. ask your type A friend to help plan, if you need help, and remind them again ab some sort of treat w canes. this doesn’t have to be a blowout! tell everyone to bring whomever, +1s, enemies as it’s more-the-merrier vibes.
tl;dr everyone deserves to be celebrated and there are people in your life eager to help you make it happen. ask for what you want. do the same for them down the line ❤️
ps my birthday is 3/17 if you need to start preparing
pps bonus tip - pic is of last year’s birthday outfit. i also like to throw a very easy mini theme to get people thinking ahead of time (i said to wear silk, leather, or mesh. everybody looked hot)
ppps i have so much more to say ab this, lmk if you want more
Feb 3, 2024
🎂
i feel like these get a bad rep but for anxious people who like an opportunity to divert attention, this is the perfect solution
my good friend has the same bday as me and it makes me less sad about aging when i get to do it with them and focus some of my time on making sure they have a day that makes them feel special!!!
Jan 10, 2024
🌄
my birthday often falls the week of thanksgiving, so i usually just take the day off as a "extending the long weekend" if i don't already get it off. since i moved to the west coast ~3 years ago and most of my friends and family are back in new york, every year on my birthday in the morning i make sure to:
1. respond to every single birthday text i got, and if possible hop on a quick call with as many people as i can. basically just a gratitude practice of "hey as i've gotten older i've not only developed meaningful relationships, i've also held onto a lot of meaningful relationships."
2. eat breakfast out; i think my birthday breakfast for the last two years has been Oddfellows Café + Bar (oddfellowscafe.com), but taking the time to have an extra special solo (or with my partner) breakfast keeps the scaries at bay for at least a couple hours
3. going shopping for a birthday gift for myself in person so i have something to open when i get home.
after that it's pretty much just about having a couple extra things to do during my day like trying a new restaurant / going to a favorite for lunch, running a "fun" errand like dropping off film to get scanned, and then meeting local friends for either dinner out and / or cake and games back at my apartment, etc.
having something where i can look back and feel like i did something is all i'm looking for; i think through my late teens / early twenties i put a lot of emphasis on wanting my my birthday to feel "special" which meant it was doomed to not be "special" enough. since pivoting to having fun my birthday has felt a lot more special since it's just different from the monotony of a normal day, and there wasn't any extra pressure on it
Apr 1, 2024
Top Recs from @beatrice222
✅
saying thank you to every single staff member on my way in and out !! excuse me please and thank you patrons for letting me squeeze past! i am just rolling in gratitude i love it here
Feb 25, 2024
🪵
an intuitively mindful activity that humans have been doing forever. despite its innate destruction i find myself feeling connected to the earth. some logs are harder to chop through if they have knots, even in death the tree’s commitment to self preservation is admirable.
Oct 8, 2024
🧄
moms making dinner :-)
Oct 8, 2024