we barely know what's best for ourselves. we're constantly responding to stimuli and conditioning ourselves on how to respond to future stimuli by how we respond to current ones over the course of a lifetime that by the time you meet someone and get to know them, trying to solve their problems for them is deeply infantilizing, arrogant, and ineffective in a way that is just deeply harmful to the relationship you're trying to cultivate in the first place by offering your perspective it sucks to see people you love struggling but if unsolicited, unhelpful advice is somehow a universal pet peeve that every single person has then we clearly need to learn to just be with each other as we are struggling, and learn how to be helpful when someone wants / needs us to be
Mar 27, 2024

Comments (0)

Make an account to reply.

No comments yet

Related Recs

🤸
sometimes people gotta figure shit out for themselves. they've gotta do the metamorphosis. understand their failings on a fundamental, life-gripping level. kinda evil tho? idk pondering
Feb 26, 2025
šŸ¤
it’s genuinely very hard for me to be mad at another person—unless they are genuinely being unreasonable and deliberately hurtful towards me. but even so, they usually have their own reasons everyone’s allowed to live differently and make different decisions based on how they grew up and grew into the person they are, and i think understanding how inherently different we all are from each other is actually very important—not enough people grapple with that, we don’t actually sit down and comprehend that before reacting and objecting other people i also think we need to be more comfortable with saying ā€œi understand why you think this is the case, i just don’t agree with you, and that’s totally okā€
Oct 5, 2024
ā™„ļø
I'm sure there's an actual name for this but I'm blanking on it at the moment. I try to live under the idea that we're all one being. That in everybody is a piece of me, and in me a piece of everyone else. I guess it's like an extrapolation of 'the golden rule'. But I think to myself like, if I was being ignorant, I'd want someone to have a conversation with me and help me understand where I was wrong. If I was having a bad day and was visibly frustrated in line, I'd want to have someone stop and ask me how I was doing. I think most negative people are just hurt. The longer you go without talking about what's bothering you, the more bitter you get. Most people, no matter how they're acting, change when you ask them if they're ok. Most of the time (I'll admit, there's some exceptions lol) its better to be sympathetic rather than defensive. It's easy to get heated but it takes a lot of patience to really try to understand. Stranger or not, I do my best to help rather than provoke. We've all got our bad days, but that doesn't mean we aren't deserving of compassion.
Jan 28, 2025

Top Recs from @alaiyo

recommendation image
🦄
a treatise on the attention economy - checked it out on libby and got through it over the course of a work day, a lot of really interesting social and cultural explorations about how time itself is the final frontier of hypercapitalism and what decommodification of our attention and time should look like the book starts with a story about the oldest redwood tree in oakland and how the only reason it’s still standing is bc it’s unmillable, and how being uncommercializable is essential to our survival. it ends with an exploration of alt social media platforms (mostly p2p ones) and what keeping the good parts of the social internet and rejecting the bad ones should look like all in all a super valuable read; my only nitpick with the book is that odell isn’t just charting the attention economy but also attempting to ā€œsolveā€ it and relate it back to broader concepts about labor and social organizing, but her background is in the arts which leads to some really wonderful references to drive the points home while also missing some critical racial + socioeconomic analyses that one would expect (or at least really appreciate) from the book she promises to deliver in the introduction. but this does also make the book easier to read which is good because everyone should definitely engage with what she has to say will definitely be revisiting
Mar 25, 2024
recommendation image
šŸ«“
when i tell you the first sixty seconds of this video changed my life i need you to believe me. 10/10 strongly recommend especially amidst boycotting for palestine
Mar 21, 2024