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Find the intrinsic motivation

Ok essay incoming but I’m the same way and this advice is assuming that you have tried various ways to remind yourself of things (physical notes, reminders, alarms, schedules, to-do lists, whiteboards, etc) and struggled to respond consistently to this kind of stimuli. If you’re not already reminder-maxxing I recommend seeking out the most effective method for you to be unable to ignore the reminders. Might have to change over time as you become desensitized to one kind. Once you’re seeing the reminders daily, the struggle is then acting on them. Seems obvious but sometimes when I’m struggling to complete a task or to do it regularly/form a routine, it helps to zoom in on my reasons for wanting to do it at all. Sure, running every day will make me burn fat and improve my cardiovascular health etc etc etc but sometimes for me with my neurodivergence those long term goals are too lofty and too postponable. Instead it really helps me to think about what kind of immediate reward I will get for completing a task or repeating a task—sometimes the immediate reward is just an immediate reward (“if I go for a 15 min run I’ll feel endorphin release ”) and sometimes it’s the removal of a punishing factor (“if I go for a 15 min run I’ll avoid the shame and anxiety of not doing the thing I said I was going to do today”. there’s a term for this in operant conditioning but I forget what it is). This is why for the really important stuff, I opt for a loud annoying alarm because one can only handle so much snoozing or postponing before it becomes easier to just do the thing. Another piece of advice would be to harness the initial anxiety that a reminder prompts and act on it as quickly as possible, before the anxiety turns from motivating to crippling and before you can think of excuses/justifications for avoiding rather than acting. I hope this helps! I’m far from perfect with this stuff and always having to adapt to my own ability to fall back but this has been the most consistently useful approach for me.

@whoisjillblutt

Nov 8, 2024

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make a commitment to yourself and expand upon it

idk if i have adhd or i was just raised by and around some people who do but when i feel like i have no sense of routine, i try to pick one singular thing to start doing. Something easy that i enjoy. if an every day promise to yourself to do something is too much, every other day or once a week is a great place to start. the great thing is, it doesn't even matter what that thing is. it could be to eat breakfast, go on a walk, or do a lil sun salutation when you wake up. then expand on that. ex: eat breakfast every day. then you add stretching before breakfast. then doing the dishes right after. Some ppl call this habit stacking. Doing these things with people increases your sense of connectedness or accountably too. Having a weekly or monthly event can change the feeling of the whole week leading up to it. imo the best way to change anything about your life is to focus on what you can add instead of what you need to take away. it shifts the frame of mind from shame to joy :)

@saintshithead

3d ago

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u dont have to do anything

as in if u make it a requirement of urself you might obsess over having to accomplish it and that can paralyse u, as is my experience with adhd and executive dysfunction if possible i suggest turning your brain off for a bit(use music to distract if u can) and moving kind of on instinct? wake up, make your bed, get your coffee, get your breakfast, make sure you clean the kitchen as you go and put your dishes away/wash them as soon as you finish eating, go back to your coffee and sit with it for a while to transition into the day. this is all kind of general but the point is to have casual, repetitive(everyday) tasks to slowly introduce you to a routine. i find it important to clean/pick up anything after disrupting it because clutter and messes always distract me from my thoughts and continue to nag me if left alone-making the likelihood high that ill face a shutdown due to the task becoming another extra step to face later. it also makes it easy to think just about lunch when it comes around and theres no clutter left from breakfast dont try to force anything and ask urself what you have the energy for, dont use up all ur fuel first thing in the morning and run out of steam later in the day- job hunting is a constant battle with rejection and managing your energy levels thru it all is important

@okwetuu_fish

3d ago

Top Recs from @selz

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instagram story collages + FISH flip flops ⋆𓆟⋆

only way i can stomach posting ig stories as someone who’s become socially anxious online. need the fish flops

@selz

Jan 23, 2024

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bubble skirts𓇼 ⋆｡˚ 𓆝𓇼 ⋆｡˚

hated them when i was younger, in love w them lately. i ♥︎ to pin up my straight skirts to form bubble skirts. this Blondita Shop skirt reminded me of how much i love bubble skirts !

@selz

Jan 21, 2024

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returning library books on time

dianne, the library lady is on my ass. i keep forgetting to carry them with me to campus but to be fair its always models, 1.2m x 0.9m pieces of cardboard, and a toolbox in my arms, walking uphill in cape town’s sinister windy conditions😞

@selz

Mar 13, 2024