idk if i have adhd or i was just raised by and around some people who do but when i feel like i have no sense of routine, i try to pick one singular thing to start doing. Something easy that i enjoy.
if an every day promise to yourself to do something is too much, every other day or once a week is a great place to start. the great thing is, it doesn't even matter what that thing is. it could be to eat breakfast, go on a walk, or do a lil sun salutation when you wake up. then expand on that. ex: eat breakfast every day. then you add stretching before breakfast. then doing the dishes right after. Some ppl call this habit stacking.
Doing these things with people increases your sense of connectedness or accountably too. Having a weekly or monthly event can change the feeling of the whole week leading up to it.
imo the best way to change anything about your life is to focus on what you can add instead of what you need to take away. it shifts the frame of mind from shame to joy :)
3d ago
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as in if u make it a requirement of urself you might obsess over having to accomplish it and that can paralyse u, as is my experience with adhd and executive dysfunction
if possible i suggest turning your brain off for a bit(use music to distract if u can) and moving kind of on instinct? wake up, make your bed, get your coffee, get your breakfast, make sure you clean the kitchen as you go and put your dishes away/wash them as soon as you finish eating, go back to your coffee and sit with it for a while to transition into the day. this is all kind of general but the point is to have casual, repetitive(everyday) tasks to slowly introduce you to a routine.
i find it important to clean/pick up anything after disrupting it because clutter and messes always distract me from my thoughts and continue to nag me if left alone-making the likelihood high that ill face a shutdown due to the task becoming another extra step to face later. it also makes it easy to think just about lunch when it comes around and theres no clutter left from breakfast
dont try to force anything and ask urself what you have the energy for, dont use up all ur fuel first thing in the morning and run out of steam later in the day- job hunting is a constant battle with rejection and managing your energy levels thru it all is important
3d ago
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i relate to almost everything u said, i was unable to do anything until literally an hour before the due date. one thing iāve learned over the years is that normal advice like āmake a scheduleā and ādevelop habitsā do not work at all for adhd ppl, bc our brains are not made to do those things. this makes things difficult, but it doesnāt mean achieving our goals is impossible. here are some things that have helped me personally:
- pomodoro method (there are timers on youtube). sitting down and actually timing myself has helped me a lot. also it helps me feel better with just how fast time goes by. working very hard and getting the notification that 15 minutes has passed, helps me to remember that sometimes small steps are easier than they feel like.
- my therapist told me that instead of worrying so much about how much work i could be doing all the time, i should just work on it when i actually feel like doing it. so if i only have motivation an hour before, thatās when i would do it. the stress i used to feel a month before an assignment was due, significantly decreased bc of this new mindset, and it actually felt like my ability to do things increased. itās not a good long term solution, but when ur in a tough spot, allowing urself to sacrifice some late time in order to not feel as much mental stress is worth it for ur mental health.
- realizing that a lot of my motivation was based on what i thought would please others. i feel like this isnāt commonly talked about among ADHD circles, but once i learned about it, it kind of changed my life (fr). i realized that i couldnāt work the most productive way i could, if i was being watched or within someoneās sight. i also procrastinate a lot in order to avoid being judged by others for how slow or disorganized i work. even then, procrastinating causes me to feel more judged by others bc im scared they are thinking im being lazy. so to avoid this, i try my best to work alone or ask someone to do parallel play instead of help me directly. however, i know some ppl benefit from the opposite, having someone around to keep them accountable. it all just comes down to personal preference.
- making sure my needs are met. did i get enough sleep? have i eaten recently within the last 4 hrs? have i drank enough water? did i take my medicine? do i feel too overstimulated; if so, how can i change my environment? do i need headphones? do i need to wash my face or take a shower? do i need to change the lighting? is the temperature too hot or too cold? are my clothes too overwhelming / scratchy? these are some of the things that can keep me from working productively, so i have to keep track of these questions whenever i feel distracted.
- donāt beat urself up. giving into shame and causing urself mental distress will only increase ur anxiety and make u more unable to work. remind urself that ur just now figuring urself out and u are trying ur best. plus, u have good intentions. ur just trying to figure out how to work better and more productively! i think thats all anyone can ask for.
anyways i hope this helps maybe. everyone has a different way of getting things done, so not all things will help or apply to u (which doesnt mean somethingās wrong with u, just that the advice wasnāt meant for u!). also seeking specifically adhd related forums / groups / blogs / youtube channels / etc. helps a lot when trying to find different types of advice other than āwork harderā lol.
good luck and u r not alone! š«¶š
Mar 23, 2025
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Its cliched but it's true. I've got a bad case of scatter brain at all times. But I've found peace and progress in dedicating small, increasing increments of time to the things I am interested in. Take it one day at a time and don't beat yourself up if you miss a day or two. But try to be consistent. 10 minutes of this, 15 minutes of that. Before you know it you develop a habit that is actually good for you. It also helps me to put my phone on airplane mode and disconnect while I do these things. Just me and the interest. It's not a science and it won't happen overnight. But before you know it you'll just be sucked into rhythms of the things you want to do rather than the things that rot your brain.
May 20, 2024
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you can't convince me it's not boeing propaganda
3d ago
saw this for the first time at my local mirco cinema with a partner who was not yet a woman. it was so fun! it was the first time i heard a dyke call themselves a faggot. it was the first time i thought about wlw bdsm and the first time i considered my own relationship to "violent" sex without men. a few years later, i think i'm due for a rewatch. i remember really loving the diy construction and being jazzed by how many stl mentions there were. it seems like we had a thriving leather and bdsm culture. it's because of this film that i visited the leather museum in chicago and got to read about stl's historical bdsm conventions (amazingly called "beat me in st. louis"). history aside, it's a great flick if you love anything diy, gay, and/or 90s <3
3d ago