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dating culture

i’m rlly interested in culture writing abt the current state of dating. last week i read “why don’t people date their friends anymore?” by serena smith for dazed and “death by situationship” by magdelene j taylor for her personal substack. highly recommend both! 

@stev1ekn1cks

Mar 25, 2024

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Feminism (and its language) has been coopted by corporate interest, absorbed into the mainstream, and lost its meaning

And choice feminism turned it into a matter of individuality rather than systemic issues, while also making it essentially forbidden to critique anything and positioning any criticism as an act of internalized misogyny. As a society we also take for granted the rights women gained (not even that long ago!), and dismiss the ways less privileged women are still exploited. And when feminism became associated with “sexual empowerment“ that ultimately serves the male gaze (ex free the nipple), we reinforced the societal value of beneficial sexism, and feminism had to be sexy. Pop feminism is no longer a materialist ideology. This has all led us to the current Evie Magazine right wing trad-wife backlash…
All of that is to say that I’m here 😜🫶 lol but I actually love Sara Petersen’s Substack and through her you can discover a lot of other really amazing writers

@taterhole

Jan 15, 2025

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patriarchy & hookup culture?

ok disclaimer i don’t date men but people in my life do lol and i have a gender studies/sociology degree :) i agree with a lot of what aidanaguirre said & i also think other things at play are: - a cultural reactionary backlash to social progress for women & increased criticism of toxic masculinity and misogyny. given the norm of male entitlement to women’s affection, women raising their standardsover the years (due to feminist rhetoric) has increased some men feeling frustrated or even “incels” bc it’s “harder” to find a female partner. you see it a lot in the “sigma male” podcast world and a resurgence of “traditional family” ideology right now; all anti-female empowerment - dating app/hookup culture - i think 1) apps force split-second judgement on if someone’s attractive, and 2) hookup culture can encourage a culture of “disposability” w people we date or hookup with. this reinforces patriarchal ideals to men, which can make it harder to unlearn. (women too but that’s less related to your specific ask) the latter issue effects every gender/sexuality, but i think it’s heightened in cis het/bi guys bc their relationship to women is heavily influenced by their socialization. i rec this a lot lol but the tragedy of heterosexuality is a good read if you’re interested in contemporary issues in hetero dating from a sociological and anecdotal standpoint. ellen lamont’s research/work is great. there’s also this interesting 2023 study on men

@marxinista

Jul 4, 2024

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Top Recs from @natmat

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new yorks hottest club is pi.fyi

this place has everything: gratitude, satire, and rayne fisher-quann

@natmat

Feb 3, 2024

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wearing good underwear on regular days

i tend to save my good underwear for special days and parties and first dates. i also tend to save my stickers and expensive perfume and contact lenses for the same reason. but regular days deserve to feel good too

@natmat

Feb 10, 2025

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saying grace before a group shot

jesus if youre listening help me handle my liquor

@natmat

Feb 3, 2024

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