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Like, thanks for giving me something to obsess over & scenarios to make up, but also can you stop taking up so much of my brain space?
Jan 31, 2024
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๐ฅฐHaving a crush takes over my life!!! It becomes the main thing I think about and I also feel extremely silly. I wear nicer outfits in case I see them, and that's usually when I try out new hairstyles. I become a lot more giddy and giggly and I get so many butterflies that I lose the urge to stress eat and eat just because I'm bored. I also daydream and wonder if they like me back or if I'm overanalyzing every encounter we have.
It's so fun having a crush because it makes my life so much more interesting and exciting, but then I think about it too much a,nd I can't read or watch TV or do anything because it will all remind me of them! Do I wish I had a crush right now? Yes. When I get one, will I wish I didn't have one? Also yes.
It's so fun having a crush because it makes my life so much more interesting and exciting, but then I think about it too much a,nd I can't read or watch TV or do anything because it will all remind me of them! Do I wish I had a crush right now? Yes. When I get one, will I wish I didn't have one? Also yes.
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๐i am fully aware that i am thinking about her, and possibly, probably not the other way around. that's because she is not mine, the crush is mine!!! an important distinction: a crush is not the relationship, it is separate, however informed it may be by the actual relationship. a crush does not necessarily capture or define the woman of its desire. a crush does not concern itself with accuracy, however detailed it might be. my crush is an overgrown weed of curiosity and attention. it is my fantasy, my story to tell myself.
which is to say, it's my creation. i am behind it. though the attention and ideation is about her, i am responsible. it's important to take such responsibility, to understand i am the one generating feelings of possibility, romance, hope, butterflies, foolishness, self-consciousness, and to not only accept this responsibility, but claim ownership and to be in on it.
of course, this is my ham-fisted attempt at a semblance of control that derives from the agony and ecstasy of having no control.
which is to say, it's my creation. i am behind it. though the attention and ideation is about her, i am responsible. it's important to take such responsibility, to understand i am the one generating feelings of possibility, romance, hope, butterflies, foolishness, self-consciousness, and to not only accept this responsibility, but claim ownership and to be in on it.
of course, this is my ham-fisted attempt at a semblance of control that derives from the agony and ecstasy of having no control.
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๐keeps things interesting, gives me something to think about constantly at all hours of the day
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Steve Buscemi & ScarJo, y2k fashion, killer soundtrack, what could b better ??