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got told this this song sounds like a fish made a song underwater not knowing what music sounds like but what they think it sounds like and i agree.
Jan 30, 2024

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sincere posting look away if ur not a lovestruck fool
sometimes i look at this man with so much love in my heart it feels like butterflies again. i have best friends, of course. i love them so much and they will be in my life forever. but in these moments i’m struck with the thought “you are truly my best friend.” in past relationships, i’d try to force that feeling. now, it really does just occur to me. i get so excited for forever with him. most days, it’s not like this. most days we’re just together and there’s no stress or worry about our relationship. we’re just two people together, happy and that’s that. i am so used to this kind of love, it’s become my normal. but some days, i am struck by how in love i am and how lucky i am. the first time i realized this was forever, a part of me felt weird about that. i had to say goodbye to the part of me that loved first dates, first kisses, and the ‘will they won’t they.’ Forever was always what I was looking for, but when presented with it, I worried about never feeling that way again.
Anyway, I don’t get first date feelings now, and I’ll never kiss someone new. But this feeling is so much better. He’s asleep right now, and I cannot wait for him to wake up so I can spend another day laughing with him.
Jan 29, 2024
Jan 30, 2024