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For whatever reasons the various psychiatrists that have treated me will give, I was a reclusive child, especially when it came to my emotions. I kept parts of myself hidden from certain people, always a different kid to everyone I met. I kept this up through my adulthood and now I'm realizing how much it's barring me from experiencing my relationships deeply. I protect parts of myself, uncomfortable with their coming out in situations I'd typically hide them in. I am too good at code switching and it gets confusing figuring out when I am being truly myself around friends and family. I am trying to learn where I can crack little holes into the walls I have carved around the many parts of myself; learn to make them all coexist a bit better so I can let myself be loved wholly, not only in parts.
Oct 16, 2024
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It’s so fun; like a one woman show. The whole world is a stage!
Best enjoyed in the bathroom (not in a hot shower though, the thoughts get too intense too fast)
Or your work zoom while you’re on mute (what a rush!)
Or loudly on an empty subway platform
(Dipping the toes in psychosis)
May 5, 2025
📟
Can’t stop saying things like ““ordering an americano and a chocolatine for breakfast”” ““”washing your hands”“” ”””opting to not wear a scarf today because it’s 2 degrees””” to myself
I swear it’s like a CBT technique but better
Feb 1, 2024
