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I started one back in 2013 where every year or so (in unpredictable increments) I prank this guy I used to make out with in high school. We don’t keep in touch at all—we only make contact whenever I remember I have to prank him. Invest in the long game and get paid dividends
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This one still makes me giggle even to this day, it’s unhinged and somehow still romantic? Joke or not, I’d take and care for a love fern lol
Sep 12, 2024
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I DM a lot of people on any given week. Usually at 3AM when I’m scrolling TikTok and see a video that grabs my attention. Sometimes it’s because I want to work with them, other times it’s to say I’m a huge fan, or even to ask them on a date (I’ve only done this twice). In a world where we spend large parts of our lives online, it’s pretty cool you can almost immediately get in touch with otherwise complete strangers – makes the world feel a lot smaller and I’ve met some amazing people and favorite talent to work with this way. I just DM’d a kid who posted himself flying through New York City in the smallest propeller plane I’ve ever seen and now he’s taking me for a flight. Let’s hope I’m still alive when this comes out.
Jul 14, 2023
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He was in eighth grade; I was in sixth grade. We were in our middle school performance of Into the Woods Jr. together (I played Jack—yes I brought the house down with my rendition of Giants in the Sky—and he played the Baker). He called me Smurf because I got blue paint on my face when we were painting sets.
He was like five feet tall with a mushroom haircut and loved Bob Dylan and would sit out in front of the car drop off area in the mornings with a little handmade poster protesting the Iraq war which I was also precociously passionate about. Once we were at a sight reading competition off campus (I played viola and he was a cellist) and he pulled a foil wrapped burrito out of his pants pocket and ate it and then folded it into a plane. He was my second biggest customer for choir fundraising candybars (my biggest customer was myself I actually ended up eating basically the whole case).
Also a boy named Nick who was assigned as my stand partner in orchestra his first day as a transfer student. I accidentally jabbed him in the eye with my bow shortly after meeting him and apologized profusely, to which he said, ‘it’s okay. That’s my blind eye‘ (not a joke he had cataracts in childhood). we then grew to hate each other with every passing day and would bicker and argue constantly about our ideological opinions on random things. I got called into the principals office for bullying him after I threw paper balls at him but I assured them the conflict was mutual. He had long curly hair and carried a Che Guevara bag and was always scowling just like me 🫶 I eventually realized that I didn’t hate him; I had a crush on him and saw him as an intellectual equal. Middle school is so hard…
Pretty much every other crush I had after that was a sick depraved degenerate but I was infatuated nonetheless. in one particular case the obsession was mutual and went on for years and even across the sea and I ended up in a demented love triangle, breaking up two best friends, and ultimately being cyber stalked... Not really iconic mostly just toxic lol 💔
Oct 8, 2024
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Jan 21, 2024
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Adds delusions of grandeur and wealth to my otherwise mundane existence
Jan 21, 2024
😃
The most challenging part of breakups for me is rebuilding the infrastructure of your own life. Reconnect with the things you used to do before you started dating someone—(they might feel different and you might find they no longer work the way they used to, this is normal and okay) and find new things that help re-light the curiosity of your own life. We know so much less than we *think we do about what we might like/who we are, and breakups offer the perfect time to collect a little pile of ways/things/friends that help you feel more in touch with what you love and who you are. Gonna feel uncomfortable and weird but that means it’s working. Sending you love ❤️
Mar 16, 2024