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đşď¸
By far one of the most transformative skills Iâve learned and am learning. Too often weâre trying persuade someone to be more like us, or weâre hiding our true feelings to fit in with someone else, but not everything in life requires compromise or consensus. Sometimes you can simply say, âOh, you want something different? I hope you enjoy that! Iâm going to do something else over here.â
You can be different, have different perspectives, make different choices, and it doesnât mean you canât be friends, lovers, or partners. It just means youâre individuals!
Only by finding the borders of our differences is intimacy truly possible. Then I know where I begin and you end. Then our compatibility isnât based on sameness but the skillfulness by which we can honor each otherâs unique selves.
You can be different, have different perspectives, make different choices, and it doesnât mean you canât be friends, lovers, or partners. It just means youâre individuals!
Only by finding the borders of our differences is intimacy truly possible. Then I know where I begin and you end. Then our compatibility isnât based on sameness but the skillfulness by which we can honor each otherâs unique selves.
4d ago
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In an increasingly polarized and alienating world, I take pride in my ability to find common ground with almost anyone. My friends joke that Iâm psychicâthat I pick up on peopleâs emotions and inner lives with uncanny accuracyâbut I think itâs just a result of deep listening and genuine curiosity.
Ask people about themselves and really listen. Ask them follow-up questions. Find out what makes their hearts sing and what keeps them up at night. Youâd be surprised how much you can relate to, even in those who seem fundamentally different from you.
The human experience is universal, and at the end of the day, we only have each other.
Ask people about themselves and really listen. Ask them follow-up questions. Find out what makes their hearts sing and what keeps them up at night. Youâd be surprised how much you can relate to, even in those who seem fundamentally different from you.
The human experience is universal, and at the end of the day, we only have each other.
Feb 23, 2025
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đŤ§What's wonderful about my friends:
we get it wrong and we say sorry
we get it right and gently invite the other to join
we are imperfect, in process, seeing progress
different, carrying unique gifts, appreciating where we end and the other begins
different, carrying unique gifts, appreciating where we end and the other begins
Mar 13, 2025
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I think its beautiful that despite having beating hearts, ache, cells that divide, bleed, we have things that set us apart from the rest. Despite the fact we look for similarities when forming bonds, there will always be something to set the parties apart.
Take twins for example; the may be similar in the appearance department, but may differ to birthmark from the distance of eyes and even the slightest change of personality. Even this app for example; users can use the same emoji yet write something akin to that icon, have a reason to have chosen it among others and correlate it to a topic that resonates within them.
Maybe that's why im not very fond of the term 'there's plenty of fish in the sea'; sure there may be another tall guy if (hypothetically) my relationship came to an end, but would he be filled with fun facts? Have a love for building models, telling me things of planes and boats? Will he be gentle when he holds me in his arms, be able to turn me into putty? I don't think so.
Everyone has something that makes them tick, a passion, things that cauae a sick feeling in the pit of their stomach. We see beauty in things that others may not understand, have hobbies others may find weird, attend events that are to be obsessed over for days to come.
Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, opinions are formed from different perspectives, and no two decks of shuffled cards are alike.
Take twins for example; the may be similar in the appearance department, but may differ to birthmark from the distance of eyes and even the slightest change of personality. Even this app for example; users can use the same emoji yet write something akin to that icon, have a reason to have chosen it among others and correlate it to a topic that resonates within them.
Maybe that's why im not very fond of the term 'there's plenty of fish in the sea'; sure there may be another tall guy if (hypothetically) my relationship came to an end, but would he be filled with fun facts? Have a love for building models, telling me things of planes and boats? Will he be gentle when he holds me in his arms, be able to turn me into putty? I don't think so.
Everyone has something that makes them tick, a passion, things that cauae a sick feeling in the pit of their stomach. We see beauty in things that others may not understand, have hobbies others may find weird, attend events that are to be obsessed over for days to come.
Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, opinions are formed from different perspectives, and no two decks of shuffled cards are alike.
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đŚIâm not a parent and do not plan to be. Kids can wear me out fast with their high energy and noise level; it leaves me very over-stimulated. But itâs pretty extreme when people say they âhate kidsâ and I often feel itâs a reflection of their childhood and beliefs around how kids âshould be.â That they were expected to be quiet, obedient, and out of the way by their parents when they were little.
Itâs fucking hard to be a kid. Youâre dealing with a rapidly-changing body and underdeveloped brain, managed by flawed adults who are enforcing boundaries that you do not understand. Itâs confusing and hard to manage your feelings and honestly just a lot.
People are impatient with kids when theyâre brand new to the world and figuring it all out, and this is a time kids need a friend the most. Children can also be teachers to adults with how they are less habituated to the world. They teach us how to be free and open-hearted and silly and imaginative.
A good practice is to be kinder and gentler with kids. If that feels difficult, start with gentleness toward your inner child. Maybe thatâs the child in your life that needs your attention and kindness most.
Itâs fucking hard to be a kid. Youâre dealing with a rapidly-changing body and underdeveloped brain, managed by flawed adults who are enforcing boundaries that you do not understand. Itâs confusing and hard to manage your feelings and honestly just a lot.
People are impatient with kids when theyâre brand new to the world and figuring it all out, and this is a time kids need a friend the most. Children can also be teachers to adults with how they are less habituated to the world. They teach us how to be free and open-hearted and silly and imaginative.
A good practice is to be kinder and gentler with kids. If that feels difficult, start with gentleness toward your inner child. Maybe thatâs the child in your life that needs your attention and kindness most.
Apr 16, 2025
May 6, 2025
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I meant to post this yesterday. Absolutely beautiful morning for walk.
This morning is also beautiful but in a spring rain kind of way.
This morning is also beautiful but in a spring rain kind of way.
Mar 23, 2025