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I’d say this was when I was in third grade, let’s say 1989. My elementary school hosted the gifted ”honors“ class, as it was called. They rotated schools every semester. They were always treated and acted as though they were better than the rest of us.We had just finished our gym period and were headed back to our classroom. To do so we had to pass the school office where our teacher had us stop because she needed to run in for something or other.
Approaching our two gender segregated lines comes the single file line of honors students, being so much more sophisticatedly able to manage being in line next to the opposite gender. The teacher is leading them to wherever they are headed when just short of our two lines of kids the boy at the front of the line suddenly stops. The rest of the line comically train derails as body’s run into each other and heels are trampled. The teacher gets a couple paces ahead before she realizes the line has stopped following. She turns her head back just in time to see the line leaders eyes grow wide and he has this fish lipped look on his face. Then he throws up in front everyone. Not just any garden variety vomit. But a perfect pile of seemingly undigested spaghetti. Like this little motherfucker just swallowed a whole platter of marinara whole and redeposited it right in front of the doorway to the principal’s office.
Out came my teacher to lead us away with a disapproving side eye toward the other instructor.
Approaching our two gender segregated lines comes the single file line of honors students, being so much more sophisticatedly able to manage being in line next to the opposite gender. The teacher is leading them to wherever they are headed when just short of our two lines of kids the boy at the front of the line suddenly stops. The rest of the line comically train derails as body’s run into each other and heels are trampled. The teacher gets a couple paces ahead before she realizes the line has stopped following. She turns her head back just in time to see the line leaders eyes grow wide and he has this fish lipped look on his face. Then he throws up in front everyone. Not just any garden variety vomit. But a perfect pile of seemingly undigested spaghetti. Like this little motherfucker just swallowed a whole platter of marinara whole and redeposited it right in front of the doorway to the principal’s office.
Out came my teacher to lead us away with a disapproving side eye toward the other instructor.
Jul 16, 2025
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🤮@ERRATICCOMPENDIUM’s response reminded me…
For a while in seventh grade my more normal friends were blended with my very strange goth and emo friends; I sometimes acted as their twisted ringleader.
It was Thanksgiving lunch day in the cafeteria… some of us brought lunch packed by our parents and some of us ate the food served by the school. I had the brilliant idea to mix a piece of each item from everyone’s lunch in one of my sandwich bags. So there was a piece of my Nutella and peanut butter sandwich, a chip and whatever else was in my lunch; bits from other packed lunches; and an item from each Thanksgiving dish—a piece of turkey, a glob of gravy, a dollop of mashed potatoes, a couple of chunks of stuffing, etc.
I smashed it up in the bag into a semi-homogeneous paste and insisted that we all smell it. It went around the table to a couple of us who evidently had nostrils of steel. When it got to one friend (who happened to have the same name as me), just a whiff of the bag’s contents made her puke, and the puke accidentally got into the bag.
I told everyone they had to smell it again.
This set off a chain reaction of vomiting from several other people. Our very tall vice principal was not happy with me but he also didn’t seem to be surprised—I terrorized him often, as i had a huge crush on his very short son and hoped he would someday be my father in law. Sawdust was everywhere. I am very sorry to my school janitorial staff but it was beautiful… despite the gastric upset some of us were experiencing, we were all laughing hysterically. Thereafter, we referred to it fondly, simply as “the bag”
For a while in seventh grade my more normal friends were blended with my very strange goth and emo friends; I sometimes acted as their twisted ringleader.
It was Thanksgiving lunch day in the cafeteria… some of us brought lunch packed by our parents and some of us ate the food served by the school. I had the brilliant idea to mix a piece of each item from everyone’s lunch in one of my sandwich bags. So there was a piece of my Nutella and peanut butter sandwich, a chip and whatever else was in my lunch; bits from other packed lunches; and an item from each Thanksgiving dish—a piece of turkey, a glob of gravy, a dollop of mashed potatoes, a couple of chunks of stuffing, etc.
I smashed it up in the bag into a semi-homogeneous paste and insisted that we all smell it. It went around the table to a couple of us who evidently had nostrils of steel. When it got to one friend (who happened to have the same name as me), just a whiff of the bag’s contents made her puke, and the puke accidentally got into the bag.
I told everyone they had to smell it again.
This set off a chain reaction of vomiting from several other people. Our very tall vice principal was not happy with me but he also didn’t seem to be surprised—I terrorized him often, as i had a huge crush on his very short son and hoped he would someday be my father in law. Sawdust was everywhere. I am very sorry to my school janitorial staff but it was beautiful… despite the gastric upset some of us were experiencing, we were all laughing hysterically. Thereafter, we referred to it fondly, simply as “the bag”
Jul 16, 2025
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🦑We had an AP biology teacher who according to rumor and anecdotal observation over the years would always seat girls with the biggest chests in front (you know I was seated in the veryyyy back).
As a vegetarian I conscientiously objected to dissecting squids and he said that was fine but that he would give me an alternate activity which is standard practice. The alternate activity was that he had me clean the squid guts off of the lab tables (which were also our desks) as people sat there and had them watch in silence. He gave live commentary as I cleaned and I eventually burst into tears from the embarrassment. People were actually so sweet and came up to me later and apologized that I had to go through that and a petition went around to get him fired.
The petition was unsuccessful but he was later fired because he got caught WATCHING PORNOGRAPHY ON HIS SCHOOL COMPUTER DURING SCHOOL HOURSSSSS!!!!!!
The petition was unsuccessful but he was later fired because he got caught WATCHING PORNOGRAPHY ON HIS SCHOOL COMPUTER DURING SCHOOL HOURSSSSS!!!!!!
Apr 26, 2024
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đź“šmy freshman year of high school i went to a new school and i didnt know how to do school well bc i have learning disabilities. it was an academically rigorous traditional school and i forgot to do my homework bc i was bad at planning ahead and like generally keeping track of things. anyway like the first week of this new school i get to class and got called on about the homework and i had to say in front of the class that i forgot. this teacher was known to be an odd ball/old school and he yelled at me and sent me out of class and asked me and told me only to return when i was prepared and ready to learn. needless to say i was stunned and packed up my stuff and ran out crying. i mean i was literally like 14.
this then became the folklore everyone told new students about this teacher and it got passed down but no one realized it was me and when i became like a senior i would tell freshman and they were like that was you?!?!
anyway this teacher years later got clocked for sexual misconduct and buying kids alcohol lol
this then became the folklore everyone told new students about this teacher and it got passed down but no one realized it was me and when i became like a senior i would tell freshman and they were like that was you?!?!
anyway this teacher years later got clocked for sexual misconduct and buying kids alcohol lol
Apr 27, 2024
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To show her I was using this magnifier headset thing she gave me at Christmas. I was doing some hobby watchmaking. Since I wear glasses its hard to do a traditional loupe.
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