I grew up going to school with a lot of classmates from affluent families, where gifted and AP classes functioned as a form of soft segregation between the upper and lower classes under the guise of merit. I never felt like I fit in and I felt borderline subhuman for having a family that struggled financially and didn’t value the traditional markers of “success.”
I was always very strange and off putting with a strong sense of personal style but as I got older I felt this overwhelming desire to conform, that if I could be part of this class of strivers and networkers it would validate my inherent worth.
I didn’t realize that my values are so different from theirs and I think that was complicated by the fact that people benefit socially from co-opting progressive views to appear to be less vapid and materialistic than they are.
And it’s not about how much money people make; it’s about the attitude they have about the world and deeming people with elite credentials or certain class markers to be worth more than others. And this neurotic single minded obsession with maintaining their social status! But like actually you know what I do just hate yuppie scum and I’m never going to be like them but that’s okay because I don’t want to 🥹
