Rec
🗒️
post grad doom and gloom and sitting in your friends living room as they cook lunch and job applications and fam visiting and endings/beginnings and smoking on the balc as the sky turns dark blue,11:30pm and free bread via your friends bakery job and trying to create everyday and passion projects and guilt and despair and uncertainty and love. starving artists and council tax bands and moving flat. seeing fam twice a year maybe and your friends squeezed in between two part time jobs. double booked and trying not to burn out early. free labour on a maybe-itll-be-good project. crying every few days and scheduling a laugh in when you can.
Jun 29, 2025
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⭐home, vacation, projects, friendships, dead-end jobs you though you'd seen the last of, therapy, PI.FYI. I hear it's the season of the spiral. Let go and give in. We find the meaning in the making and the living.
I hope everyone can appreciate what has happened thus far and still look forward with some sense of fun, ease, and gratitude. happy almost end of summer
I hope everyone can appreciate what has happened thus far and still look forward with some sense of fun, ease, and gratitude. happy almost end of summer
Rec
first blog post.
not sure how this whole shablam works, but thought I'd give it a go. have the urge to write bs about my life for anyone who's listening. feel like I'm talking to myself, but I like doing that so I'm happy with whatever.
sunday
starting the day off right -- a can of chickpeas (with lime juice, garlic, and olive oil), a mandarin, and a coffee. thinking about what I want to accomplish. got a fuck tonne of schoolwork to do (it's really not that much, but it is when I spend the entire school day fucking around and wishing I was getting stuff done) might try finish some of it. got the day off work today, but clocked in for a dream shift last night so feel like I've worked overtime.
to do list
- breakfast, but you already know about that. trust me, don't knock on the chickpeas 'till you've tried them, they changed my life.
- finish stats assesement, who gives a FUCK about fat content in bread?
- maybe start my english work. should have started two weeks ago.
- start something crafty ----- I yearn to craft, but have crafters block or whatever. that's why I started a blog, I love to write. I tried writing fanfic last week, but got an essay of a hate comment that hurt my feelings. god forbid a girl try something new.
- walk my dog on the beach. this used to be a mindfulness activity for me, but I've been corrupted by podcasts and audiobooks. now I don't know how to be alone with my thoughts anymore. advice?
goals and aspirations
☆ BUY A VAN
if you know me in person you KNOW I've been annoying as FUCK about this. so basically, I really REALLY want a van. I'm looking for an old toyota hiace that someones put the bare bones of utilities in, so I could theoretically live out of it. nothing fancy, because who would I be without a project?
☆ CRAFT
another reason why I want a van -- I need something to craft for. I know how to crochet, but have nothing TO crochet. a van would give me a vessel in which to dedicate my crafts. want something to crochet? blanket for my van! sewing project? curtains for my van! cushions! a duvet! want to try your hand in some painting? good, because the inside is probably in desperate need of a revamp.
☆QUIT MY JOB
I'd written something really funny and cynical about my job here and why I want to quit, but my mum saw it & said that it was a 'sackable offense'. that'd save me the hassle of having to put in my two weeks, but I've got a reputation to uphold. also a van to pay for. guess the world just isn't ready for my comedic genius and sardonic honesty.
my 2025 resolution
make bad art. read long books.
for TOO LONG I have been afraid to do things that I'm bad at. I'm not sure what I enjoy doing or what I'm just good at doing. but this year that changes. I'm gonna make BAD art. I'm gonna write a blog, and it'll probably be shit. make the art exist and worry if it's good later. I'm going to READ that long book. I've been feeling like time is moving faster than I can run, and that I'm running out of it. I've been far too hesistant to do things slowly. but the time will pass anyway, so I'm going to stop being too afraid to use it.
SHIT POST OVER, that's a bit about me.
ft pictures of breakfast today, I reckon I'd survive the apocolypse. thanks for reading if you've made it this far :kisskiss:
May 25, 2025
Rec
🍂working from what may seem like very surface level cliches but stay w me here
((tldr: why not just believe that its all working out for the better, even if thats not what you planned? also, empathy and objectivity are a solid duo that id like to see in combination more frequently.))
putting this at the top because this is a dissertation, at best; psychosis, at the other end of the pendulum.
sooooooo the fact that u have no control over life liek At All. has been a consistently terrifying concept for FOREVER as a shorty who is Clinically a control freak, but realizing that the unpredictable essence that makes all of this shit unnerving is the very thing that can take the weight of life off of your shoulders has been pretty revolutionary.
im still digesting/integrating it one bite at a time, for sure, so call me a hypocrite ESPECIALLY if you know me personally. when in clarity, though, its been so pleasant to realize that since Nothing truly matters that much since nothing is set in stone anyway- w regard to action, approach, fulfilling temporary expectations of yourself, whether or not you reach short term goals, etc.- living life completely and utterly for yourself and whatever that means to you at any given moment will likely ultimately be the plan that brings you most fulfillment, when all is said and done.
whether that means taking the risk and changing your major, taking that freaky elective bc it sounds cool, moving in w some randos in a townhouse, quitting your job and starting something new- maybe it winds up being an epic fail, who knows? as long as youre setting goals that align with an ultimate sense of who you are and what youre looking to get out of life, which i presume can be solidified further by pursuing said experiences just for the sake of it? right? helps u figure out what u actually want? and as long as you keep bareback essential priorities straight (financial and emotional stability come to mind), then theres no reason for impermanence to work against you.
this also counts for people, as well. i feel like we hold others to critical standards, as we should, but contemporarily tend to neglect the fact that people DO change. morals/how you view the world are impacted by experience, and we are all fruits of very very different trees. completely dependent on circumstance, of course, empathy/understanding/consequential second chances are side-swept under the premise of respect/accountability. accountability is CRUCIAL, but i feel like so many of us (myself included) take that to heart and forget that figuring out how someone got to some place is a key aspect of understanding whether or not their position was truly from a place of lack of respect? if that makes any sense??
i also have been thinking about this a lot: my best friend throughout middle school and i fell out the summer before sophomore year over…nothing? idk, 3 years of seeing each other every single day (neighbors) to no contact until senior of high school- still weren’t talking regularly or anything though.
2 years ago, she turned 20. i posted an old photo of us because, despite everything, 20’s a big one. this year, we’ve spent late nights on facetime, drove to watch the sunrise after hours of catching up on god knows what on the hill where we would listen to music while her mom cooked dinner, and she’s been my go to for any necessary bitching/ranting during whats been the worst year my mental health has ever seen?? time is your friend, if you let it be. connections arent a race in any dynamic, and it’s never over if it’s truly meant to happen.
let life change. i think.
((tldr: why not just believe that its all working out for the better, even if thats not what you planned? also, empathy and objectivity are a solid duo that id like to see in combination more frequently.))
putting this at the top because this is a dissertation, at best; psychosis, at the other end of the pendulum.
sooooooo the fact that u have no control over life liek At All. has been a consistently terrifying concept for FOREVER as a shorty who is Clinically a control freak, but realizing that the unpredictable essence that makes all of this shit unnerving is the very thing that can take the weight of life off of your shoulders has been pretty revolutionary.
im still digesting/integrating it one bite at a time, for sure, so call me a hypocrite ESPECIALLY if you know me personally. when in clarity, though, its been so pleasant to realize that since Nothing truly matters that much since nothing is set in stone anyway- w regard to action, approach, fulfilling temporary expectations of yourself, whether or not you reach short term goals, etc.- living life completely and utterly for yourself and whatever that means to you at any given moment will likely ultimately be the plan that brings you most fulfillment, when all is said and done.
whether that means taking the risk and changing your major, taking that freaky elective bc it sounds cool, moving in w some randos in a townhouse, quitting your job and starting something new- maybe it winds up being an epic fail, who knows? as long as youre setting goals that align with an ultimate sense of who you are and what youre looking to get out of life, which i presume can be solidified further by pursuing said experiences just for the sake of it? right? helps u figure out what u actually want? and as long as you keep bareback essential priorities straight (financial and emotional stability come to mind), then theres no reason for impermanence to work against you.
this also counts for people, as well. i feel like we hold others to critical standards, as we should, but contemporarily tend to neglect the fact that people DO change. morals/how you view the world are impacted by experience, and we are all fruits of very very different trees. completely dependent on circumstance, of course, empathy/understanding/consequential second chances are side-swept under the premise of respect/accountability. accountability is CRUCIAL, but i feel like so many of us (myself included) take that to heart and forget that figuring out how someone got to some place is a key aspect of understanding whether or not their position was truly from a place of lack of respect? if that makes any sense??
i also have been thinking about this a lot: my best friend throughout middle school and i fell out the summer before sophomore year over…nothing? idk, 3 years of seeing each other every single day (neighbors) to no contact until senior of high school- still weren’t talking regularly or anything though.
2 years ago, she turned 20. i posted an old photo of us because, despite everything, 20’s a big one. this year, we’ve spent late nights on facetime, drove to watch the sunrise after hours of catching up on god knows what on the hill where we would listen to music while her mom cooked dinner, and she’s been my go to for any necessary bitching/ranting during whats been the worst year my mental health has ever seen?? time is your friend, if you let it be. connections arent a race in any dynamic, and it’s never over if it’s truly meant to happen.
let life change. i think.
Top Recs from @scrubland
Rec
📢Went to a gaff with apocalypse as the dress code recently. twas epic.
went to another ages ago that was ‘breaking brat’ - so people went as a breaking bad character or in brat green. Or both.
If you’ve been to a fun themed party tell me pls I’m collecting them
went to another ages ago that was ‘breaking brat’ - so people went as a breaking bad character or in brat green. Or both.
If you’ve been to a fun themed party tell me pls I’m collecting them
15h ago
Rec
got this cassette at a local shop months ago. proceeds donated. any arts collectives doing similar stuff near yall? if not why don’t you start something? get local. get communal.
Jun 28, 2025
Rec
🗒Maybe the feather a seagull dropped next to me, as it swooped down so low overhead I could feel its wings push the air around, is an offering. A gift from the universe. I worry if that’s ego. I don’t think I’m particularly lucky, though. I’d like to be. Or maybe I am. Lucky in seagull feathers and pretty shells and cooling breezes. Or in smelling the rain before it comes, or the ability to write this out. I guess everyone is lucky if they belive it. Maybe gifts from the universe are at the same time gifts to ourselves.
5d ago