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Lately I’ve been at a loss for words and it’s freaking me out
May 31, 2025

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On July 13th, I had an episode. A mental one. I completely lost it at work. No, no one caused it, I wasn't attacked, berated, crushed by some coworker or customer, (alphabetical Tripel, triple C dribble). Today, right now, I was scared it was going to happen again. It's now a new fear, and for some weird reason, I'm not scared. It feels natural.
Anxiety is apparently in most animals, used to protect oneself from predators and danger in general. It's kind of funny, humans have become so fucking spoiled, we literally have it all, and yet, my wide eyes constantly switch from time to time to time to time to time to time to time (yadda yadda).
Thought I almost lost this, I accidentally swiped down and saw my faded blurry IG filter clown face. So with that, i'll end it here, and maybe i'll write some more idk.
Jul 21, 2025
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oh brother how has it come to this!!! surely i cannot be alone when it comes to being randomly ASSAULTED with a weighted blanket of stress, due to truly nothing at all. couldn’t even tell u if i tried, yet here i am, gobsmacked, my mothers child, distraught. sutured to the couch like a mouse on a glue trap
Mar 31, 2024
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An outside observer may think I’m just chilling but please don’t mistake composure for ease, things are extremely uncertain for me right now and it‘s quite stressful
but for the past few years I honestly would have said fear—not even anxiety, outright fear…so maybe unease is at least an improvement
May 31, 2025

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