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Where were you when Tyrese Haliburton, otherwise known as "Halibooty", "Haliban", or "Hali-bin laden", ruined my night by hitting a miraculous game-tying jumper against the Knicks in Madison Square Garden? I'll tell you where I was. At Blondies Sports, a crazed, electric sport bar that calls the Upper West Side home, Haliburton made being a Knicks fan more excruciating than it already is. I didn't know what was going to happen when he dribbled down the court looking to tie the game but I knew it wasn’t going to be good. Look, the Pacers are a pest: they've been a pest since I was a very small boy, and the rivalry has propped back up in my teenage years and now adulthood. Reggie Miller once called it the Hatfield vs McCoy family rivalry --- an astute comparison --- and the incestuous nature of both of those families fit the similarities that the Knicks and the Pacers have with one another. Both teams have never won a championships in fifty years, both teams have notoriously intense fans, both teams are never the best team in the conference. It's a blood feud that is both petty and overly dramatic. The Knicks and Pacers are surprisingly here on the biggest stage, surprisingly at war. It is a better rivalry than Knicks/Celtics is, if we're being honest. That is an extension of the Boston vs New York rivalry universe, so it obviously gets a ton of media traffic, but Knicks vs Pacers is the type of blood feud that is lurking around the corner, silent until it is time to devastate you. Well, I am devastated after that game. I hate the Pacers as much as I hate police violence because police violence flourished in Indiana.
The Knicks had a fourteen point lead with two minute and fifty seconds left. They don't make leads any more comfortable than that. Mrs. Commas and I were talking about our excitement for our Memorial Day weekend trip. We had paid the bill; we stopped talking to the strangers next to us about the game. It was a sweet, sensual, exciting Knick victory.
Then, Aaron Nesmith got the magnet ball. We missed free throws because being a Knicks fan is like being Sandra Bullock's character in the beginning of Two Weeks Notice. I still don't know what happened; I'm still shell shocked from all of the three's draining, from the entire Garden going radio silent. Indiana has twisted my brain again.
It all starts with their best player, Tyrese Haliburton. He's the kid who knows that he is a cornball --- it can be powerful when you know it because you aren't striving to be anything that you aren't; in fact, you are harnessing the corniness to use it in the most inopportune moment --- and he is proud to irritate Knicks fans just like Reggie Miller did all those years prior. There is the incident with his dad when he got in Giannis's face, and there is the entire stank that radiates through his being. He is the person who does wet willies in your ear and thinks it's a fun thing to do. And, you know what sucks? Boy, he's good. A unconventional talent when the game is blending together --- just like Reggie was. In fact, he's better than Miller who was mostly a great jump-shooter. Tyrese has a slick handle, an ability to see passes where defenders haven't made their rotations yet, and long arms that allow him to be an excellent finisher. He's a load to handle. Better shooting guards, like James Harden, haven't had the playoff moments that Haliburton has had. He's a legit playoff star that might have an extra gear. All Pacers players have the look of dudes emboldened by the crazed, "farm boy basketball" state they play in, and they might have found their greatest creature yet --- a bashful, skilled star that is a present for any Knicks fans wanting a new Pacer to hate. And his teammates are scrappy and cocky too. They know who they play for; they know that a successful Indiana season is when the Knicks get beat by them.
Haliburton did Miller's infamous choke sign -- read up on that if you don't understand --- when he thought he had just beaten us, but his foot was on the line. Still, the Pacers prevailed in overtime. Haliburton is a enemy to Madison Square Garden, a thorn in the side of Knicks fans. Tyrese HaliBinLaden, welcome to the dark side. Next time, I won't pay the tab too early.
May 22, 2025
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I cannot believe the run these guys are on.
I grew up in southwest Connecticut and my grandma needed the cable package with UNIVISION and TELEMUNDO so we also got the MSG network channel. Despite me being a Miami Heat fan (coolest franchise in the league) I watched a ridiculous amount of Knicks basketball from 2011-2015. They had so many shitty teams during that run. Completely wasted Melo’s prime.
And naturally I grew to be a Knicks hater on account of the franchise being historically ass And also in my face style ass.
But I am so happy to see the run they’re having with these Villanova guys. Brunson might be the truth. He’s having his Isaiah Thomas (the young one) season. Their championship run might be loading. I don’t think they have it this year tho.
+ Hartenstein’s new tattoo sleeve is ass.
May 9, 2024
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I am a NBA boy at heart, the players who play in the Association are the greatest athletes on the planet, and everyone should check out a piece I wrote on the Knicks: https://jaysonbuford.substack.com/p/the-knicks-are-struggling-to-be-fun
But MARCH MADNESS is here. So, look, college basketball can be overly sentimental, corny, for hick Midwesterns, and it is not the smart league that the NBA is. Imagine watching Nikola Jokic or LeBron James and that not being good enough for you. NBA haters are, like, a bad financial month away from being KKK members, hiding in plain sight.
However, the NCAA Tournament objectively rules. It shows games every day, every hour, non-stop, teams that you would normally not see play, and upsets, upsets that break your bracket. Upsets happen because mid-major teams get better throughout the year, especially when they play tougher competition before the conference schedules start. It's awesome to when they pull off a shocking upset.
The games are on all day! watch them! BA BA BA BA BASKETBAKLL, GIMME GIMME GIMME THE BALL CAUSE I'M GONNA DUNK IT
Mar 20, 2025
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So, this is the time of month where you tell the wife to give you space because Jalen Brunson rolled his ankle again, this is where you fill your liver with the finest six dollar beer, four dollar beer, whatever dollar beer because your team has no shot at guarding Nikola Jokic, this is where you rip shots after an annoying loss to the Celtics where you blow a eight point fourth quarter lead, this is the time where you and your father talk hours about basketball after a terrible loss where James Harden suddenly turns into a pumpkin...
THE NBA PLAYOFFS BABY!!!!
Big storylines are as following: Can OKC finally do it? Either SGA is a foul merchant, or a silky gunner, a weapon that launch artilleries towards defenders; Is Denver ready to make a run after firing their coach in a catty way? Are the Knicks not going to ruin my life? WATCH THE NBA PLAYOFFS
Apr 19, 2025
Top Recs from @jayson
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I'm often accused of being an "old soul", a categorization I vehemently dislike because it pretends as if my taste is because of nostalgia, as opposed to what is actually cool and compelling. (If something cool comes out now, I enjoy it, but we're in a down period when it comes to culture). But, something old about me, is that I do not care at all about TikTok ending, if does happen. If Elon takes it over from the Chinese, you might as well leave anyway, but I'm just worried at why this is a huge deal for people. It's just an app. Another one will be made. TikTok is not culture, it directly flattens culture into these ten second clips that take music, movies --- things that you need to process --- into something that is now consumed by everyone at a rapid pace, not allowing for the nuances, the style, the aesthetics to sit with us.
I have never watched something on TikTok and thought that this is something in that pushing American culture to deeper heights. I am sorry. Now I am sure they're good stuff on the app, but it's not really a necessity. Whenever I hear the words "it's blowing up on TikTok", my mind immediately growls.
I understood why X becoming overrun with Elon bots and right wingers is a big deal; X actually created things, made careers, made American life, and American events available to be seen by everyone. However, TikTok is a corrupt fantasy, chopping at the wires that make physical connection important.
Read a book! Go to the movies! Go to the restaurant of a cuisine that is unheralded, go to a baseball game. Who cares about TikTok?
Jan 14, 2025
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There's something quite startling about Martin Scorsese's 1980's period compared to the rest of his decades as one of America's greatest filmmakers. In the 80's, he was weird, strange, and making weirdly manic films that feel more New York than even some of his movies about the mob. They're movies about characters who aren't glamarous people that they want to be, but rather, are losers who can't seem to correctly fucntion in normal society. They're non-violent sociopaths. I saw The King of Comedy at Metrograph recently, and it's exhilarating, hilarious, manic, and scary. With Jerry Lewis, Bobby De Niro and Sandra Bernhard, Scorsese was able to create a world where incels who are bad at comedy are wishing for fame. Sound familiar?
This is a great movie. In 1983, it was a box office flop. But in 2025, it is magical in how it's telling the future. A future of scam artists who don't want to work to get there, and don't want to sit in their mediocrity: they want to steal to get their fifteen seconds. Go watch this masterpiece.
Jan 28, 2025
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Like almost every morning, I make a big ol breakfast salad for myself. Eggs, greens, onions, tuna, spanich, olives. I never taste anything as filling as this. It's perfect. Great if you are looking for a big breakfast to hold you down during your work day. Get yourself a salad spinner; makes it easier.
Apr 29, 2025