speaking from my experience, you'll know it's real love when it inspires you to be a better person; when it supports individual growth; when it feels safe and secure; when it respects boundaries; when it chooses reality over fantasy; when it accepts imperfections; when it navigates through challenges with both compassion and reason; when it encourages honesty and authenticity; when it honors independence. rainer maria rilke puts it so beautifully, "love consists in this, that two solitudes protect and touch and greet each other."
if it does the opposite, that's not love, that's fear. i believe that love makes you see clearer and helps you make wiser decisions. i don't believe in "love makes people stupid" – no, fear does.
