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I wish I could remember all the ones I created over the years, but the first two that come to mind are shrugdealer and liongosling
Jun 3, 2024
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These were such a fixture on the early 2000s internet!!! The linked one with 179 ways was probably the most popular and widely distributed as a chain letter but I remember there being ones for specific social settings and places too. I thought they were hilarious because I was like 12 years old. They’re stupid and some are just offensive but I love the disagreeable and mildly antisocial spirit.
Remnants of a bygone so random xD era…
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1. Specify that your drive-thru order is "to go."
2. If you have a glass eye, tap on it occasionally with your pen while talking to others.
3. Start each meal by conspicuously licking all your food, and announce that this is so no one will "swipe your grub."
4. Name your dog "Dog."
5. Insist on keeping your car windshield wipers running in all weather conditions "to keep them tuned up."
6. Reply to everything someone says with "that's what you think."
7. Claim that you must always wear a bicycle helmet as part of your "astronaut training."
8. Follow a few paces behind someone, spraying everything they touch with a can of Lysol.
9. Make beeping noises when a large person backs up.
10. Do not add any inflection to the end of your sentences, producing awkward silences with the impression that you'll be saying more any moment.
Apr 17, 2025
May 21, 2024
