I know it's not cloud but it's something similar. This hard drive goes missing like every year. It's got old footage of my life in Thailand, going about our days in my home town. My dad weren't good at keeping record of me as I was getting older. I rarely have photographs of my younger self.
The videos are like vlogs (mind you my great uncle was like 70 at the time), of him visiting us and going on little adventures with every one—my 3 siblings and my dad included. They feature awkward moments like when I didn't want to be filmed or me being captured right after I was crying. I love looking at them and seeing me interact with my siblings because I don't get to do that now. I love to see me at the beach pointing out a sea cucumber and doing a demonstration for the camera.
You see, I don't have the best relationship with my dad and I moved out of home very early. So even seeing him on an old camcorder helps me to forgive him. He looks like just any other person being a dad for the first time.
I'm not quite sure why I leave it around so non-chalantly since its a very important piece of history for me. I am scared of it a little bit. Every time I do a big clean up and stumble upon it—you can find me on my laptop going through every second of it. Then it goes again into the abyss somewhere. Until we meet again.
May 13, 2025
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I remember coming across my grandmothers wedding photos once when I was a wee kid. And it’s never stopped intriguing me. It’s like they lived separate lives. I’ve only known them since I was born and it makes me curious to know who they were as individuals before me.
I stay in the storeroom of my house now, so once every few months I look through all the albums stored here… photos of my parents when they were my age, when they started dating, schooling and having fun.
It’s such a bittersweet feeling.
Feb 15, 2024
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my dad broke out the old VHS tapes
learning about myself by watching little me.
Mar 28, 2024
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I just found out last night that my 2012 MacBook Pro can no longer be upgraded past iOS 11, which means I can no longer listen to Spotify on desktop because it no longer supports anything below iOS 14.
My Laptop is a relic. She got me through all of college and was my first big purchase. She holds a charge for maybe an hour and you could honestly cook an egg on her charging brick. But she and I watched YouTube videos learning about design and cinema 4D to get through tough classes. Her light up keys click-clacked all through the night when I was writing essays in the dark. The glowing apple on her back reminds me of the back tattoo I designed for myself with her when I was learning Adobe illustrator.
She also reminds me that old things can still work, and that even though they’re not the best, sometimes don’t need to be replaced.
I’m willing to make functionality sacrifices because she is not only my laptop, but a reminder of how far I’ve come through my transition from young adult to adult-adult. She keeps my lap warm and genuinely makes me happy to use.
Humans are conditioned to favor convenience, but how important is that when it’s weighed against our hardwired sentimental nature and drive to love?
In loving her I am appreciating myself in ways that I could only ever do indirectly. I am proud that she continues to work and boot up every day, just like I am of me.
Dec 20, 2024
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Yeah so I signed up to do kiwi fruit tasting for $70. It‘s a one hour session.
Oh to be a student.
May 11, 2025
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I fear we've become socially paralysed online. Be perceived and do the perceiving. The internet that you want to live in starts with you.
Apr 27, 2025
Apr 23, 2025