i am still learning this. i try to be an extremely forgiving person (sometimes i struggle); it’s a huge value for me and i don’t want to give that up but i’m still learning how to balance it with boundaries and distance when i need those because i have sometimes been too lax! i keep reminding myself that it’s possible to forgive someone from afar and acknowledge my own feelings/pain even when i understand their situation was not ideal
May 12, 2025
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this was good to read. whenever im on autopilot mode i tend to think of things being on a black and white card. its no good being an absolutist in that regard, no consideration for the person or whatever situation we were in. i would like to see myself have the strength to have the forethought to forgive myself and people.
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i have been in situations where it felt like i needed to be the better person for others to think im not hurt. times when i needed to be around people who hurt me really bad in life.
what i learned from that is, some people will never do you dirty again. others will 😂 and when i catch who will hurt me again, i keep them at a distance and don’t invest energy into maintaining anything.
forgiveness should not be guaranteed, and its difficult to have people come in your ear to say you need to forgive in order to move on. no you need ti just set boundaries around people who hurt you and move forward with it. there are so many people back in my college days where mutually things were so bad. will i apologize and forgive them? probably not ill just distance myself from those people and they become an afterthought.
Mar 9, 2025
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first things first: u never have to forgive someone if u don’t want to. sometimes there is no reason to not move on from a situation, but that’s still your right. you should take all the time u need to make peace with urself and what happened.
my dad once told me that the worst thing you can do to urself is to wish someone else ill will. giving ur energy and thoughts to a situation or person in a way that doesn’t help you process what happened, but only serves to make u upset, is a disservice to urself and ur time. u deserve to be happy and u deserve peace.
look of it as a way of letting go of the negative thoughts and emotions that that situation causes u. forgiving someone doesn’t necessarily mean ur justifying what they did, but instead respecting ur right to be happy. u can forgive someone and still not continue that relationship with them. seeing forgiveness as a way to allow urself to grow past a situation and not define urself by it, instead of as a mandatory ritual after someone has wronged you, has helped me to move past people and situations that have hurt me and kept me from growing.
Mar 8, 2025
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some people do things that are truly unforgivable and only time will heal the pain that those things caused because with time comes memory loss.
for the petty things, they usually don’t know or care that they’re not forgiven and holding onto the thing they did only hurts you because you’re reliving what they did and they probably aren’t.
i’ve forgiven a lot of people for shitty things they’ve done, that doesn’t mean i’ll ever speak to them again. forgiving isn’t always making up with the person, it’s making mental peace with the issue.
Mar 8, 2025
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