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i used to think that i could one day solve all the personal issues that were holding me back from my phantasmic idea of happiness and once i reached the top of that hill i would live forever; bathing, figuratively, in morning light from a kitchen window, a purring cat by my side and no dishes in the sink, and now i see my life stretching out, beyond that calm august day and into the sludgy, dark evening commute of an eventual february and back, and i see that my life is not a problem to be solved but a state of constant movement, two steps forward and one step back in perpetuity. my joy will be lost and found over again with the swing of that pendulum
May 4, 2025
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i feel like each of us lives an alternate reality from one another where we can either align or experience different feelings at different times. good and bad are perspectives on life events (internal or external) that fluctuate across time. in this way we can’t generalize life as one thing. we move through the ‘motions.
will be pondering this…
Feb 19, 2024
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The world is electric, sad, crazy, pretty, lost, exciting, needy, spinning, wtf now. But I want to be completely unafraid to live every day. The girl who still sings funny lyrics, cries when she sees a flapping pigeon trying to escape, longs for the things her Maker has wired her for, the girl who chases after weird rabbit holes that she thinks are cute, has NO idea how things will turn out the next day, the passion that turns her hot and cold, the girl who thinks through everything but also effing go like, I should have gone on that boat.
I really should have. Because life.
Aug 21, 2024
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i often see people flip their hats over not finding a proper purpose or meaning within the confines of life. understandably so, its an open ended carnie game. there’s no definitive strategy to battle whatever danger spikes at throws at you, but ive found the best way of dealing with it is to actively pursue it. engage with it, savor it, and ultimately, melt into it’s many pores. you’re all wonderful nutrients that life craves. you all will always be capsules of life forever longing for itself.
May 16, 2025
Top Recs from @eatgraeps
they really have this whole life thing figured out
5d ago
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i may have spent a sinister amount of time here today but better with you folk than in the wild west of short form video content….
4d ago
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i have 200,000 plays on soundcloud because i made an ambient track when i was 15 and clickbait titled it "sex noises". dozens of comments going "wheres the sex". what a strange impact to have made on the world and i am locked out of the account forever
May 16, 2025