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is a wonderful listen while you fold laundry, do the dishes, or sit outside.
Felt better about the world after listening.
I really related to the part when he said “we withhold ourselves from talking to strangers, or asking people to hang out with us, because we're afraid that we might be boring to them. We're afraid that we might disappoint ourselves by being in that conversation and seeing other people react negatively to us”.
The whole idea that we are not necessarily lonely but are choosing to be alone is super true I think. Its like we know whats good for us but we still choose otherwise. Theres some interesting points on media consumption and personal politics, the whole “local” vs “focal” thing puts it all into perspective on why sides are so polarizing now it seems.
AI companions are wild.
But leaves us with “It just changes the next 15 minutes. But life is just one 15-minute block of time after another. The way we spend our minutes is the way we spend our life.”
Talk to a stranger today or tomorrow, call someone instead of texting, make some plans to just run errands with a friend. it doesn't matter what it is, but its about doing it and that will make you feel something.
Apr 15, 2025
Related Recs
From the Atlantic: ”There is no statistical record of any other period in U.S. history when people have spent more time on their own.”
I don’t know anything about you—how funny is that? I couldn’t even begin to guess what your life looks like. I couldn’t spot you in a crowd. If I were a friend, I’m sure I could give better advice. Perhaps suggest joining a local group I know of, or a class at the gym that always puts me in a good mood. Perhaps introduce you to someone I’ve always thought you’d get along with.
The beautiful thing about the internet is that you can ask this question to the void and the void speaks back. It’s so much easier this way, but so much worse.
Geography, family, shared interests, shared labor. Community used to be inescapable. We still depend on each other for everything, but we do it all at a distance. I’ll chat for an hour with a friend across the country, but I know nothing about the people across the street. It’s a selling point if the grocer can name the farmer who grew your food. I could have been writing this to send to a distant family member, who I want to reconnect with, or an old friend—instead I’m writing to you, a stranger. It’s easier. Our community ties have been broken.
So: what do you, an individual, do? You may find more success if you develop individual friendships tied to a place—several articles about the loneliness epidemic talk about the gym—or a group that meets regularly. Apparently, the best way to beak down peoples’ walls is just to see them constantly. This is true for new friends and for deepening relationships. For those friends and acquaintances you’d like to be closer to, keep inviting them to shit. Set your boundaries, but keep trying. The thing about people is that everybody is interesting and confusing and stupid and wise and mean and wonderful—but it’s safer to spill all that on the internet, where no one can spot you in a crowd. Let people know that you’re around and interested no matter what, and see what happens. It will take a long time, but it’ll be worth it. Not just for you, but for them. For everyone, if we all put the effort in.
I’m sorry—it shouldn’t be this way. But we have to try. We’re all counting on each other <3
Apr 23, 2024
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You have to force yourself to tackle the hard thing, whatever that means to you. Because the more difficult thing, it’s probably the right thing, or the thing your life needs. I think for me, the hard thing was to submerge myself into genuine solitude. And I’m not talking about like, My Year of Rest and Relaxation or Leaving Las Vegas type solitude… And I am definitely not talking about anything related to the type of seclusion that came with quarantine. The objective here isn’t to isolate yourself to the point of total deterioration or to reject the people who love you. It’s about stomaching the feelings of loneliness that come with deep personal reflection. It’s about enduring the self-imposed boredom that comes with getting to know yourself without any external influence. It’s not about being physically alone (though it is a part of it), it’s just about finding ways to be alone with yourself and who you are, the good and the bad, and really admitting to the bad. And then, what was at first so uncomfortable and sort of embarrassing to undertake will eventually become easy-normal. Everything outside of your solitude becomes so peripheral it’s hard to remember when you existed right in the center of it all. And some people, the ones who really do buy into their socio-infallibility, will probably, yeah, consider you some misanthropic outcast! But, what my friend and I like to joke about as being misanthropy is actually just self-awareness and conviction, and belief in the improvability of everything that is or can be wrong with oneself or others... The world feels constantly disappointing, and people are disappointing, and you’re disappointing, and I am definitely disappointing… But all of that can be improved upon and then improved even more, and more and more… But you can’t improve anything about yourself until you know what it is that needs improving. And even then, knowing is only the first step, knowing doesn’t mean anything if you don’t do something about it. So if any of this applies to you, maybe think about it, do something about it. Leave, find solitude, change what needs to be changed, even if it’s really, really, hard to do that. And most importantly… embrace your cynicism in positive ways instead of in ways that honestly just fucking suck!
Oct 13, 2022
😃
First thing is that being alone is not just ok but the best thing ever, you get to discover yourself :
- Hobbies you like reading/ drawing/playing guitar/watching documentaries/hiking/cycling/etc…
- Setting boundaries : when you are alone you will tend to get know yourself more, what do you like in people, what behaviours you don’t like, respecting your own time, etc…
- Self development: switching careers, studying something new, learning a language, etc…
How to be okay with it ? first thing to do is to try it, don’t over think it, just do it, being alone doesn’t mean being lonely at all.
Besides wasting money, think of your energy, being burnt out could be a result of your energy being drained by people, it doesn’t mean that the people you hang out are bad but your inner self might need to just sit in silence, even going to a coffeeshop alone sitting with your headphones on while reading/crafting/sketching or even just watching tiktok could be helpful to reset the energy.
Jan 11, 2025
Top Recs from @blueboy
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My little guy just cannon balled a swamp, barked at the wind and ate a branch. He is so happy.
Apr 13, 2025
makes driving silly and fun, the act of getting close enough to read them but not rear ending them is also a rush so be careful. these are a few I have been able to snap but I have seen some very creative ones
Apr 16, 2025
Apr 16, 2025