🌴
im never more offline than when im commuting. it does get unpleasant, but i have no real alternatives so i stay. i stay with the noise, the waiting, the elbows, the heat. but theres also something in that pocket of time that feels like a sort of gift ? like the city letting you in on something, if youre willing to sit with it long enough. not rly silence bc manila rarely allows for that lol but a kind of stillness that moves alongside the chaos. the kind that doesnt ask for attention, but rewards it
for months i kept noticing these lines along edsa: crescent-shaped shadows on white walls, like soft brushstrokes. id wonder what caused them but theyd slip out of view and something else would take their place: pillows soaking up the morning sun on rooftops, a deflated nemo balloon tangled in trees. and id wonder about those instead. the lines werent a mystery i carried constantly, they just became familiar questions i greeted whenever they returned
one windy afternoon i watched the plants outside the mrt dance - rooted in place, their bodies bent in the only directions they could, in arcs so well rehearsed theyre almost muscle memory. each gust of wind sends them brushing against the wall, over and over, gently eroding the white paint. time passing in small, invisible repetitions. the plants were paintingÂ
i later traced the area on my favourite archive google maps haha and slid back through time. i found a coconut tree. in older images when the tree was younger and its leaves hung lower i could see how it once touched the wall. the tree had grown since then, its reach no longer the same. but the marks remained, like a growth chart. a timeline written in strokes only the wind could carry
i think about these lines often, how the body can grow taller and further away but the places it once brushed against can still remember. i try to hold the same feeling in my ceramic practice: a mindful documentation of the in betweens, the soft evidence of something passing through. in that stillness theres something lasting, something that can be held in the hands long after its made. a way of saying: we were here once. and we danced
Related Recs
🌄
I have many Ideas. I ponder over them like an obsessive collector; organizing, re-organizing, packing them into words so the meaning is captured, transferable. Most of my transformative experiences are unexplainable - how does one capture the depth of a still, silent night? The whispering of leaves in warm summer breezes. Vague feelings of wholism while sitting in the grass, photosynthesizing like plant ancestors - a fish swims without direction. Many call it god but the church is alienating; the word massacred and butchered beyond the recognition of what it once meant.
One idea I have kept unmolested by the opinions of others, is that these holistic experiences in nature, with friends, live music shows, where the pulse of life beats strongly, are everything. An anchor point for a life well lived. It’s not enough to just be in nature, alchemizing the circumstance missing the key ingredient. A couple of friends and I went on a trip to where the ocean went on forever, unbroken horizon. We were down by the water, sunset and glistening, warmth of the sun and sand beneath my feet. But it was nothing more than looking. I did not have access to this other way of being - locked out, truthfully, by being eaten alive by the stress of exams and stewing in the feelings of being unlovable. It is somehow within you; the trees and ocean reflect it back to me. A quality of self brought out by sincerity and solitude. It’s everything, reflected in everything worthwhile.
Apr 17, 2024
🌀
oh, whAt a joy it is to feel lonEly, to wade through the quiet and search for a way out. i walk the beaCh, take the long way home, stretch time so my roOm stays empty a little longer. i sit on benChes, watch strangers paSs, ask the barista about their daY, the elderly man about his doG whom i see every day. i speAk to those beside me on the metro, stealing mOments, borrowing warmth, as if a few seConds of their time could soften the weight of mine.
when you’re loNely long enough, you learn to find peAce in the noise—the rhythM of streets, the choreographed steps of commuters, the birds scribbling shaPes across the sky. you notice the collage of patched pavEments. this city is so loud — i am still leaRning how to be alOne.
Feb 22, 2025
🚿
I find myself lingering, in front of the sun drenched window feeling my body glow gold in the languid warmth, under the sweet shade of a magnolia flower - encumbered by its beauty - in the shower for just a bit too long, pittering pattering weaving in and out thoughts that circle and circle endlessly until they scatter away like the little drops jumping off of my arms in a free fall. I don't leave until the water has its fill of me.
There's a clock inside, or not a clock, a phrase or phase that sets the motion of each act. I try to hold every moment as long as possible or it slips away. why is life so fleeting? The more I do the less there is.
Less flyaway cast shadows that peer off of my body, the obstruction basking in a heated glow. Less time for my thoughts to finish their race and half jog back exhausted but satisfied. Satisfied. Am i satisfied?
Apr 16, 2024
Top Recs from @becoming
i dont know how i managed to field interstellar for more than a decade but today i decided i was finally going to see it. i didnt feel like holding my phone up for 3 hours and it was too hot in the living room (heat index today 41C wtf) so i went to the next best screen: the tv in my parents room. my dad was already in bed, cooling off after lunch. i climbed in beside him and put the film on, ignoring his half hearted protest that he wanted to nap lol i wanted to watch interstellar, he just happened to be there
and then an old murph said she knew cooper would come back "because my dad promised me" and i realised i was holding my dads hand, time folding in on itself
and i thought oh, maybe this is why i never saw this film before. maybe it was orbiting me all these years, waiting for this version of me, this version of my dad, this version of life where i could sit beside him, feeling the weight of a hot, humid manila summer, and the quiet gratitude of a moment finally arriving
Apr 8, 2025
making the most out of the beautiful sun we've been getting !
rly need to heal my productivity trauma bc the last time i printed on rocks was two whole years ago and the only reason i did this today was bc i had leftover solution from the cyanotype class i taught this morning 🥲 vowing to make more personal prints and to experiment more this season!!!!!
Mar 16, 2025
how beautiful is life that we get to hang out w friends and share a meal w them and i couldnt reach the pianggang so A scooped up some chicken and sauce to put on my plate that was hovering over the rest of our food hahaha
and wow palm grill!!! authentic southern mindanaoan cuisine!!!!! loml
Mar 26, 2025