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do you really need to go see the minecraft movie? you know it’s bad. like, not even bad-but-redeemably-funny. it’s uninspired product placement propped up by celebrity and strung together by a plot just coherent enough to present the references that rile up the fans. you know the memes already, you’re not missing out on some cultural moment because you didn’t see the rest of the hour-and-a-half around Jack Black saying “chicken jockey.” if you like minecraft that much (and I love minecraft), maybe you gather your friends for a LAN server night instead of paying for a ticket and putting a body in a seat and giving even a modicum of validation to the corporate film studio executive’s intuition that the masses are content to consume high production value slop from a media trough. start a realm, get blown up by a creeper, fight the ender dragon, listen to one of the best video game soundtracks of all time. don’t spend $30+ on tickets and drinks and snacks to sit in a theater and watch something you will not enjoy. in this economy, the most valuable things we have are our time, attention, and connections. don’t squander these things on a piece of media designed only to profit from a sentimental attachment to a game which provides a complete and much richer experience in and of itself.
Apr 7, 2025

Comments (14)

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While I do agree with your disdain for the corporate movie machine, is choosing not to see the movie really the answer? In choosing to let a big movie like the Minecraft movie flop, are we sending signals to corporate that not even brands are profitable at the movies? I’d much rather go see a well thought out unique film sure, but wouldn't you rather theaters stay alive instead of proving your point, and seeing movies move to streaming?
Apr 8, 2025
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@THEREALSAMB13 there’s plenty of movies I go see in theaters, i’ll give my money to those happily. I’m totally fine telling hollywood to stop making brand movies I feel like they flop more than they hit. there some exceptions for sure tho.
Apr 8, 2025
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Bro jus mad cause he don’t got a Sharpness V Unbreaking III netherite sword on him
Apr 8, 2025
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@WAKEUPLMD I do it’s just in my other chest
Apr 8, 2025
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im glad the movie is just doing its own thing instead of trying to be the "definitive" minecraft movie, it kinda lets the community to aspire to keep making cool stuff. I still think the movie is incredible considering ive been a Minecraft nerd for years and have noticed things most people havent
Apr 7, 2025
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they’re turning all the video games and toys into movies, and the majority of new plays/musicals on bway 25-26 are based on movies, and bad literature (eg colleen hoover) are increasingly being made into shows and movies, and so little is truly original these days
Apr 7, 2025
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idk i saw it and was definitely a movie for kids but its not like a horrible slop fest. i do think the theater experience enhanced it though.
Apr 7, 2025
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@ATHENA my only thing with the kids movie defense is that we have great kids movies! Pixar has tons, Ghibli has tons, Dreamworks makes tons. saying that a kids movie doesn’t need to be held to an expectation of at least being decent and made in good faith sets the bar low and studios are fine with cranking out movies if audiences are fine with the bar that low.
Apr 7, 2025
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Honestly I don't care if its the worst movie I ever see I've been waiting for this movie since I was 8 back in 2014.
Apr 7, 2025
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@MILDUDE see at your own discretion but don’t get bummed when it’s not great
Apr 7, 2025
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Great take. I hadn‘t thought of this, just knew it left a bad taste in my mouth (even though Jack Black rules).
Apr 7, 2025
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@PERSIMMONS jack black is cool but paying him to be in a movie and just being like “do the jack black thing” isn’t doing him any favors in terms of making his performance any better
Apr 7, 2025
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"i'm just doing [x] as a bit," said every person doing [x]
Apr 7, 2025
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@DOTMATRICES a bit for whom? playing oneself for a fool, methinks.
Apr 7, 2025
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🗣🗣🗣 first we mine, then we craft, let's minecraft !!!!!! peak cinema, I was expecting funny bad but I feel like it didn't take itself seriously at all which just made it funny to me and my boyfriend best $7.50 I spent in a while
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I watched it the other way and it was a really weird movie. I don't know if I recommend it was just mediocre in some areas. It felt like how the Fnaf and Mario felt for me. For a movie made by Jared Hess I was expecting something more entertaining but I guess he's dissolved into having jokes and pacing to that of an MCU film.
Apr 8, 2025
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it was a tough battle between this and ready player one but at the end of the day this movie is the single worst theater experience i’ve ever had. so, so, *so* stupid, but *so* convinced of its own cleverness and profundity. zack snyder is such an instinctually fascist filmmaker but he‘s too fucking stupid to weave his savage impulses into a coherent worldview, so everything he makes is just two hours of The Most Serious Guys In the World doing their best punisher impression while saying the dumbest shit you’ve ever heard in your life. i had seen bad movies before this, but i had never seen a movie in theaters that was bad enough that it was able to totally overwhelm the natural aura bonus a film gets from being screened in one. was a valuable flashpoint in my cultural development and maybe fundamentally shattered any interest i had in superhero movies until into the spiderverse
Apr 5, 2025

Top Recs from @royallmonarch

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just sit still and listen. drink it in.
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I consume a lot of music regularly, and a huge part of keeping a fresh diet of new listens going is having enough sources of recommendations that aren’t an algorithm that either 1) reinforces your existing listening patterns, keeping you stagnant in your tastes, or 2) platforms whoever paid enough to push their product to the top, serving you something that may not inherently be of inferior quality, but may not align with your tastes, may not be exciting beyond just being a new release, and realigns your current listening habits to be more in line with what the average user on the platform is also listening to — which socially might have benefits but which creates a homogeneity of consumption that can become bland since you’re listening to something really just because it’s the next product on the assembly line to have its public moment and not because anything about the music actually captured your attention. the current landscape of streaming is designed to keep you at an all you can eat buffet where you take what’s served to you, and as a result a lot of us have forgotten how to look at a menu and order. so what does taking a more active role in your own music curation look like? for me, it’s meant not using streaming as a primary listening platform. I mostly use my local Apple Music library on my phone that I curate with the vestigial iTunes Library framework that’s still a part of Apple Music on my laptop. probably going to find an alternative soon since apple seems to be cutting integration progressively. I like this method because it forces me to choose what to sync to the limited storage space I have, forcing me to take inventory of what I actually listen to and what I can offload. the files I get are mostly from Bandcamp or Soulseek depending on whether it’s available for purchase or entirely unavailable online (as is the case for a lot of electronic music that was on vinyl only, which is where soulseek comes in clutch). I also have freedom here to change the ID3 tags to better sort and organize, rate, change track info, and track my own listening data. Bandcamp and other music purchasing platforms are great because 1) it reshapes my relationship to music away from consumerism and back towards curation. I have to pay actual money for this thing now if I want to use it, so i’m forced to consider its value (usually i’ll stream a release first to gauge my interest). 2) having to spend money helps me to course out my meals so to speak, as i’ll buy a few releases i’ve accumulated in my cart over the month and cash out on Bandcamp Friday when 100% of my money is actually getting to the artist (TOMORROW IS BANDCAMP FRIDAY BTW!!!), and between purchases I can actually chew and savor and digest my last orders, they don’t get swept up in the deluge of new releases. my plate is full until i’m done and then I order more. also for the times of the year like now when new music isn’t coming out as regularly I take time to find older music that I would normally overlook while keeping up with new drops. currently very into early 80s/late 70s music with early digital production, kinda stuff that would evolve into synthpop and dance music. so how do you know what to order? for me, I’m getting recs through trusted curation platforms. whether it’s bandcamp daily, y’all lovely folks here on PI.FYI, friends, or most importantly musicians who I follow on socials that share their tastes through posts, stories, playlists on steaming, interviews, etc. I like this last one especially because it’s kind of like a musical game of telephone. if I like an artist and they share their interests and influences it’s like every layer in this process is stretching my palate further from the sound that I was originally interested in and into a new territory that has some shared DNA but would never have been recommended to me by an algo because there’s no shared category or label between them, only the musical influence and interpretation of it made by the artist. as an example, I was a huge Skrillex stan, he signed KOAN Sound to his label, they collab with Asa who collabs with Sorrow, Sorrow takes huge influence from Burial, Burial makes some ambient adjacent stuff and takes huge influence from 90s rave music and drum and bass and 2000s rnb, now i’m listening to Brandy - All in Me, William Basinski, Aphex Twin, none on whom would get recommended by Spotify to me from Scary Monsters and Nice Sprites. LAST thing i’ll say — because in yappin about this i’m realizing how actually passionate about this subject I am: MAKE LISTS! playlists are cool, but they can flatten your music into vague categories of “vibes” and “aesthetics” and encourage picking one-off songs from artists that you never form an active audience relationship with. I make a practice of making my own year end lists of top 25 albums (plus some honorable recs and top individual songs) and keeping them in a notes doc that I regularly update and rearrange over the course of the year. this forces me to consider the actual relationship i’m forming with what i’ve ordered for myself. did I like it in the moment but it didn’t have staying power? is it slowly growing on me? it also encourages taking albums as a whole. maybe I liked one or two tracks a lot but the rest wasn't resonating. that’s ok! maybe I rank it lower but now i’ve actually taken time to consider it, it’s in my library, and maybe (quite a few cases for me) something I ranked like bottom 5 albums becomes a retroactive favorite from that year as my tastes evolve. also 25 albums to take with me from each year is really more than you'd think, i struggle sometimes to even find 25 that I formed a true connection with. I think the biggest thing the itunes era ruined that led into now is the single-ification of music, the ability to separate the hits from the deep cuts. albums are meant to be taken as a whole, and then once you've really sat with the whole you can find what actually stuck. even then I like to keep the whole around because soooo often i’ll write off a track that yeeeears later I come to love. trust the artist, they made it like they did for a reason. aaannyyyywayy TLDR: get recs organically, be more active in deciding your listening patterns, fr*cken pay artists yall, trust the artist embrace the album, really consider what you consume
Feb 29, 2024