Rec | GENUINELY SO FUCKING TIRED OF BEING THE ONE TO ALWAYS INI...

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Genuinely so fucking tired of being the one to always initiate everything...

It's a long rant so tldr; I am too fucking lonely. I feel like crying right now but I haven't been able to cry for the past two years... Every single time I have to be the one to take the initiative yet no one ever asks me out.... Everytime I hang out with someone, they tell me that they loved being with me but like, can't you ask me out too? I make further plans but no one ever reaches out again. If they don't like me, can't they just tell me straight up? I know I can be overbearing so I keep the words to minimum. I always blend my words to match everyone's humor. I just feel so fucking lonely. I always check up on everyone but no one does it for me. I've never had a single person ask me if I'm doing good and ask me to go out with them to talk and shit... I do it. I do it with everyone. I live so far away from everyone and I can travel for an hour to help anyone out but not a single person does that for me... I love to help everyone out and it doesn't really matter much if no one returns the help because I know I'm crying rn but I'll bounce back in a few days and I'll continue doing what I do, but I can't help but feel disappointed.

Mar 27, 2025

Comments (8)

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im so sorry :-( this truly is the worst feeling to have and you definitely deserve friends who prioritize you the same amount that you prioritize them. the people who are meant to stick by you will definitely find you soon! manifesting for you🥺❤️🫂

May 7, 2025

@GOBIMANCHU thank you ❤️

May 7, 2025

I’m with you. I have always been the initiator in many of my relationships and I always found it hurtful or tiresome. Fortunately, I’ve been able to find people who reciprocate (maybe on a different timeline than me but they won’t forget me) and I’ve also just let some relationships go that weren’t a good dynamic for me. You might find this helpful! My partner shared it with me when I was having some difficult feels in some relationships in my life and it gave me a new perspective. https://www.patreon.com/posts/23712604?utm_campaign=postshare_fan

Mar 27, 2025

@ZENLIKEME This is such a good piece to share for this!! I just read it and it really helped me too

May 7, 2025

does it matter who reaches out first? tho it does feel comforting to be shown care and thought from others, life also feels too short to worry about such things. being the one to reach out first may seem or feel shameless but closing yourself off instead of extending a hand outward only hurts your relationships in the end. people- maybe ur friends- are going thru stressful times and are paralysing themselves to only focus inward to try and resolve their issues instead of relying on external help. if its a defining factor in your relationship that youre the only one reaching out and thats a source of pain for you, then bring it up to them that you feel so and try to talk things out. shutting down doesnt help anything and is just a band-aid solution for protecting yourself, hopefully that doesnt sound rude but basically be kind to yourself so you can be kind to others✨

Mar 27, 2025

@OKWETUU_FISH I totally agree with everything you said. I was just too emotional at that time and I wanted to rant about it. I was upset enough that I cried for a few seconds. I haven't cried that long in years so you can understand just how messed up I actually was.

Mar 27, 2025

sending virtual hugs,, also I’m right here if you wanna be friends or ever wanna rant - I’ve also gone through this with my own friends to the extent that no one reached out to me for a year ( I’m sorry about writing about myself here) but I promise things get better!!! give it time you’ll meet more genuine people- who genuinely care, I promise !! till then I’m right here

Mar 27, 2025

@SUPRIYAANN thank you so much Supriya! Its totally alright for you to talk about yourself as well haha. I just had one of those super vulnerable moments and I was extremely upset and messed up. Writing it down here helped me sort myself out and then I went ahead and finished a personal project i had been putting off for more than a year haha. I appreciate your support and just know that I'm here as well if you ever need it

Mar 27, 2025

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