when I was 18 I got dumped HORRIFICALLY and I moved to New York for a summer because I couldn't bear to be in London where I might bump into her. The relationship was super codependent so I hadn't been by myself basically since I was 15. I was terrified of being alone because I didn't want to be sad, and I wouldn't have anything to distract me, but it ended up turning me into someone who values my alone time so much more now.
You are supposed to go for walks in nature I think but I would spend days of my life just walking up and down Manhattan. For post-breakup solitude training you should do both:
1. Headphones walking in city. Pick whatever song you need to hear, but something that has big emotional payoff, and lipsync very obviously. No one walking past you will notice and it feels illicit and liberating. Practice your aloneness by going into shops (you don't have to spend any money) and interacting with people by yourself.
2. Nature walking by yourself. Rawdog it - no headphones, map, whatever. Just roam. I do this on the heath when I have Big Thinking to do. It's nowhere near as boring as you're worried it might be because you are busy trying to calm your anxiety and then your mind is able to wander to interesting thoughts.
I think it's the best way to practice being alone. Just roam!
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This is my #1 absolute all time favorite activity. If you have approximately 2 hours (ideally in early fall or early spring) with nothing in particular to do, take a walk around the city with no destination in mind and see what happens. Maybe you’ll make eye contact for a moment with an attractive person in the crosswalk on 17th and 3rd and see your entire lifetime together flash before your eyes. Or you could catch a glimpse of yourself in the reflection of a Chase bank and remember that you are indeed a person who is alive and on planet earth. Maybe you get an overpriced coffee for some human interaction, drink 2 sips and throw it out while feeling bad about yourself. However you choose to spend that time, it’s yours to waste, and a way to experience the city without the errands and dramas one usually faces in New York. And it’s a great way to hyperfixate on a guilty pleasure song. Recommended tracks for this activity: “Bittersweet Symphony” by the Verve or “I Had a Dream That You Were Mine” by Hamilton Leithauser and Rostam.
Dec 29, 2022
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overthinking? go on a walk. worried about your future? go on a walk. tummy hurting? go on a walk.
Dec 2, 2024
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very much raw dogging the world, but it’s nice to just tap into the sounds of nature and the life around you. Also, it helps to just think and process things without added stimulations
May 4, 2024
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one night stand or future spouse nothing beats the anticipation.... the build...... the mystery revealed.....
Jul 23, 2024
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builds character
Apr 2, 2024
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the old-fashioned way, like you would before the entire internet was monopolised into basically three conglomerates. why would you spend all your time on your computer swapping between instagram tiktok youtube pinterest when you could find some of the coolest websites you've never heard about learning information your algorithm would never feed to you!!!!
a good place to start is your favourite artist's websites (not just musicians!) sometimes they have blogs (especially if they're writers) and often they link websites they like.
I also like magazine websites - the face, angel food, hot literati
or craigslist missed connections. I check the new york section all the time
Oct 8, 2024