Ever since I quit nicotine I don't deprive myself of a cigarette when I feel like I really need it. So it hits different, because when my emotional state is low all it takes is a cig break to feel like I'm confronting whatever it is that's weighing me down. This system is fool-proof. Sometimes I think I'm low enough for a cigarette then decide I'm not quite sad enough. So when I do smoke it's because I'm crying & absolutely losing it. Because my smoke breaks are spontaneous, I can't quite plan for them, leading to unfinished packs & a plethora of lighters. Funny enough, each lighter coincides with whatever was making me feel awful that day making it a journal of sorts for my feelings. My fav is the "take me with you" lighter because well.. I really related to that when I bought it. There's also something really protagonist-y about walking into a gas station, eyes puffy & tears streaming down your face & asking for a pack of camel menthols ... oh & a swag lighter.
