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been reading about this lately, it's a fascinating idea that i can't help but hate
the way it gets used is to analyze everything as performance which exposes the silliness of a lot of social norms and ceremony
especially in modern queer theory is interesting and often used as funny and irreverent
but i can't help feel this perspective has an emptiness underneath it
if everything is exposed as performance it can also be dismissed as performance
and yes, performance can become real if we buy into etc. etc. and is not to be dismissed lightly etc. etc.
but i can't help wanting something more
i don't like performativity even though it's necessary
that's not such a terrible thing
even though it's not very functional
Mar 20, 2025
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when people talk about media, especially books, I want to hear about the themes and central questions! what does it ask or say about the human condition? what is the author trying to get at through telling this story? is it about loss? class struggles? queerness + faith crisis? blood family vs found family and where ones loyalties should ultimately lay? trust and betrayal and whether anything can truly be repaired? the importance of joy? even if it's "just the hero's journey again" or "yet another Faust tale", is the writer bringing something new with that??
I hate seeing promo of "I wrote a sapphic enemies to lovers in space with a trans ace character" like yes I would happily read a book like that and I'm glad it exists, but please don't have your synopsis just be a hodgepodge of tropes!! I want to know that this is a thoughtfully crafted piece!! don't sell your hard work as something trendy!!! Don't just list boxes it checks off! What is it *doing*???
Added: Like...I would actually *expect* a book with that description to explore some important, deep themes! or else it would almost be an injustice! like even if you're not focusing on trans pain, a transition even in a utopian, accepting society would still be an opportunity to explore identity and autonomy and what changes vs what doesn't (and tbh I want to see someone dissect the "i'm still the same person" idea, like is changing a bad thing? do we owe it to anyone to still be recognizable to them? to make it easier for them?). asexuality has questions about what is or isn't central to the human condition and what 'coming of age' means for different people! enemies to lovers is about first impressions and whether people are capable of changing! these are all INTERESTING themes! but the themes are what sells it for me! this is a marketing gripe I have, I have no problem with the plot points themselves i promise
6d ago
@mothersuperior post on latex and the yearndemic reminded me of this essay that I read a few years ago about the commodification and fetishization of the body and how it’s been paralleled with a lack of chemistry and sexuality that we used to see on screen. The title is your tldr: everyone is hot and no one is horny. The sterilization of sexuality and sex is everywhere, past even film. It’s a response to the acceleration of capitalism, war and colonial extraction of the earth. It has crept into the ways we view ourselves, our experience and our bodies.
One thing I took away from this essay is that to align yourself with traditional beauty standards will make you too tired to fuck. Similarly, the whole « working on yourself » grind that I heard on first dates all the time is this strange, individualistic perspective that makes you too exhausted and distracted for the holistic chemistry we desire. We flatten our lives to marketable lines that make us appear attractive - I’m working on myself, I’ve been going to therapy, I have a nice job and apartment. And while people are obviously horny, they don’t know for what - forming our bodies to be better, our minds fixed and correct, we can’t pinpoint what the purpose is cause we’re too fucking exhausted to investigate further than that. Love, desire, and chemistry feel more and more elusive.
For us to morph ourselves into the image of sexiness according to western beauty standards, there is sacrifice (nutrients, your current corporeal form, the ability to be perceived as more than an object, working long hours for your grind) that doesn’t align with sensuality (unless you’re into that). There is no room for the spectrum of sensations you body is capable of feeling. There is no room for desire when we’ve given it all up the capitalist war machine. :p
Mar 10, 2025
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I am making a zine about the art of performing, producing and affirming our gender.
A few weeks ago I was struck by a video of a piercer talking about gender-affirming piercings that exposed my bias. I, (a nonbinary hyper-femme glittery diva, obsessed with exploring, manipulating, and playing with expression, using my face, body, and essence as a canvas), realized I assume that "gender-affirming" actions, such as getting a piercing, would only refer to trans folks. There was this unconscious part of me that still gripped to the narrative that "gender" was somehow real... that cis people did not need to perform, produce, or affirm their own identity... that gender was static. This piercer exposed a hideous blind spot. They opened with a story of little girls getting their lobes pierced. This beautiful ushering into womanhood, this ritual of adorning similar style jewels to the brave and courageous women in your life. And then mothers. When mothers get their nose pierced to reclaim their bodies, to reclaim their autonomy after literally sharing, giving, everything to bring a child into the world. We all use art express our gender. We all everyday wake up and perform gender - yes sometimes in the theatrical sense, gender is drag of course - but also in the Judith Butler sense, that with every act we create a new reality.
I don't know. The whole thing has just got me thinking. Especially with the state of the world today, authoritarianism on the rise globally, transgender history literally being deleted from government websites... a joyful celebration of gender, a leaning into the playful aspects of what gender can, of what it should be... is at least what I need.
If you, cis, trans, unsure, whatever, have a story of a gender-affirming moment in your life, please share:) And if anyone wants to be a part of this project .... eeeeee that would be sick!
Feb 19, 2025
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May 25, 2025
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i love being alone. i know who i am when i'm alone and i love myself when i'm alone. when i'm around people it's easy to forget and i get lost and aimless.
how do you share parts of yourself without feeling overexposed? even just sharing creative work makes me feel like it's not mine any more and makes me doubt the part of myself that went into making it. but i also feel so stagnant when i'm not putting anything out into the world. where is the balance? how do you deal with this?
Feb 24, 2025
Mar 3, 2025