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It’s been almost a month and I’ve finally taken down her pictures from my walls. It’s such a confusing thing to know this person better than I know anything or anyone, and suddenly to be cut off from her. still, I’m so lucky to be surrounded by amazingly supportive and loving friends — I would be in a sorry state if not for them.
Mar 18, 2025
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if i were you, i'd keep the pictures. yeah, you're not together but the time you were together has made you who you are. Don't look at them and don't have them laying around, but keep them as a memory of that time of your life
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found this about a month late, and i'm not sure what the circumstances of your situation are, but i feel for you and thought i'd comment because i went through a similar situation about a year ago. my best friend of 5 years and i were very codependent, got into a sudden, blowout fight, and did not talk for months! it felt like a romantic breakup and i'd imagine you feel the same!
i'd say the biggest things that helped me deal and heal were 1. time and 2. somehow getting closure. by not communicating with her, i was ruminating on everything that went wrong and all the positive things i missed about our friendship. when we finally caught up, time had made both of us different people, and it was easier to see the reasons why we had stopped talking in the first place and why it might be for the better. enjoying and forming new friendships was also helpful, with people i was compatible with in different ways and fit in this new phase of my life. but i'm wishing you luck, losing a friend makes you feel lonely and rejected and in pain. but that feeling will pass
Feb 17, 2025
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my love and I parted ways a few months ago after our 5th anniversary. has truly been the hardest period of my entire life to slowly pick up the pieces and move on, a process that is nowhere near over even as much as I want it to be.
my biggest piece of advice is to surrender to the pain. don’t let yourself be drawn into anger and hatred, just let the crumbling happen. let the tears flow! talk to your friends about it over and over again. sit in silence with the people you love. fall asleep on the couch once in a while.
don’t bother with “why” — it’s a useless question, trust me.
Feb 20, 2025
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I like to remember that time is on your side, it will get easier as time goes by just for nature of it. So focusing on going through the day-to-day the best you can while being kind to yourself and letting the days past is what helped me.
It’s not easy, you have to go through the grief to come up on the other side.
But stick with the things that make your present more bearable and you WILL come up on the other side.
For me it was doing things for myself: listening to music, visiting close friends, cooking for myself, going on walks on nature, spending time alone and bored and finding new things I liked and enjoying my own company was life changing.
The loneliness is rough but it can be a great teacher (at least I like to think something had to come out of all that pain).
I guess it really depends on the break up the narratives you are telling yourself right now, but if you can be mindful about them, observe them, and let go of trying to understand and control everything they get less cruel. Right now you just need to survive and receive some kindness, later on you can build the story around it (Without the fog of the pain around it).
And for the love of god cut contact with them, their family and friends, at least for a while. rebuild yourself outside their zone of influence. Show vulnerability if you can, it can bring great support and lending ears, BE KIND TO YOURSELF (although have in mind sometimes over indulgence is not kind).
You will get through it, time is on your side.
Apr 18, 2024
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