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🪴

Never stop growing and changing

I’m not going to call this gifted kid burnout which I think is often just a symptom of the popping of the bubble of people’s confused delusions of grandeur because they didn’t realize that gifted education programs are at best a way of giving specialized and individualized education, and at worst a way of achieving legal segregation in schools. Not to brag, but my therapist who specialized in EMDR therapy for treating people with trauma told me that I had the most difficult childhood of anyone she had ever treated. It was also filled with beauty and I was encouraged in my many skills and pursuits early on, but the inner rot of compounded repeated traumas, keeping secrets, and hiding my suffering eventually took hold. I was always a good student but as things at home intensified I cared less and less. A teacher noticed this and tried to take advantage of my vulnerable state. This made matters more complicated for me because still to this day he’s my favorite teacher that I ever had; he taught me much of what I know about writing and helped me to develop my skills. After that, I spent my time in school just coasting along, putting in the minimal amount of effort to no fail. I had no goals or ambition. After graduation, I flitted from service job to service job. I started seeing my therapist and thinking about what I actually wanted to do. I realized I had one exceptional skill which could be monetized to my advantage and I threw myself into it, grinding to make a living and improve my station in life. This worked and I live in decent material comfort, but I’ve realized the lifestyle I always thought I wanted isn’t what I want at all, so I’m reevaluating that and beginning to explore what that looks like. There are several different exciting paths of progression my career could take, but I’m also finally working on creative projects for the first time in about a decade, so I’m going to see where life takes me. My best friend tells me I should become certified as a yoga teacher, and going back to school to study psychology and become a therapist would also be tight. I would love to seek a second career. It took me a long time to get here but I’m trying to actualize and find purpose… Something something Maslow’s hierarchy of needs.

@taterhole

May 26, 2024

🥽

THIS IS A SWEET EXERCISE

Wow I just wanted to see if I could remember omg sorry for the novel ____ (1-3rd grade) First, I wanted to be a singer/actress combo. Very Hannah Montana inspired. I even made my mom take me to some scammy commercial audition in Philadelphia. Memorized this coco puffs script, and then at the end they just told us I would be a star, only if we signed up for their thousands of dollars of acting classes. LOL. (3rd-5th grade) Then, I wanted to be a Doctor, a Pediatric Oncologist. My brother had cancer when we were kids, and I’d had medical jargon stuck in my head that I thought would impress adults around me. (5th-6th grade) Then I had my astronaut phase. That realization that there’s literally nothing cooler. My dad also said he wanted to be an astronaut when he was a kid and I think that inspired this era. (6-7th grade) Then, kinda major for me, I said I wanted to be an architect at these last day of 5th grade interviews. It was the first thing I could think of that merged art + ‘logistics’ for lack of a better world. And that intersection really intrigued me (foreshadowing). (8-9th grade) Then, I wanted to be a Magazine Editor. I loved tween mags like Tigerbeat etc, but it was me getting into Vogue - being so inspired by Anna and the world around ‘The September Issue’. Think there was a documentary. My best friend wanted to be a fashion designer. These both came true for us 🥹 (10-12th grade) Then, I wanted to be some kind of corporate business woman. Era of romanticizing the title ‘CEO’. (First year) Then, and now we’re in college, I wanted to be an ‘international laywer’ crossed with some sort of diplomat. Would have been pretty dope ngl and I loved my degree in IR. But an internship at a law firm turned me off of it and I realized no matter what I a) didn’t want to sit somewhere wishing time away And b) wanted to wear whatever I wanted at work. (Second year) Then, I remember I told my finsta followers that I wanted to be ‘a creator’ in my career and not have to say anything else. Some sort of Kanye moment of mine. (Third-Fourth year) Then, another monumental moment was a conscious notion of me saying to people that the career for me was something ‘I don’t know exists yet’. Whatever that era was really worked in my favor, sort of manifested falling into ‘Creative Strategy’ out of college which quite literally, I asked them in my interview what it was. Loved that gig, am since working across a spectrum of Creative Direction, Production, + Editorial. I think little me would think I was super weird + also be rooting me on 🌹After I’ve wrung out all my creative juices, I also plan to go back to school to become a Therapist in my 60s/70s

@dagny

2d ago

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sunday (a bit about me)

first blog post. not sure how this whole shablam works, but thought I'd give it a go. have the urge to write bs about my life for anyone who's listening. feel like I'm talking to myself, but I like doing that so I'm happy with whatever. sunday starting the day off right -- a can of chickpeas (with lime juice, garlic, and olive oil), a mandarin, and a coffee. thinking about what I want to accomplish. got a fuck tonne of schoolwork to do (it's really not that much, but it is when I spend the entire school day fucking around and wishing I was getting stuff done) might try finish some of it. got the day off work today, but clocked in for a dream shift last night so feel like I've worked overtime. to do list - breakfast, but you already know about that. trust me, don't knock on the chickpeas 'till you've tried them, they changed my life. - finish stats assesement, who gives a FUCK about fat content in bread? - maybe start my english work. should have started two weeks ago. - start something crafty ----- I yearn to craft, but have crafters block or whatever. that's why I started a blog, I love to write. I tried writing fanfic last week, but got an essay of a hate comment that hurt my feelings. god forbid a girl try something new. - walk my dog on the beach. this used to be a mindfulness activity for me, but I've been corrupted by podcasts and audiobooks. now I don't know how to be alone with my thoughts anymore. advice? goals and aspirations ☆ BUY A VAN if you know me in person you KNOW I've been annoying as FUCK about this. so basically, I really REALLY want a van. I'm looking for an old toyota hiace that someones put the bare bones of utilities in, so I could theoretically live out of it. nothing fancy, because who would I be without a project? ☆ CRAFT another reason why I want a van -- I need something to craft for. I know how to crochet, but have nothing TO crochet. a van would give me a vessel in which to dedicate my crafts. want something to crochet? blanket for my van! sewing project? curtains for my van! cushions! a duvet! want to try your hand in some painting? good, because the inside is probably in desperate need of a revamp. ☆QUIT MY JOB I'd written something really funny and cynical about my job here and why I want to quit, but my mum saw it & said that it was a 'sackable offense'. that'd save me the hassle of having to put in my two weeks, but I've got a reputation to uphold. also a van to pay for. guess the world just isn't ready for my comedic genius and sardonic honesty. my 2025 resolution make bad art. read long books. for TOO LONG I have been afraid to do things that I'm bad at. I'm not sure what I enjoy doing or what I'm just good at doing. but this year that changes. I'm gonna make BAD art. I'm gonna write a blog, and it'll probably be shit. make the art exist and worry if it's good later. I'm going to READ that long book. I've been feeling like time is moving faster than I can run, and that I'm running out of it. I've been far too hesistant to do things slowly. but the time will pass anyway, so I'm going to stop being too afraid to use it. SHIT POST OVER, that's a bit about me. ft pictures of breakfast today, I reckon I'd survive the apocolypse. thanks for reading if you've made it this far :kisskiss:

@ocelotsontoast

May 25, 2025

Top Recs from @hhtthhtthhttht

😂

“TAKING THE PISS”

The brits went crazy with this phrase. Some of their best work

@hhtthhtthhttht

Apr 17, 2025

📝

Drawing a picture and writing short prose instead of filming people doing weird stuff in public

Ok stay with me here. Too much public filming. This is going to discourage good weird public activity. We need people being weird in public. Odd dancing, carrying around insane items, freaked out fits, etc. Instead of a quick vid to show your friends, or, god forbid, *get internet clout*, people should be sketching the scene and describing it in colorful language. Now you have to take accountability for your opinion on the matter, your draftsmanship and writing gets better, and the public freaks have plausible deniability in the job interview. This goes for drunk man on the street tik tok videos as well. Put on a newsboy cap and start jotting. There should be exceptions like intentional performances or heinous crimes of course. I’m open to other exceptions I just can’t think of any rn. This will never be a reality but i can try

@hhtthhtthhttht

Feb 25, 2025

🏩

Being trusting and a tad naïve

I think karma is real so I don’t stress it much

@hhtthhtthhttht

Mar 10, 2025