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Back in the spring/summer of 2020, I helped tether myself to reality by dancing. I woke up and danced. I ate lunch and danced. I danced into the evening. Every day was filled with me dancing mostly alone in my living room. I shared a lot of my dancing on instagram, most of it to close friends only. As we were all in the thick of it together, it didn't feel weird to do so. Something that would feel egotistical and embarrassing now was acceptable then. I would love to share my dancing once again, but the path has yet to reveal itself. I am always navigating the balance of wanting to be private and wanting to be seen on the internet. One day, maybe, you'll find me on here willing to bare my dancing soul. Until then, I look back to those mainly awful months of 2020 with gratitude for the virtual connection I was able to have.
Mar 10, 2025
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Yesterday evening I gathered with some friends for the evening. Because of what a number people have been navigating, this friend group is relationally disconnected and trust has been fractured in some ways. It's been rough. I'm surprised that several people came. I'm surprised that I came.
After I got to the host house, I could feel the tension within myself. Knew that in order to show up my best, I needed to unwind, consolidate, merge into my true self more than I was in the moment.
In the old days, before I quit drinking over two years ago, I would have wanted a drink. Something to calm the nerves, relax me, take the edge off.
But last night I realized: things have changed. No drink needed. Want I want now is a dance. So I drifted back out to the parking lot, put my headphones on, queued up "Hungry Heart," and started moving.
Swaying, swinging, flapping my arms, and unburdening my soul.
And then I was myself again,
grinning joyfully,
defiantlyâ
then I joined the others,
and was fully there for all that came.
"I need a dance" is a pretty damn good addiction to have.
Are you with me?
May 8, 2025
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been in the existential, depression, spiral, identity crisis, world crisis, questioning everything since about August, finally coming to terms that it wonât just go away. So I danced the fuck out of myself for an hour. Felt so good.
Apr 27, 2025
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dancing, it's where i found my soul
bare soles taught me to bare my soul
hardwood floors,
bouncy, scuffed, sticky floors,
fields, pavements, walkways and isles,
dancing is my souls style.
swift and free,
glide, slide, rules must never be applied,
dance with me!
feel the groove,
see what happens when suave and grace are combined,
dancefloors i peruse,
no awareness of anything that disapproves.
on dark days,
my soul cries and wants to make waves,
turning me like tides and sending me round in strides,
my soul finds itself needing to return to the motion of earth,
blessing or a curse,
missing out on the beat is something i find much worse.
one thing must be known,
i do this for myself,
just my soul on its own,
and if you could,
don't ask if im any good,
you won't get a blank shrug,
or a thank you hug,
instead you may just get a fist to the mug.
rejuvenation in the raves,
peace in the positions,
ecstacy in extensions,
wonder in being wild.
ive loved it ever since a child,
i hope my souls dancing fever never grows mild.
from the dancefloor i hope im never exiled.
Apr 27, 2024
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May 31, 2025
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Humans have always danced. It is part of who we are, yet we have been conditioned to be self conscious, to think that we do not move our bodies good enough. Dancing is beyond judgement. Dancing is not a skill, it is our soul moving through our bodies, expressed in movement. Dancing is healing. Dancing is bodily autonomy. Dancing is FUN! Any feeling you are feeling can be moved through with dance yet even alone, you fear looking foolish. Kill the judge in your mind, shut the fuck up, and MOVE đ
Apr 24, 2025
In Tarot, The Fool is the first card in the Major Arcana, which represents the life cycle. These cycles we are continuously going through in our lives, not just once. The final card of the Major Arcana is The World (which I have tattooed very large on my thigh), which signifies the completion of a cycle and natural ascension into the next. We are then thrust back into the Fool, with a bit more wisdom.
The Fool as an archetype is one of joy, curiosity, spontaneity, and trust. The Fool is pure of heart, knowing that the Universe has got their back. This innate trust allows The Fool to be playful, to take risks, and truly believe everything will work out. The more we go through life and experience loss, grief, heartache, trauma, the harder it becomes to embrace this energy. Iâve found that as healing goes on, just as itâs shown in tarot, we return to this natural state of being. We start off as The Fool when we are wee little babies, and if we are lucky can return there a few cycles at a time, with more wisdom gained each time. Â
The goal of The Fool is to have positive experiences, maybe for fun, maybe to grow. There is an acceptance with The Fool, a kind of âthis is what is, how can I make this work well for me?â Everything works out for The Fool because they donât know it canât. Anything we go through in life, we can use to grow. I personally believe we all could benefit embracing the archetypal energy of The Fool a bit more. The Fool doesnât stop to worry what other people will think! The Fool does not fret about what ifâs! The Fool is in the moment!
6d ago