Related Recs

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getting comfy w indetermination

working from what may seem like very surface level cliches but stay w me here ((tldr: why not just believe that its all working out for the better, even if thats not what you planned? also, empathy and objectivity are a solid duo that id like to see in combination more frequently.)) putting this at the top because this is a dissertation, at best; psychosis, at the other end of the pendulum. sooooooo the fact that u have no control over life liek At All. has been a consistently terrifying concept for FOREVER as a shorty who is Clinically a control freak, but realizing that the unpredictable essence that makes all of this shit unnerving is the very thing that can take the weight of life off of your shoulders has been pretty revolutionary. im still digesting/integrating it one bite at a time, for sure, so call me a hypocrite ESPECIALLY if you know me personally. when in clarity, though, its been so pleasant to realize that since Nothing truly matters that much since nothing is set in stone anyway- w regard to action, approach, fulfilling temporary expectations of yourself, whether or not you reach short term goals, etc.- living life completely and utterly for yourself and whatever that means to you at any given moment will likely ultimately be the plan that brings you most fulfillment, when all is said and done. whether that means taking the risk and changing your major, taking that freaky elective bc it sounds cool, moving in w some randos in a townhouse, quitting your job and starting something new- maybe it winds up being an epic fail, who knows? as long as youre setting goals that align with an ultimate sense of who you are and what youre looking to get out of life, which i presume can be solidified further by pursuing said experiences just for the sake of it? right? helps u figure out what u actually want? and as long as you keep bareback essential priorities straight (financial and emotional stability come to mind), then theres no reason for impermanence to work against you. this also counts for people, as well. i feel like we hold others to critical standards, as we should, but contemporarily tend to neglect the fact that people DO change. morals/how you view the world are impacted by experience, and we are all fruits of very very different trees. completely dependent on circumstance, of course, empathy/understanding/consequential second chances are side-swept under the premise of respect/accountability. accountability is CRUCIAL, but i feel like so many of us (myself included) take that to heart and forget that figuring out how someone got to some place is a key aspect of understanding whether or not their position was truly from a place of lack of respect? if that makes any sense?? i also have been thinking about this a lot: my best friend throughout middle school and i fell out the summer before sophomore year over…nothing? idk, 3 years of seeing each other every single day (neighbors) to no contact until senior of high school- still weren’t talking regularly or anything though. 2 years ago, she turned 20. i posted an old photo of us because, despite everything, 20’s a big one. this year, we’ve spent late nights on facetime, drove to watch the sunrise after hours of catching up on god knows what on the hill where we would listen to music while her mom cooked dinner, and she’s been my go to for any necessary bitching/ranting during whats been the worst year my mental health has ever seen?? time is your friend, if you let it be. connections arent a race in any dynamic, and it’s never over if it’s truly meant to happen. let life change. i think.

@slut

Dec 5, 2024

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compulsion, devotion, tokenism

It's been a time of great emotional upheaval lately, kicking up old dirt, airing out miasmas, the works. I feel like it's a time of good change, working towards something bigger, and coming out the other side feeling more in my skin. The issue lies with the compulsion to devotion and in a sense religion with it all. I grew up culturally Methodist, but never identified fully with the religion. There was a period where I denied any and all religion out of spite to the institution I was in, there was a period I desperately wanted to believe in guidance or some power watching over me, but it eventually settled to agnosticm. That's where I lay, that's where I've been. Until lately, where Ive felt a pull to explore that side again. It began with a compulsion to draw the natural order, the intertwining of human and animal behaviour. I never knew what I was drawing, or what any of it meant, I just knew it was something bigger than my own words, and it had to be out of me otherwise it would burn a hole through me. I picked up the music of Ethel Cain, ever the sucker for religious imagery, but her music and approach has made me question things. I feel drawn towards a devotion, not necessarily towards the Christian gods or organized religion as a whole but something bigger, more ancient//primal than that? Maybe there is a god in the world, the sun, the gravitational pull, the trees, the water, the butterflies, EVERYTHING IS A CIRCLE. Ritual, giving myself up in a way brings a form of floating comfort, autonomy? I don't know how to describe it. It's been on my mind, i've been pretty vocal about it, and also my newfound love//fixation on Ethel Cain. I don't know. part of me wonders if maybe people think this whole schtick I'm on is derivative of this music fixation and in a way a performance evoked by the music. i don't quite know why it matters to me, i guess I'm just worried my friends are getting sick of it. i do not feel like the same person, there is something much bigger than all of us, even if it is not omniscient or heavenly, it is not us.

@athenainsight

Mar 25, 2025

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Never stop growing and changing

I’m not going to call this gifted kid burnout which I think is often just a symptom of the popping of the bubble of people’s confused delusions of grandeur because they didn’t realize that gifted education programs are at best a way of giving specialized and individualized education, and at worst a way of achieving legal segregation in schools. Not to brag, but my therapist who specialized in EMDR therapy for treating people with trauma told me that I had the most difficult childhood of anyone she had ever treated. It was also filled with beauty and I was encouraged in my many skills and pursuits early on, but the inner rot of compounded repeated traumas, keeping secrets, and hiding my suffering eventually took hold. I was always a good student but as things at home intensified I cared less and less. A teacher noticed this and tried to take advantage of my vulnerable state. This made matters more complicated for me because still to this day he’s my favorite teacher that I ever had; he taught me much of what I know about writing and helped me to develop my skills. After that, I spent my time in school just coasting along, putting in the minimal amount of effort to no fail. I had no goals or ambition. After graduation, I flitted from service job to service job. I started seeing my therapist and thinking about what I actually wanted to do. I realized I had one exceptional skill which could be monetized to my advantage and I threw myself into it, grinding to make a living and improve my station in life. This worked and I live in decent material comfort, but I’ve realized the lifestyle I always thought I wanted isn’t what I want at all, so I’m reevaluating that and beginning to explore what that looks like. There are several different exciting paths of progression my career could take, but I’m also finally working on creative projects for the first time in about a decade, so I’m going to see where life takes me. My best friend tells me I should become certified as a yoga teacher, and going back to school to study psychology and become a therapist would also be tight. I would love to seek a second career. It took me a long time to get here but I’m trying to actualize and find purpose… Something something Maslow’s hierarchy of needs.

@taterhole

May 26, 2024

Top Recs from @cosborn

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first thoughts

Saw this on an insta ad. The app is a lil buggy and slow but I'm sure it will improve. The big thing going for this platform is obv the sincerity & simplicity, no advertising or clout chasing weirdos here (yet?), no people trying to steal your attention by gaming an algorithm Sometimes I see pics of people tryna look hot on insta with dumb captions underneath... this person I know went on vacation, pic of beach, move on. I might heart the post cause they're my friend and I'm socially obligated, but I don't actually like it and would really rather not feed their ego cause I know they don't deserve it This place, for now, is maybe more real and interesting. Just people writing weird shit from off the dome, maybe for themselves, maybe in hopes others will see. Keep in mind I came to this conclusion after scrolling some posts for no more than 2 mins When bereal started it was kinda casual and simple in its approach like this, but was unfortunately too interested in growing and added a bunch of unnecessary features just to become like all the apps before it. But this place is still in its infancy and it's already all that it needs to be. I just don't know if it will stay because although people say they like sincerity, they (including me) will still find ways to optimize and control their public image over time, will show less and less of their real character Thank you for creating this app, excited to see the social experiement unfold. Idk if I'll be posting on here that much. Cute retro UI. I like

@cosborn

Jan 30, 2025

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other human beings

After sustained isolation and loneliness, spending time with other people can be a much-needed grounding, humbling experience Invite people over! Hop on the train / in the car to visit a friend! Go to new places and meet new people. Start a movie club, meet up at a café, embark on an open-ended collaborative creative endeavor. Give yourself many excuses to get out of your apartment, and do whatever you've gotta do to put yourself in the presence of other human beings. It's good for regulating your emotional state and ego. It fills a certain part of you that may be empty without you even knowing it This is especially true for spending time with people who are *different* from you: people who have different talents, people who do crazy drugs you'd never do, people who spend their time in different places than you, even people you might kind of hate! The contrast can be stressful but that's just because you're using more brain power to place yourself in relation to these other people in the moment. But the long-term payoff will make you feel whole, and the world will start making a bit more sense. And once all is said and done, the feeling of returning to your apartment, or of cleaning up and lighting a candle after you've had visitors of your own, will have made it worth all the while

@cosborn

Feb 2, 2025

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Not liking your own post

I didn't mean to like my own post. Fuck. I'm not vain like that. Idk how to undo it. Don't judge

@cosborn

Jan 30, 2025