please. i’m so bored. we’ll watch arrested development. we’ll eat tacos and french fries. we’ll drink beer and wine. we’ll talk about life and the sky. we’ll step outside on the porch once the sun sets, and stare at the stars. i’ll learn your favorite stars; you’ll learn mine. we’ll take a shot. maybe two. the night will feel endless.
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WELLL BACK AT MY HOUSE I GOT A CALIFORNIA KING OKAY MAYBE ITS A TWIN BED AND SOME ROOMMATES (DONT WORRY WE’RE COOL!!)
Apr 15, 2024
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sitting on your grown up couch in your grown up apartment with your younger brother you‘ve only seen twice a year (if that?) for the past five-ish years. ideally you will have just gone to a hardcore show together in a church rec room in the middle of some nothing suburban town in new jersey, adrenaline pumping as you watch people joyfully bludgeon themselves and each other, slipping spinning and flinging limbs - all in good fun. you never usually get fast food and you never usually order delivery, but because this is a rare occasion, you order the wendy’s, you ignore the price, you flip on futurama. it is also an episode poking fun at fast food. it is 1:30 in the morning. he gets set up with blankets and pillows, you leave him with the remote. after these years in the marines he now prefers to sleep in jeans and a t-shirt, and at this point you’ve stopped bothering him to do otherwise. he’s comfortable. you make plans to go shoot guns tomorrow, and this time he’ll pick up the tab. you’ll have dinner at your parents’ before his flight monday. in the meantime, you both sit on the couch watching cartoons and dipping fries into a Frosty, legs draped over each other, cracking each other’s toes
Jan 28, 2024
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later we can go to my mom’s unfinished basement to choreograph a dance together and u can sleep over
Jun 18, 2024
Top Recs from @al1
i haven’t used this app in weeks because i got a motherfucking job baby. busser at an italian restaurant. italian!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i love italian. i make money now too. i actually don’t know how much because i want to pretend i don’t care about that stuff. i also don’t care about water ot anything because i never ask for that either. i won capitalism and i believe i will continue winning!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Apr 1, 2025
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what’s that like? i’ve never experienced it. i’ve been searching for a job nonstop for the past five months and fucking no one has gotten back to me. i haven’t even been called back to say i didn’t get the job. i’m sick of it. i’m not in desperate need of a job but i’d rather have one before i am.
i was expecting a call back all day. i waited by the fucking phone. i called because i was expecting a call this week, and the guy who interviewed me said “i’ll call you tomorrow.” fuck you. i hope you can’t sleep at night because you keep having dreams about your ex. i hope she calls you the next day and says she wants to get back together with you and she’ll meet you at your favorite date spot. i hope she stands you up, dan. i hope everything bad that could happen to you, happens. i wish murphy’s law upon you.
edit: it’s so funny because this is my first semi-serious post that’s doing NUMBERS. thought i’d point that out and brag a little. maybe i don’t need a job after all. can i monetize this post?
Mar 3, 2025