Iāve been warned by well-meaning friends not to lean too heavily into nostalgia as I revisit past events in my life. I understand their perspective and theyāre not even necessarily wrong, but itās not about what was had before, or what could have been had and was lost; itās about whatās missing now. The nostalgia is a signpost for the path to discovering new meaning.
Excerpt from a 1976 interview of AnaĆÆs Nin by Jeffrey Bailey of New Orleans Review:
NOR
We seem now to be swept by a tide of nostalgia, a series of tides, really. How do you react to this? Are you nostalgic?
NIN
No, Iām really not. I love my present life, I love the people who visit me now. Iām much more interested in experiencing new cycles than in looking back. I tend to feel negatively about nostalgia; I think we go back when we feel stunted in the present life. People who are nostalgic have known something good in the past and want to pick it up again; say, for example, the houseboat period in my own life. When Iām in Paris, I look at those boats gently tossing on the water and I recall many good things, but I really donāt have that nostalgic craving. Each cycle of my life interested me equally, but I have no desire to go back to any of them.
Feb 21, 2025
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ugh this is good. however! i would maybe argue some nostalgia (admittedly not all) is an embrace of those cycles. things come around again for a purpose. you can usually feel the difference between a nostalgia of fondness and a fondness of toxicity.
babyoblivi0n ** i meant a nostalgia of fondness and a nostalgia of toxicity
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š
iām a very nostalgic and sentimental person. i feel that iāve lived a majority of my life in my head, and i find that i enjoy the past more than i ever enjoy the present.
i donāt think nostalgia is a bad thing, but i can definitely fall into feeling sad because iām yearning for different eras of my life (hereās the kicker- even if i know i was actually miserable during that time, but now that iām slightly more removed, iāve romanticized the experience)
well the other day my mom and i talked about the idea of being nostalgic for the moment youāre currently in. notice all of the little details that are creating the experience youāre having, and be grateful that you live a life thatās worth remembering and looking back on. file that moment away, so then, weeks/months/years from now when youāre looking back on this moment, youāll know that you experienced it fully.
Mar 5, 2025
as scary as the here-and-now is, we can't go back! only forward! nostalgia is bittersweet and feels eerily comforting, but you can't hold or be held by a memory and there are a whole lot of people that need us to be present rn. shit is hard.
Feb 26, 2025
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āLife shrinks or expands in proportion to one's courage.ā
ā AnaĆÆs Nin
This is uncharacteristically raw and personal, even for me, and pretty heavy! I know many of you have seen me posting through it and I feel safe to talk about it openly now that Iāve safely landed at the start of my new life. Itās honestly even a little bit embarrassing but I think itās important to share.
Iāve never publicly mentioned it on here, but I have a husband; as of Friday, weād have been together for 11 years, and weāve been married for 3 years as of 2/22. I realize now that I wanted to explore what I looked like outside of my relationship with him because I had lost that. This is why PI.FYI has been so meaningful to me as a space to express myself and connect with peopleāto rediscover my voice.
I had been living a lie this entire time, to others but worst of all to myself. Heās been verbally and emotionally abusive, physically but without touching me, to the point that every day I spent with him I was in danger. Iāve been shrinking myself and walking on eggshells to avoid making him insecure and provoking his casual put-downs and fits of rage, while hanging on for dear life to the threads of good I could see.
Iāve wanted so badly to leave, more than anything, but I felt like there was no way out and that this was just something I would need to endure indefinitelyābut someone who is so very dear to me helped me see that I have wings to fly, not by acting as my savior but by reminding me of my own power. The emotional safety they built and the gentle care they showed me made me feel like I could open up to them. With their encouragement I was brave enough to tell the truth to my friends, my family, my boss, and they have received me with warm, loving and open arms and rallied to support and protect me. The financial andĀ logistical aspects were the most intimidating to me and itās going to be tough for a while but Iām going to be better than okay!
Now Iām opening up to you. This isnāt the only abuse Iāve suffered in my life, and my old therapist told me she believed it was my mission to share my strength and light with others to inspire them and show them that change is possible.
I hope that by sharing this, I can reach even just one person who is going through something similar and show that they are not alone, and they are not weak. People with certain backgrounds may be more vulnerable to abuse, but it can happen to anyone. It thrives in darkness, shame, and isolationāand breaking that silence is the first step toward freedom.
Leaving is the scariest thing I have ever done but I have so many angels around me, and I am endlessly grateful. Thank you for being here with me š
Mar 16, 2025
My dad teases me about how when I was a little kid, my favorite thing to do when I was on the landline phone with somebodyābe it a relative or one of my best friendsāwas to breathlessly describe the things that were in my bedroom so that they could have a mental picture of everything I loved and chose to surround myself with, and where I sat at that moment in time. Perfectly Imperfect reminds me of that so thanks for always listening and for sharing with me too š
Feb 23, 2025
Schedule sent my resignation email for the morning, effective immediately ā
š
Feb 27, 2025