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Love After Love The time will come  when, with elation  you will greet yourself arriving  at your own door, in your own mirror  and each will smile at the other's welcome,  and say, sit here. Eat.  You will love again the stranger who was your self. Give wine. Give bread. Give back your heart  to itself, to the stranger who has loved you  all your life, whom you ignored  for another, who knows you by heart.  Take down the love letters from the bookshelf,  the photographs, the desperate notes,  peel your own image from the mirror.  Sit. Feast on your life.  [Image ID: Carnegie Heart (1986) by Jim Dine]
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Feb 13, 2025

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The time will come when, with elation you will greet yourself arriving at your own door, in your own mirror, and each will smile at the other’s welcome, and say, sit here. Eat. You will love again the stranger who was yourself. Give wine. Give bread. Give back your heart to itself, to the stranger who has loved you all your life, whom you ignored for another, who knows you by heart. Take down the love letters on the bookshelf the photographs, the desperate notes, peel your own images from the mirror. Sit. Feast on your life.
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My four chambered friend writ across stolen paper your red walls pulsing in my hands with a song so loud, so salty sweet, my lover to devour in the afternoon up three thousand steps, poetry on company time, secrets held close to the chest like playing cards, nine of hearts in my arsenal like a cat falling from the roof eight times into oblivion I save my ace. I’m a hunk holding a hunk, I’m Casanova and I really want to know you, I’m a heart throb on a mission. My star across the sky and on a waiting list a meteor patiently in line at the self checkout, with a fistful of ibuprofen and a need to speed right into my bed. Answer my emails from between silk sheets with a rose between my teeth. Leak your devotion all over my best shirt on Mondays my love, come apart in my hands, melt into a silky hot drink for me to guzzle. Beat like a drum for me only, my ever-marching accomplice, you complete me. Let me crawl into you and take solace there I’ll eat you from the inside out, melt your walls down with my hands and leave no residue.
May 13, 2024
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it’s great when I’m able to romanticize my daily life when things seem mundane. to be able to be grateful for what I have rather than focusing on what I don’t. that’s not to say that I think you shouldn’t question your situation and to be complicit, but sometimes for the time being you don’t have a choice. so it’s better to look on the bright side of things. I’ve heard the quote that the grass is greener where you water it and I believe that to be true to an extent. I’m also reminded of a poem that’s stuck with me for a while. it’s title is Aimless Love by Billy Collins and it goes like this: This morning as I walked along the lake shore, I fell in love with a wren and later on in the day, a mouse the cat had dropped under the dining room table. In the shadows of an autumn evening, I fell for a seamstress still at her machine in the tailor’s window, and later for a bowl of broth, steam rising like smoke from a naval battle. This is the best kind of love, I thought, without recompense, without gifts, or unkind words, without suspicion, or silence on the telephone. The love of the chestnut, the jazz cap and one hand on the wheel. No lust, no slam of the door— the love of the miniature orange tree, the clean white shirt, the hot evening shower, the highway that cuts across Florida. No waiting, no huffiness, or rancor— just a twinge every now and then for the wren who had built her nest on a low branch overhanging the water and for the dead mouse, still dressed in its light brown suit. But my heart is always standing on its tripod, ready for the next arrow. After I carried the mouse by its tail to a pile of leaves in the woods, I found myself standing at the bathroom sink gazing down affectionately at the soap, so patient and soluble, so at home in its pale green soap dish. I could feel myself falling again as I felt its turning in my wet hands and caught the scent of the lavender and stone.
May 17, 2025

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