đź’Ť
Foolishly in love with my self-loathing, we’ve been married for years now. Although history proves I've been loyal, I can’t lie; my eyes are wandering. Moving on and self-acceptance have been looking real good recently. I think it's the promise they hold. I’ve inched towards them slowly, but I’m a married man. Leaving something that’s been with me for so long now is very daunting. To leave is to break trust and commitment. Who's lain in bed with me all these years, who's kept me company after dark? How could I dare leave my loyal partner? How foolish of me.
-Me
Feb 12, 2025
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đź’Ť
"Stay hungry and stay foolish" is about the posture of humility, of curiosity, of intentional unknowning.
You think you know her. It's true: you do, enough to get married. But she's complex and marvelous and nearly infinite. Know that you'll never really know everything—but take joy in being a perpetual student of her. Seek to discover, uncover, and be surprised every day. And tomorrow she'll be a little bit different than today and really different in a year. That's wonderful. The she that you married won't be the she in ten years. Endless delights and discovery.
Violently avoid complacency in your marriage. Be comfortable together but avoid getting too comfortable. Don't take her for granted. And if you feel like she's taking you for granted, then tell her you feel that way—say it lovingly, over dinner and with champagne and with a smile—but definitely say something.
Say something. If you can't let it go and forgive it, then you've got to surface it. Mercilessly evict those little offenses, don't let them fester into toxic walls.
You're probably wrong. Keep that in mind. You might think you are definitely right. Well, she also thinks she's definitely right. In every conversation and conflict hold space for the possibility that you are wrong. That way you don't end up being the jerk who can't admit error—or the jerk who lords your rightness over her. Be humble in being wrong and gracious in being right.
Be teachable. You're going to have to be teachable as you enter into this next stage in life and as you move through other stages and expansions that may follow. What's served you well up until this point has been good, but it will be inadequate to take you into the seasons ahead.
Never stop learning. Never fully arrive. Don't plateau.
Be your own person. Let her be her own person. Insist on that. Encourage and protect and fight for her independence—as you at the same time seek to be interdependent.
Need one another! But also don't need one another.
You've got something special now, just the two of you. Protect it. So try not to go to intimate places with others that you can't go with her. Fight for those intimacies.
You've got something special now, so bring others into it. The warmth and community in your own little village of the two of you isn't just for you: it's for the wayward friend, the crying child, the weary stranger. You've got a good thing here. Be generous with it.
You know that thing oft said thing about love (which they'll probably quote at you on your wedding day), that "love is patient and kind and keeps no record of wrongs and always hopes and forgives" and so on, aim for that! Achieving it is impossible, but it's a damn fine target.
You've got this. You’ve got what it takes.
Also: you don't have what it takes! And when you don’t have what it takes, that’s fine too. She might not either. You get to grow together. And that’s the most beautiful part of all.
Good luck! We're rooting for you!
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My cred for offering all of this: I am human. I am here. There was an empty text box and a share button.
May 15, 2025
đź’’
“there is no greater force against evil in the world than the love of a man and woman in marriage.” – Cardinal Raymond Burke. i love love and i love being in love with my husband and it feels nice to tell you that i think we have the greatest love of all time. i won't detail our story here because i think that's a little gauche, but i do love to talk about it so if you ever have the chance to ask me in person i will, without hesitation, gush about him with effervescence while giggling uncontrollably. never once have i doubted his presence in my life, just like i've never doubted God’s, and every day my faith in both grows stronger than i could imagine. my husband is a brilliant artist and is currently doing beautiful work with jared madere and milo conroy on yeche lange, an nft gallery launched at the beginning of june, and i am very proud of him.
Jun 30, 2022
đź—ž
After a pandemic dip, the number of married couples “living apart together” has started to rise again. And women, in search of their own space, are driving the increase.
This would honestly be my dream If I were to get married.
Jan 2, 2025
Top Recs from @deadboyracer
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With all the quick motions and shocking happenings of the world, I've been taking refuge in the faith I was raised with. Not with a reactionary frame of mind, but searching for the empathetic section of the world I knew when I was younger. Before, I learned about the expansive evils of the world and the contradictory nature of mainstream Christianity and, in extension, Catholicism. I've left the church, but I still visit from time to time, mentally. The teachings of love and justice have given me solace in these trying times. As some rights are being stripped and opportunities limited, my first reaction has been to pray for the people affected. Sympathy is hardwired in my bones, but it's new that I physically get on my knees to recite and conjure a prayer. I've been told I'm having a "come to God" moment, but honestly, I feel I'm falling in love with an idealistic version of Catholicism. Something I can defer to when the logical and the skeptical sections of my mind are overworked with anguish. I feel it couldn't only be me feeling these emotions.
Anyone else?
Jan 28, 2025
In the circles I run in, it’s very underappreciated. Freddie and Alchemist must’ve sold their souls or something because the album from start to finish is literally the most beautiful and perfectly executed album ever. It’s perfect for long drives, walks around the neighborhood, and it’s perfect barbershop music. If you know what I mean. The lyrics exude a certain rawness and sincerity that, when juxtaposed with the peaceful samples on the instrumentals, form the perfect listening experience. The album feels too intimate at times; it genuinely takes me aback.
Jan 31, 2025
Just finished writing your heart out? Don’t want to close your book? Not satisfied with your entry? Take some time to sketch something on the margin or even the next page. It can be related to your passage or just a doodle. Use the drawing time to make sense of the emotions you just expressed. I promise it's very mediative.
Apr 2, 2025