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* girlfriend * perfume * my car * nestle premade chocolate chip cookie dough * taco cabana * signs * sidewalks * cool teachers * advil
Feb 9, 2025

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More stuff I am happy/thankful for but didn’t have time to post: -baja blast and Taco Bell -got a good grade on my interpretive essay which idk I thought she was a harsh grader but I’m slaying !!! -finished illustration project for tomorrow!!! -GOT TO SEE THE SENIOR SHOW!!! i missed reception because I didn’t know it happened but yayyy go illustration students and other art students!!! There was a lot of cool things there I loved to much -weather was nice outside today for the first time in a while- lowkey wanted to hammock but was busy and didn’t have it with me -someone held the door for me and idk it just felt very nice -IM EATING A POP TART FOR BREAKFAST TOMORROW!!! That’ll be good And ummm yeah I think there was more but I am getting tired but overall was a pretty nice day and idk I think that if I focus on all the nice things that happen it’ll help me get through finals week LOL
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consider my day made :D it really is the little things
Feb 19, 2025

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i am in love with my daughter who has not been born. i am obsessed with her despite the fact that she still lives inside my body and likely will for the next 10 years. i am eating an orange peel. i am consuming the bitterness i have born to prepare for sweetness where is all the sweetness at? does anybody want to share?
Feb 19, 2025
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nervous like a dog i lower my head as i come to greet you. i can only actualize through your likeness, through your touch. love me, mother earth, with the gentle hand you give offer your children. love me, please, somebody love me.  nervous, kind of like a dog, i kiss your face. i’ve never been nervous around anyone before, i just was always kind of just nervous around myself. but you but you that’s what i always say: but you, my favorite exception but you make me nervous. i don’t think it’s in a bad way, but rather in a natural way, like a human has ought to be nervous like a dog, cautious and slow, hesitant, but still excited to love, in order to survive. wound up but relaxed. scared but safe. anxious to give. i think that this is the right way to be. to be nervous, to be strung tight, but also to feel electric, to feel in the nerves. kiss my shoulder and i jolt, my back and i squirm, my, well my anything really, and i will lose focus. my electrochemistry, my feel of my own body, my understanding of who i am on a chemical level, is conducted by the girl i am in love with. bring me to life. please, oh please, let me live. breathe into me the words of old lovers and the grins of new faces. let me become divine through your touch. let me become.  to become a lover is to become something outside of yourself. i love vinyl and the soil, and so i will take this love inside of me from the outside world. i love stand up comedy, and so often i will tell a joke like people are watching. to love, and to internalize that love, is to be otherly: to become a mosaic. my body is almagate of record players and alligators and shitty punky bands and ottessa moshfegh novels and that is who i am.  to love is to be.  and i am scared i will never become you. not that i want to be you, but that i want to be like it is nothing but natural to want to become like what you desire, to find her in yourself and suddenly become relieved to be the girl you are, and yet, nervous, like a dog, i greet your towering presence, scared i am not like enough, but beaming with the joy of being loved by the only individual. 
Feb 13, 2025
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she didn’t know any better!
Feb 13, 2025