most "rules" influencers teach you are nonsense. this goes double for when they're preying on your bodily insecurities and telling you what you *must* do for your body type.
unfortunately, a lot of "big and tall" brands are crap quality. you could get something made to measure, but if you're actively losing weight, that might be a waste of money. So your best option will be to thrift. Have stuff tailored if you lose like ~10 pounds. Resell it if you lose like ~30 pounds.
Derek Guy will teach you about proportion: https://x.com/dieworkwear
This article is also very good: https://alittlebitofrest.com/2022/01/09/how-i-think-about-proportions-silhouette/
There are still no hard rules, but these principles tend to work very well, or at least will help you train your eye to understand different silhouettes and effects very well.
These principles are also intended for all men. In the context of tailoring, you'll learn: if you want to look stronger, enhance your chest and shoulders with structure. If your pants are too low in the rise, that shortens your leg and doesn't drape right and makes you look weird. If your pants are too slim at the thighs, there will be a discontinuity between your jacket and your pants, which is bad. Some of these lessons don't apply directly to other stuff -- low rise denim makes sense, short blousons make sense -- but you'll get a hang of that soon, I promise.
Put together these lessons bit by bit to get a greater sense of proportion and get an idea of how to put together a whole silhouette.
Feb 5, 2025
Related Recs
Men‘s formal wear is all about fit. Learning how to shop off the rack with the intention of doing alteration is a skill worth developing especially as you may come to find that mens ready to wear is not necessarily cut for your frame. For example, a trouser can be hemmed or taken in but it’s really hard to change the seat. A shirt can be cropped or the sleeves shortened, but it needs to fit you through the chest.
I recommend shopping in person and moving in clothes while you try them on. (How do your clothes look when you bend down? When you sit? Can you raise your arms? Can you hug a friend?) You need to be really honest with yourself about how things fit in this process and shopping for the body you have rather than the body you want can be really difficult while working through changes in presentation and self-conception. But like any skill you will only get better at it over time!
My girlfriend put me on to Put This On a few years back. It’s full of intel about the codes and rules of men’s dress that I never really learned but having more of a language for these things has improved my eye and vocabulary for menswear many times over. Fwiw I am coming at this as a historically masculine of centre woman who still mostly shops menswear—so while I am very serious about clothing and have been collecting for many years, I am not particularly concerned with passing but am rather pursuing comfort and ease with my body and in my life. All this to say this rec is for the long game!
Godspeed and good luck!
6d ago
i'm not a guy but i'm a guyish girl in a bigger body and I find creating interesting silhouettes or shapes and knowing what fits can make you look more fashionable/put together
I like to make sure I'm either a) accentuating my proportions in a flattering way or b) creating an alternate, interesting sillhouette (don't be afraid to wear something more voluminous)
I think Brian Tyree Henry is really good at this
He'll tend to either create a voluminous organic shape or have fitted cropped items. Here are some photo examples of mid size to larger men that I think nail this idea
@macaulay_flower
@kylefrominsta
@abouammz
Matty Matheson
Brian Tyree Henry
Feb 3, 2025
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Look at the six items you actually wear and note what you like about them: is it the color, the fit, the style (casual, formal, eclectic, etc.), brand, season, and fabric.
As an example, I feel most confident in structured, classic modern outfits— I look for all organic materials (linen, cotton, silk), I tend to stick to a few favorite brands for basics, and I keep a list of what I need to replace/what’s missing in my closet so I don’t impulse purchase vintage t-shirts when I need a fitted blazer.
Thrift stores are really great for exploring your style— so are mood boards. When you see an outfit you love online, take a picture of it or note what about it was interesting.
One thing that I think goes overlooked is underwear— a well fitted bra really changes how clothes, especially shirts, hang and feel. You’ll only wear an outfit if the underwear you wear it with is comfortable. So if you have a dress you love, but aren’t wearing it because it either requires shapewear that makes you uncomfortable, or a nude/backless underwear or bra that you don’t keep in your closet, you’ll get less wear out of the item.
Additionally, know your measurements. Your body size is neutral, but language around sizing isn’t, and it can be discouraging to shop when you have a vague idea of your sizes and end up needing to size up or down. Get a soft tape measure, and get your true waist, hips, bust, shoulders, inseam, and rise. I have a very high rise to my natural waist, and knowing that helps me shop for pants and skirts with less frustration over fit.
Lastly, it’s okay for it to take time— curating your style and wardrobe should be ongoing and thoughtful; a fast fashion haul won’t help figure out what you like outside of trends, and those clothes tend to break down quickly. If you can, try to buy well made versions of your staple items— resale and thrift stores are a great place to find real leather jackets, upscale basics, and one of a kind pieces that you can’t find elsewhere.
Jun 23, 2024
Top Recs from @danhakimi
I pulled together all the good advice I could on how to get a men's summer wardrobe together cheap. I hope it helps somebody.
Apr 11, 2024
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I feel like this place isn't about people but about recommendations, right? forget the influencer, forget the individual, just browse and talk about cool shit and whoever says something good, that's good. that's what I liked about reddit, back when I actually liked reddit.
I haven't found many people I want to follow, and I'm not really looking.
Mar 3, 2024
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I've been enjoying new clothes, and experimenting them with fun ways, so much lately that I need to keep reminding myself of this. Not every excursion outside needs to be fresh and new and experimental. If I am going out and I need a warm sweater and I need my sneakers and I already have a fit in mind with those pieces, I can just wear it, I don't need to reinvent the wheel every time.
Feb 28, 2024