Join or get into doing a âsocialâ form of exercise i.e a rock-climbing gym, MMA gym, yoga classes, running clubs. Just going to Planet Fitness wonât cut it. An environment where you can easily approach others while exercising, and be able to talk like âWhat bouldering grade are you on?â âI donât know how to top rope, can you teach me?â Do this and you are guaranteed to get friends.
Going out of your comfort zone and taking risks. If thereâs a âsketchy barâ you donât go to but one of your friends does, ask to go with them. You get a new experience if you like it + if you hate it you donât have to go there again!
Dress and Smell your best self. This one is subjective and exists on a slippery slope but when I started mixing my own personal flair with nice luxury fashion brands and wearing them out with friends, I noticed I would get way more attention from women (or other guys like me who like style). If you have not already invest in good fragrance/cologne, I suggest D.S DURGA and Malin + Goëtz.
BE NICE I canât stress this enough.
I canât begin to explain how many people forget this especially men like me. No bro, donât go to the bar with the intention of getting in her pants that night, just go and have a fun time and be nice. If an attractive girl (or guy) DOES walk up to you, just talk to them like you would anyone else, and keep the convo engaging. Thatâs all there is to it.
Use this app. So far on this app, Iâve found only hot and cool people on here, and many are willing to share so much info about themselves like their hobbies, special interests, and advice aka what I am doing right now!
Feb 2, 2025
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If you have a crafty hobby, maybe take class in it
Start a new hobby by taking a class. I think pottery would be a good choice
Like to cook - cooking class
Nerdy - go to a trivia night
Look for a book club, go to a gallery opening, take an improv class
Obviously itâs much much much much easier said than done, and I also feel like I was absent the day i was supposed to learn how to live.
Also thereâs an app called Timeleft that organizes dinners among random strangers. Iâve only done it once (the app and the dinners get expensive) and had a good time. Itâs in quite a few different cities.
Thereâs also an app called Mingle IRL that started in my city. I donât know if itâs expanded much yet
Finally, Bumble has an option to look for friends (same gender only) instead of dates. Donât remember what they call it but youâll figure it out.
Personally I think any woman who thinks another woman looks cool should be able to walk up to her and ask to be friends. I guess men could do it with each too, but I donât know if we ever look cool.
Best of luck!
Feb 2, 2025
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Join groups. Not paid classes. I think people often show up to paid classes with a friend or two, and are just generally more focussed on themselves and their little project considering they literally gave up money to be there.
Instead: Find something like a community garden, a co-op supermarket, a mutual-aid volunteer group, an arts collective, the board of a local hospital or community center etc. People show up at these things alone...and if they show up with a friend, it is unlikely they BOTH will like it and have the time and desire to keep showing up. If you like it, and show up 2 or 3 times, you will get to know the other people who keep showing up! I feel like I am describing this poorly, but I have made meaningful connections with people in these settings and never from a bar or an event meant to meet people. Also, maybe we are different, but I am more interested in someone who takes time to put themself in this setting than someone who is at a bar at 2am. Quirky people are cool.
Other thoughts:
- Agree that consistency is key. I've read before that connection comes from being spontaneously in the same place at the same time over and over (not from planning rigid hangouts and putting them on your calendar a month out). I guess this manifests by becoming a regular at a cafe or a library branch or a park or joining a group like the ones above. Keep your eyes up and talk to the people who also show up over and over. (It's mot easy, I need to start doing this, I have many people I see over and over and chicken out about talking to.)
- I sometimes target people I want to get to know....lol. Did they mention in passing they want to try X meal at Y restaurant? (Regardless of how you started talking). Great I'm gonna text them in 2 days from now and invite them to that plan. From putting in 0 effort to making friends in college, and paying for it, I now realize you need to be aggressive sometimes about asking people to plans, and those who are open and available and sociable will say yes, and maybe they'll ask you to hang next time!
- The root of this is just talking to 923789 people and figuring out who is awake alert and attentive, so you have to find someone who isn't obsessed with their status quo, and who is willing to sit down at lunch with a stranger and shoot the shit. Circling back, I have found these people via community groups.
I was really excited to think about this ask because I think people take close connections of all types for granted sometimes. Hope I said something worth anything.
Mar 16, 2024
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People often ask this question on my countryâs subreddit and i can definitely understand their âfrustrationâ when it comes to feeling âlonelyâ. However i always say :
In order to find new friends you should find yourself first.
- Discovering your true self is mandatory to be able to find new friends, what are your interests ? What inspires you in life ? Whatâs your perspective in certain things ?
Once we truly find something that could connect us with other people, friends will come along easily (Not easily a 100% but itâs a step forward to that)
Then the internet stays the best way to connect with new people honestly, it all depends on the usage !
You like art ? Post your work, your opinions about certain art pieces, ask for advice to âperfectâ your work and see your cmments and dms be full of people WILLING to help and connect !
Same thing for the rest of the interests !
Political opinions ? Join the right subreddits for it
IT field ? Join discord and github communities
You like Gardening ? Facebook groups and subreddits !
You canât imagine how many GOOD people are out there willing to share and connect and help those with their same interests!
And people are so interested in whatâs new ! What you think is ânormalâ for you can literally make you so interesting for some people ! (The way you dress, the way you talk, even how you arrange your bag ! Just keep a smile on your face đ).
Just donât get attached too easily and give it time to grow.
Feb 1, 2025
Top Recs from @wakeuplmd
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Everything in your life does not have to be subscription based, and subscription does not equate a service being good. If Iâm paying $24.99 a month to watch Netflix in 4K UHD, I should expect to see what I pay for, not subpar playback latency, low bitrate streams, many app crashes, and overall looking terrible on anything that isnât a 4K display.
Remember when you could buy things and own them, like, forever?
There is a better world out there past Netflix, Hulu, Spotify and Amazon Prime.
Mar 15, 2025
You donât have to tell everyone everything in/about your life, especially online, in todayâs online yet frequently data-breached world. Like the great Christopher Wallace once said: Keep your family and business completely separated
Mar 24, 2025
I have a near-Biblical dislike of Allbirds shoes and every other Tim Cook Jeff Bezos Middle-aged Balding Pickleball coach ass shoe out there for convincing the public that these were in any way cool. No dude, you look like a loser with these. They look bland and lifeless, like they were concocted in the same boardroom that made the flat graphic design trend that Meta and Google love so much. Hell, even notorious ip-infringer Skechers makes better looking shoes than these. They donât even feel good to wear. They have no soul or personality and yet some people swear by them. Who are these shoes for?
Feb 16, 2025