It’s a strategy, and it starts with wanting to learn how to say no. The second step is to ask yourself a few questions, like: What am I sacrificing by saying yes? Am I saying yes out of guilt or obligation? What would happen if I said no?
You sit with those questions for a bit, and eventually, you’ll unconsciously start using them as an automatic first response. To build that habit, you really need to reflect on yourself whenever you’re asked to hang out or do something.
But you can’t question your answer afterward, because that will definitely lead you to think, “Okay, I’m just gonna go.” Your first thought is important here—listen to yourself.
This is what I can say would work for someone, if I had to summarize my therapy visits, lol.
For me, to protect my peace, what worked was going to therapy. I learned things I never thought I could. At the beginning, it’s hard, but you’ll see how you can’t back down once you tell yourself that this is the only way.
Jan 29, 2025
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Save ”yes” for what you excites you, interests you, or is at the very least within your capacity. Not every “yes” needs to be enthusiastic but it should be authentic.
Some people have no trouble telling others “no” but it’s taken me a lot of practice. I’ve had to realize that my friends and family love me and value our relationship beyond any single request. Love isn’t transactional like this — or it shouldn’t be, at least.
Anyone you can’t say ”no” to is a walking red flag.
Nov 29, 2024
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if you grew up being a people pleaser like me, it can be so damn hard to set boundaries. but it was so great when I finally realized I simply didn’t have to say yes to everything/everyone.
it was wild. blew my mind. I highly recommend.
Aug 8, 2024
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This is one that I am still relearning everyday. It's always been rather dificult for me to ask for what I want, or even need. Not sure when or why this pattern started but it became glaringly obvious to me as I matured that the strongest tool I have in my arsenal is self advocacy. I realized that if you aren't willing to speak up for yourself and fight for yourself then that makes it all the more difficult for others to help you because NO ONE KNOWS WHAT YOU WANT UNLESS YOU TELL THEM FIRST. Slowly shedding the fear around being heard and seen has drastically changed my life for the better. My biggest resolution this year was to stop being so scared of everything and that incudes asking for what I want or even what I know I deserve. It's definitely a journey, and something that I need to work on/relearn everyday but everyday is getting easier and better.
Apr 4, 2025
Top Recs from @conconetedekoko
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I just started the process of creating my own brand in order to get serious with my carreer. I currently am pursuing a Advertising degree, and broooooooooooooooooooootheeer it sucks ass.
I feel sooo desmotivated, but I went to my therapist and DANG SHE DO MAKE GOOD USE OF MY MONEY, she told me that I could target a certain group to provide them with services. honestly I LOVE IT.
it got me excited enough to see what am lacking, and to see what am not. While am a creative type of soul, I do struggle a lot at the moment as I been working to survive and not working to grow my carreer. this si honestly awful, but so true. If you are not born in a golden spoon type of situation, you will have to push harder. Saying that, i want you to know that you can do this, and everything is possible.
Id on't have resources, period. however I'm pushing with what I can and what I have, i don't feel like a fool when am doing creative stuff but I do feel like a fool when am doing customer service dang I hate ppl honestly and a kind specifically but that's too controversial.
Anywas, I wanted to share how am literally starting a business lol, and so do you. Is ALL about the LITTLE things, belive me.
OF COURSE, i will appreciate all the support and clients you guys can provide me with jijiji but that will be for another post.
THANK YOU FOR READING < 3
Feb 12, 2025
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I just found out my crush has a gf. WHY????
who am i supposed to look foward to???? we never speak though 🤡
Jan 28, 2025
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Having a crush at work is wild. I’ve decided to keep it as just that—a crush—which means absolutely no interactions with this person. I want to stay focused at work, but let me be clear: it doesn’t make them any less BEAUTIFUL.
Sometimes, I let myself steal a glance, feeling that thrilling rush while thinking, “What if they can tell how I feel just by looking at my eyes?”And then, of course, the terrifying follow-up: “What if the answer is yes?!” It’s pure chaos in my head.
But here’s the kicker —I recently found out he has a girlfriend. When I heard that, believe me, I wanted to evaporate on the spot. But I couldn’t, because, of course, it’s just a crush 😞
So now, here I am: heartbroken over someone I’ve never spoken to and never will speak to.
Jan 28, 2025