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On my walk home from work at night, I pass it. I look into the church and see lights on inside and wonder who is up so late working on research or simply passing the time behind unknown walls. I wish to pass through the iron gates like a phantom in the night and idle as the stars die in my wake; never moving, never ceasing. Insomniacal practice. Haunting those who dare to grow their mind when it should be maintenancing in slumber. I look on with envy as the wisps remind me the gates are there for a reason, and my flesh is not permeable.
The towering architecture only looms over me to press it in.
I pass it and think of what I could have been.
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Damp, cold, aging walls. Unidentifiable echoes. Feeling like you’re being swallowed by a worm. An urban cave, I guess. One near my house has train tracks — I love the tame thrill of having a locomotive run over me.
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Mar 23, 2025
Top Recs from @sinner
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I’m not sure if anyone else feels the immense anxiety about this incoming year as an American. I have always had a gloom about the world and been a realist but now the line between realism and pessimism is blurring. I’ve looked at plane tickets to different countries, I have a renewed passport, I am worried about the safety of my partner, friends, and family. Tonight’s celebration feels like a last. I am prone to heavy feelings but this feels more realistic as I said, and that is what is worrying me the most. I am unsure of what platforms will get banned or silenced / heavily moderated but I feel like social media is going to have a boom more so than it already has in this upcoming presidency. I think a lot of people of minority will seek refuge in these platforms, this one included, not only as an escape but as a way to exist without hate and seek social connection. These promises made by the one who is to be in charge are terrifying, and if they don’t terrify you, you are either lucky or in denial. I don’t know about all of you, but I am hiding my pride flag after today. I pray for all those who wear theirs proudly in the upcoming year that you will be safe and unharmed. I pray for all those going to be affected by these next four years, including those who are being hurt across the globe. I am no religious affiliate but I pray to whomever may listen.
I hope all of those who read this have a fun and safe celebration tonight and party with lack of worry. Thank you for letting me share my thoughts, they were heavy being carried on my own.
Dec 31, 2024
something about ambient instrumentals have been hitting hard lately
Jan 25, 2025