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compulsion, devotion, tokenism

It's been a time of great emotional upheaval lately, kicking up old dirt, airing out miasmas, the works. I feel like it's a time of good change, working towards something bigger, and coming out the other side feeling more in my skin. The issue lies with the compulsion to devotion and in a sense religion with it all. I grew up culturally Methodist, but never identified fully with the religion. There was a period where I denied any and all religion out of spite to the institution I was in, there was a period I desperately wanted to believe in guidance or some power watching over me, but it eventually settled to agnosticm. That's where I lay, that's where I've been. Until lately, where Ive felt a pull to explore that side again. It began with a compulsion to draw the natural order, the intertwining of human and animal behaviour. I never knew what I was drawing, or what any of it meant, I just knew it was something bigger than my own words, and it had to be out of me otherwise it would burn a hole through me. I picked up the music of Ethel Cain, ever the sucker for religious imagery, but her music and approach has made me question things. I feel drawn towards a devotion, not necessarily towards the Christian gods or organized religion as a whole but something bigger, more ancient//primal than that? Maybe there is a god in the world, the sun, the gravitational pull, the trees, the water, the butterflies, EVERYTHING IS A CIRCLE. Ritual, giving myself up in a way brings a form of floating comfort, autonomy? I don't know how to describe it. It's been on my mind, i've been pretty vocal about it, and also my newfound love//fixation on Ethel Cain. I don't know. part of me wonders if maybe people think this whole schtick I'm on is derivative of this music fixation and in a way a performance evoked by the music. i don't quite know why it matters to me, i guess I'm just worried my friends are getting sick of it. i do not feel like the same person, there is something much bigger than all of us, even if it is not omniscient or heavenly, it is not us.

@athenainsight

Mar 25, 2025

1

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take the folkpill

study the folklore and myth of your actual local region. live your daily life under the logic of fairytales. communicate as heavily as possible in proverbs and riddles. humans are a storytelling creature and there is a reason these archetypes and motifs appear to humans across times/cultures/places

@bisonspider

Feb 13, 2024

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I’ve asked people what they find fascinating

I’m making a zine about it Waterfalls Sunsets Kung fu masters Flamenco Disgusting and rude people People who write songs with complex structures Stories of how people met Faces, what they show and what they hide Light and color The present, what we're living now Infinity, spatially and temporally Surrealism Space Time Violence Sects The human mind, mental disorders Women Stars, the infinitely big, the infinitely small, but it's scary Animals Very big books That I could never read them all Mythology, where it came from, how it started, the fact that it was passed down orally The sea, the ocean Murder stories The maritime world, its shapes, fishing nets Coincidences Mathematical probabilities Philosophy Reflections Felines Laws of physics Love and human relationships Hands Thoughts Dreams Group effects, crowds Fire

@neiraa

Dec 5, 2024

Top Recs from @greenstar

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•U•sa•ha•na• Computer

My ebay window-shopping habit has spiraled out of control

@greenstar

Mar 12, 2025

4

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parallel play

it's fun to make stuff next to other people :,)

@greenstar

Feb 8, 2025

2

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SOVIET (& SOMETIMES IMPERIAL) PORCELAIN FIGURINES

Lately I've been spending too much time scouring every corner of eBay I can for the cheapest and most delightful soviet era porcelain figurines available I didn't even realize it until diving head first into this rabbit hole, but I have had soviet era porcelain figurines my whole life (a bunny and a bull for those curious), so I guess I was always destined to develop a fondness for the form, and eventually dig a little deeper into it. There is something so incredibly charming and also incredibly interesting about these porcelain pieces! These little guys! There's a lot of history to dig into that I've barely scratched the surface of AT ALL, but I'm fascinated by how porcelain reflected the common sentiments* of the times, the economic conditions, the artistic movements and ideas of the day, and also the ability (or lack thereof) of people to stay in one place and hold onto something so "useless" and easily broken. I have very, very few things from any of my ancestors. Figurines like these make me think about the way history and art are passed down to us, forgotten, broken, left behind, sold in thrift stores and online, if they survive at all. Figurine collections are kind of a barometer of safety and stability, or at least how dedicated to the illusion of it you might be. They also make me think about how useful "useless" things can be. How even art that is purely decorative can be thought-provoking (by for example valorizing "folks"), or just make you happy (via being very cute! Or expert use of color and form!). Grannies collect this shit for many good reasons and I'm starting to catch on. __________________________ * Notably the $$$ collectors type ones are the ethnographic figurines, something I NEED to read an academic paper about. Especially, because Ive noticed some of these figurines depicting "ethnic types" are inaccurate copies of earlier prints, which themselves should be placed under immense scrutiny! This is all extra interesting in the context of the porcelain industry transitioning from imperial rule to the soviet era. The ways of talking about ethnicity changed, (in addition obviously to y'know, everything!) but the products produced largely remained the same. Lots to think about!!!

@greenstar

Jan 31, 2025

5