đź’—
Every person brings different qualities out in us and our connections with these people lead us down different paths. These missed connections aren’t even necessarily about the person themselves but about the life you could have lived together and the changes they would have brought about in you. It does require a kind of mourning to be able to let go.
It’s tragic when there’s someone you feel so compatible with but the circumstances just weren’t quite right—I’ve definitely experienced this myself—but these connections exist in their context. Everyone we touch can’t be our forever love, but they can stay with us forever in our hearts. Love can take so many forms outside of the confines of a traditional relationship. Think of what you shared with them as a gift, rather than dwelling on what could have been.
Jan 26, 2025
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đź’”
Basically what several others have said, but just want to emphasize that often when the timing is wrong, something else will be wrong at a later time that will make it clear to you there was no way you could have brute-forced that relationship to ultimately work well for both of you. I’m happily married with no regrets right now, but I’ve taken comfort before in loving the ones who have “gotten away” from afar by imagining how happy they could be with someone else—because if I truly loved them, wouldn’t I want what makes them happy, even if it’s not with me? And what a gift to truly love someone even when they can do nothing for you in return… it says something about your capacity for love, even if it exists alongside pain or loneliness.
(that said, yes it can hurt like hell and it sucks)
Jan 27, 2025
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I just saw someone say “who says true love can’t be fleeting?” And it honestly put what I view as “love” into a new perspective. That puppy love you get for a few weeks with someone before it fizzles out or whatever is still love!
I had an extremely loving friendship with a person years ago,I’d had known them for 10 years before we had a falling out and I haven’t seen them since. That relationship was still love though, and the impact it had on my life will never go away.
Jan 18, 2025
đź’—
i’m definitely a hopeless romantic but i think i have a good sense of realistic expectations in (romantic) love. so obviously i hope i find someone that’s like the loml but i understand how rare that is!
and i find it much more important to spend time appreciating love for yourself and others and nature and so on. all loves are important and abundant when you embrace them! maybe related — i know it’s the generational norm but dating apps feel way too unnatural to me.
i also think when we talk about “love of your life” it’s always finite; i believe it’s more normal/realistic to have someone be the love of your life at a specific point in your life, and later you maybe part ways when you realize your lives and selves have separately evolved from that time.
but i know so many people who define their lives/future over being in their specific relationship (regardless if it’s monogamous or not!) and i have found that is unhealthy and unsustainable. i think you can get so deep into a relationship that you drown in it!
May 14, 2024
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“Life shrinks or expands in proportion to one's courage.”
— Anaïs Nin
This is uncharacteristically raw and personal, even for me, and pretty heavy! I know many of you have seen me posting through it and I feel safe to talk about it openly now that I’ve safely landed at the start of my new life. It’s honestly even a little bit embarrassing but I think it’s important to share.
I’ve never publicly mentioned it on here, but I have a husband; as of Friday, we’d have been together for 11 years, and we’ve been married for 3 years as of 2/22. I realize now that I wanted to explore what I looked like outside of my relationship with him because I had lost that. This is why PI.FYI has been so meaningful to me as a space to express myself and connect with people—to rediscover my voice.
I had been living a lie this entire time, to others but worst of all to myself. He’s been verbally and emotionally abusive, physically but without touching me, to the point that every day I spent with him I was in danger. I’ve been shrinking myself and walking on eggshells to avoid making him insecure and provoking his casual put-downs and fits of rage, while hanging on for dear life to the threads of good I could see.
I’ve wanted so badly to leave, more than anything, but I felt like there was no way out and that this was just something I would need to endure indefinitely—but someone who is so very dear to me helped me see that I have wings to fly, not by acting as my savior but by reminding me of my own power. The emotional safety they built and the gentle care they showed me made me feel like I could open up to them. With their encouragement I was brave enough to tell the truth to my friends, my family, my boss, and they have received me with warm, loving and open arms and rallied to support and protect me. The financial and logistical aspects were the most intimidating to me and it’s going to be tough for a while but I’m going to be better than okay!
Now I’m opening up to you. This isn’t the only abuse I’ve suffered in my life, and my old therapist told me she believed it was my mission to share my strength and light with others to inspire them and show them that change is possible.
I hope that by sharing this, I can reach even just one person who is going through something similar and show that they are not alone, and they are not weak. People with certain backgrounds may be more vulnerable to abuse, but it can happen to anyone. It thrives in darkness, shame, and isolation—and breaking that silence is the first step toward freedom.
Leaving is the scariest thing I have ever done but I have so many angels around me, and I am endlessly grateful. Thank you for being here with me đź’Ś
Mar 16, 2025
My dad teases me about how when I was a little kid, my favorite thing to do when I was on the landline phone with somebody—be it a relative or one of my best friends—was to breathlessly describe the things that were in my bedroom so that they could have a mental picture of everything I loved and chose to surround myself with, and where I sat at that moment in time. Perfectly Imperfect reminds me of that so thanks for always listening and for sharing with me too 💌
Feb 23, 2025
Schedule sent my resignation email for the morning, effective immediately âś…đź’…
Feb 27, 2025