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I just got these new glasses which is the first time I’ve picked out non- silver wire frames in like a decade (?). It’s a micro dose of change that feels like a continuation of my personal style with some fresh life breathed into it. An accessory yes, but a necessary one that reframes what my face has looked like daily for my entire 20s (wild). But hey, I’m turning 30 this year and expansion is good!
I’ve been thinking about personal style and how it’s both consistent and an evolution (much like many aspects of tapping in one one’s identity). When I think about how I’ve dressed over the years, in many ways it’s changed but there have also been through lines and bits that’ve morphed slightly as I have. Like did I wear a tie to my 5th grade graduation? yes. Have I been interested in wearing ties again as of late? Also yes.
Subrina Heynik, a stylist and writer posted about personal style on her substack (linked) saying:
“In essence, true personal style is not an individual process. It is a constellation of our many selves and our many references.” She separates personal style from trendiness and the need to be unique. Saying rather that personal style is a life long process of figuring out what you like and how you can make that happen on your body. This makes me think of my coworker who wears the same earrings, black pants and black tshirt everyday— how that’s not a unique look but it is very much her personal style and works for her.
I’ve rambled from glasses but my circuitous point is that it’s good to lean into new things, even when they’re small.
Jan 25, 2025
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god i could really write a whole essay on this
for context, i’m studying pattern cutting and have been really into/very specific about my clothes forever but have known fashion since maybe 15-16
because of how i fit into the clothes-scape my tastes cannot be separated from trends whether i like it or not. how i dress is rather on trend lately tbh
over the years my pants have gotten bigger as i grow more accustomed to the comfort of having less fabric on your body + the dynamism of a wide leg in the somewhat constrained silhouettes of menswear. also inextricable from wider pants just becoming more a part of the collective consciousness and thus my consciousness
my tops have gotten smaller & tighter as i've grown more confident and comfortable with my body. still love a baggy vintage tee when it’s warm though
maybe best way is to talk my fav clothes and why they’re my fav clothes:
- plasticana clogs. super california shoe but also like a half clog half loafer. i love heeled shoes i think they’re more elegant and just more smooth so i’ve worn loafers mostly for the last 6 years. these are like if those felt like sneakers to me. so easy so comfy
- fadepants cords. super baggy, so fucking comfortable. really dynamic shape with a lot of personality. they just feel right
- slim gildan tees. they remind me of the artist guy in Blow-Up and the way that guy looks reminds me of the energy we all used to have in the wood/metalshops at parsons, functional dress
- hanes beaters. so new york summer. also i love how they fit me they flatter my build
- oakley sunglasses. indestructible. ridiculous shape in a way i can own. michael jordan wore them in the 90’s and i love basketball & his game
- bandanas. remind me of home. remind me of my gay ass new york friends. a lot of them were from home too but i met them all in new york. funny how life works. they suit my hair well when i don’t feel like wearing a hat or i haven’t got time for a shower, and it’s very windy in stratford a hat might blow off
- 90’s vintage snapbacks. they fit over my hair that’s really the only reason
- our legacy borrowed bd shirt. it reminds me of the shirts my friend katie wears and those shirts are aggressively northern california. so is this one. and it’s just cute
- supreme leather collar work jacket. has all of the pockets, and the roundness/diesel type fit that a new yorker’s jacket would have. and that makes me happy. form + function
i think right now my style is in a pretty solid place of amalgamating the things that make me me, between upbringing, interests, places i’ve lived + the things i’ve taken from them, queerness, and my growing understanding of how all the things i wear are made. feeling really good about it all. want to figure out how to wear 90’s retro basketball sneakers though because they’re something i’ve loved forever and im a huge basketball fan but they’ve just never felt right when i tried them, except foamposites. personal style is a neverending pursuit if you’re doing it right
May 14, 2024
In the years of 2020-2023, I was in my early 20s and very much in between aesthetics. I hated the clothes I wore, and was looking for new ways to express myself through my fashion. With the seemingly never slowing down trend cycle that was going at the speed of light at that time, and my tiny paychecks, I basically solely relied on Shein to allow me some freedom and creativity with my style. For a few years, I was stuck in the repeated cycle of ordering 50+ cheap items, and then donating 10-20 of them within the same year, and repeating that again when I would get bored of what I had. I would go thrifting too to try and "balance out" my fast fashion endeavors, but would end up buying more things that I hated by the time I got home. I could not figure out how to make any of these items work with my wardrobe, regardless if they were new or used. This reckless consumerism taught me absolutely nothing about my sense of style. I had to figure out the hard way that style is not something you acquire overnight, and that you cannot always rely on trends to find items you will like for a lifetime. Fast fashion has done nothing but taught us to cycle through clothing at a rate where no one can keep up, and has left many of us in a place where we are only satisfied with how we dress for no longer than a few months at a time.
Discovering your personal style is one of the things that should take time.
I'm 25 now, and I find it very important to source good quality items that I know will be a staple in my wardrobe for a long long time. I've decided that if I want to buy new clothing, I will get most of my new clothes from thrift/vintage shops and boutiques (online or in person). I haven't completely shuttered out fast fashion, though. I only buy items that I am able to try on in person to make sure it is made with good material (aka: the plain $10 Walmart zip-up hoodies that feel like butter). By embracing a slower approach to finding my personal style, I've found quite a few key items that I really love to wear over the past two years, and in turn I have greatly reduced the amount of clothing that gets donated. I am still learning how to accessorize, and am trying my best to utilize as much of my existing closet as possible. It is a journey! I can't wait to see where my more sustainable approach to a style journey brings me!
QUALITY > QUANTITY
Feb 12, 2025
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comfort has been my main focus since i was a toddler & i’m trying to honor that intuition in adulthood. i want to feel comfortable in my own skin & wardrobe, which is a challenge as a bigger woman raised in purity culture & fashion as vanity. i’m still most comfortable in modest looks & don't see that changing. the quality & texture of fabric is important to me as well. i don’t like anything that tugs or clings in an irritating way.
i’m also pragmatic so i want functional clothing that will last & i'm trying to build my mending & maintenance skills. i love leather shoes & bags, they’re so warm & classic & durable. i love buying thrifted things that have some life in them already. i love having one-of-a-kind pieces that i can make my own.
i often feel stuck between wanting to express myself through style & wanting to be as nondescript as possible. i like the validation of a good fit but also hate making an entrance. sometimes i’ll put together a look i love & then i’ll swap out one of the elements to ruin it cuz i feel too intimidated. i don’t know if this is because of social anxiety or body image issues or my feelings of not belonging throughout childhood. maybe this is my way of avoiding distraction so i can be present with the people around me.
aesthetics-wise, i love dressing like a fun auntie sometimes (typically in spring/summer) & other times i want to lean more masc with edgy streetwear looks (fall/winter). unique prints are a must, rich earth & jewel tones, classic & sturdy footwear, handcrafted jewelry with a story behind it. idk how to weave together these competing energies of warmth & playfulness, stifled rebellion & hesitant individuality. still trying to identify what i like & give myself space to explore & express that!
May 9, 2024
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I threw a dinner party last night and it was so much fun! It’s winter and it’s been pretty bleak, so I thought it be nice to have friends over. This was my first time hosting something completely solo and I thought it would be very stressful but it was smooth sailing and the night was merry and cute! For me this past year has really been about platonically putting myself out there and forging local friendships and last night felt like a cumulation of that effort :-) It wasn’t a super fancy meal, but still, very nice. It’s great to be invited but its also like sometimes you gotta make the magic happen
Feb 17, 2025
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Intentionally putting on a special outfit for chilling really enhances the experience.
Dec 27, 2024
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I’m sitting outside eating a spicy falafel wrap and fries in the best city (Philadelphia), the sun is shining, ambient music is being played directly into my eardrums, I’m texting friends, a child is playing and just leapt over me. I’m wishing everyone I talk to a happy new year :)
Dec 30, 2024