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I am a social worker and this is something that I was taught early on that has stuck with me.
In order to help others, we first need to take care of ourselves. We do no one any favors by giving, giving, giving and burning ourselves out. This is not by any means suggest that we only take care of ourselves and ignore the needs of others, but rather that we have to put ourselves and our well-being first to a certain extent. We do not need to be martyrs.
The next is the We. This is your community. This is your family, your friends, the people in your neighborhood, your town. How can you best support them? How can you enact change on this level? This can look like being a supportive friend or neighbor. This can look like volunteering, this could look like fighting to enact change in your community on a governmental level. When it comes to radicalizing people, you have to meet them human to human anyway. You would be amazed how many peopleās hearts can change by developing relationships with people that are different from them.
The most outer layer is Them. This is people in communities outside of your own, even across the world. Itās so much easier with social media to be tuned into these atrocities happening all over the world. It is great that so many people feel called to Change on that level. Also, it is really difficult. It can be incredibly despairing to realize you do not have as much power to make change on that level as you wish. That does not mean you stop trying, it means you go back to the We and the Me. That will help ground you and give you energy for the larger, marathon like issues. Tune in as much as you can handle and find a way to contribute that is feasible for you. Like. bee1000 said, you do not need to be an expert. There is so much pressure with social media to be tuned in 24/7. Find a reputable news source to check daily, and see what you can contribute. Itās not about completely tuning out, but adjusting the dial a little bit.
Jan 22, 2025
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To be upfront, there are two things about myself that I love:
1. I'm tenacious AF
2. I am generally a positive person. I can handle almost any situtation, and I've had to learn to actually ask/demand more, so it's not always great.
With that being said, I've wanted to die many times. I've experienced a lot of trauma. I have PTSD for years. Things got to a point where I knew if I didn't make really drastic changes I was going to die in some way- I simply could not go on how I was.
The only thing that started to change things is when I started to learn more about myself and my reasons for doing things, being with certain people, getting into certain relationships. Part of my whole issue was that I had major trauma from childhood that I was actively avoiding. So many things happen to us as children, big and small, that we don't have the capacticy to deal with at the time. But as adults, we do.
I remember the moment where things started shifting for me. It unlocked a hunger in me to dig more and more to why I was the way I was, and why I made the choices I did, in a really deep way. I became more action oriented in facing my shit, healing it, and discovering what I was like without it. It definitely wasn't easy, and it wasn't fun most of the time, but in reality the years I spent doing that are small compared to the life I have ahead of me. I'm a whole new person, but the parts of me that are true are the same. I became a more mature, loving, responsible version of myself.
Hating your life is a sign something is not working. If you're unsure what that is, go inward. If you don't know where to start, think about the very next step. That's all you need to do. You're never locked in where you're at now forever. Don't know what you want to do for a career? Switch gears and do a completely different job. There is no timeline. You can literally do whatever you want. When I was doing a lot of the stressful inner work, I worked at animal shelters because I needed something so low stress. And I was mid 20's!!! No career goals in sight!!! Not even anywhere in my brain!!! If you're straight up hating something that is taking up most of your time... just quit it. Life is too short.
Success to me is ease and grace. I want a peaceful, joyful life (most of the time). Sometimes to figure out what you need to do, you gotta take a giant step back. Or a step to the left. Or take a big roundabout. Or maybe a quest needs to be taken...
Dec 4, 2024
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from the perspective of being in therapy, i personally try my best to stay away from this mindset because it only hurts you. one way i break out of this thought is by asking myself a few things:
1) am i physically in danger?
2) has anything changed that will affect my livelihood today?
i think that a lot of times, we look at news and things going on around us or thousands of miles away and we jump to conclusions and kinda forecast what effects will happen to us or others in the near future. that isnāt so healthy if you canāt use this energy constructively to advocate for yourself and others.
so either we accept things and move forward, or we block out the nonsense going around us. personally i do a mixture of both.
Apr 6, 2025
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This will be a long one, sorry in advance. Coincidentally, I was recently going through all of my bookshelves to sort what Iām keeping and what Iām giving away. I found some older journals of mine; Iām historically very bad at keeping journals but I always try and usually manage a few to even several months of some years. Looking back at them was bittersweet because I was in the same boat, severely depressed most years and wondering what the point of anything was. But at the same time, I got to see things like old bucket lists I made myself and all of the things Iāve checked off. It was an interesting moment of considering what my younger self would be thinking of me and what Iāve done in the years since whichever year it each book was from.
While I wouldnāt say time makes everything better, I will say that when you just keep pushing through eventually there comes a point where youāre more at peace than ever and you donāt even realize it at first. I donāt think thereās one universal āMeaning of life,ā but I do think the human experience is so complex and we have to teach ourselves to give our self some grace.Ā Ā
A few years ago I was at an all time high for stress, I have an autoimmune disease and the flare ups were only worsened by the stress, anxiety, and depression I was feeling, I felt burnt out and like I had put my whole life on hold for other people. Iāve since learned that while it sounds funny on the internet, free will is a beautiful thing. Choosing where and with who you spend your energy, doing things just for the love of doing them, traveling even if itās by yourself, taking yourself out to dinner or cooking for one. Iāve learned that thereās no point feeling embarrassment or anxiety about doing things by myself because really no one is paying that much attention or judging in the first place, but I also tell myself things like āyouāll never see these people again anyway, who cares,ā lol. A big one for me personally was learning boundaries and gray rockingā donāt let other peopleās emotions, moods, and manipulative behaviors dictate the way youāre feeling. But all of these little, seemingly inconsequential in the grand scheme of things (especially when youāre depressed), things that I was teaching myself along the way really helped me learn to start living for myself rather than for other people or any huge existential purpose.Ā
So, while your question was āwhatās the meaning lifeā and I donāt think anyone has a concrete answer, my unsolicited advice is that you have to keep learning yourself. How do you want to spend your time? What things spark joy for you? What things make you feel worse? Try new foods and experience new places, learn, go to museums. Pick up a new hobby. Go out in nature more, sometimes sitting in the sunshine really does wonders.
Alright, Iāll stop my little tangent now, but wishing the bestš«¶š»
Apr 10, 2025
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For some reason this brings me into my parasympathetic nervous system
Mar 28, 2025
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OH BROTHER THIS GUY actually needs a lot of empathy and understanding
Apr 2, 2025
Breaking my very thin, almost non existent air of mystery because I got a haircut I actually like, my favorite jeans fit again, itās a full moon eclipse, 70Ā°, and both of my kidsā birthdays are today!! MAGIC IS REAL AND I AM FULL OF LOVE! š ššššš
Mar 14, 2025