Every once in a while I would get the urge, buy a pack, and feel physically bad and dried out inside of my body after smoking, so I wanted to do it less and less. it’s been years and I still think about it sometimes though!
started buying my own cigs at the start of last year to get through a rough patch. it was me and my marlboro golds against the world back then. was too broke to afford to buy them super regularly so i'd have to ration over weeks. and luckily (not really) my friends also started smoking around the same time so i could bum off them if need be. i've been quitting since i properly started and i haven't bought a pack in a while now. moved onto strictly social smoking but i go out often enough it makes this a tad redundant. i don't desperately fiend for it as much, i could hardly finish the last one i had but god does a drunk cig feel good af. also as someone who does biomed, your reminder and mine that smoking is really bad for you btw!!! we really need to invent smoking that isn't a health hazard.
I'll admit not the best use of my free will. Sometimes I think we just do things as adults because no one is around to really scold us anymore. My ex step mom told not to smoke when I was like four... if only she saw me lmao.
I had like 16 left in this pack and I just threw em away.
After a while my knees would buckle and I'd feel so fatiqued after smoking. And on top of that I was bombarded with non smoking ads and boy oh boy... did that do the trick.
And yeah, I did put this in my journal because why not remeber a downward spiral in my life...?
If you smoke this is not an ad that you should quit, do whatever you want.
My dad teases me about how when I was a little kid, my favorite thing to do when I was on the landline phone with somebody—be it a relative or one of my best friends—was to breathlessly describe the things that were in my bedroom so that they could have a mental picture of everything I loved and chose to surround myself with, and where I sat at that moment in time. Perfectly Imperfect reminds me of that so thanks for always listening and for sharing with me too 💌